I'm writing because I don't know how to, or whether to, approach this guy at work in something other than a friendly, work relationship. I'm interested in dating him or seeing him outside of work but have always been extremely shy, particulary around men in whom I'm interested because I get so nervous. Sometimes because of this I appear more outgoing with everyone else, but with him I get quiet and don't quite know what to say. He, also, is quite shy, though we do talk when there aren't tons of other people around. We're both in our early 20s and the older women at work keep telling me he's interested but I'm not very experienced at all and don't know how to tell if he is or if it's just wishful thinking. He tends to park next to me in the parking lot, he comes to break when I'm there with my other friends, and he sits near me when possible. I'm told that he watches me when I'm not looking, but I'm not sure...Also, I don't want to be too aggressive or make him feel uncomfortable because we do work together and I don't want to finally get the guts to ask him out and have him be completely uninterested because I'll have to see him every day. What should I look for to know if he's interested? What kinds of subtle flirting are appropriate in the work place? And should I pursue this at all or just leave it alone? I don't want to end up regretting that I never tried...but I don't want to make a complete fool of myself either...any advice??

kieranwong

Hi Annie..I guess I'm not really in a position to dispense advice on how to go about pursuing him.. But I'm pretty sure those signs DO mean he's really interested, and you shouldn't just leave it alone. Perhaps you could get colleagues to arrange a date or something? Just a suggestion
Don't be afraid of the outcome or whether he'll turn out to be uninterested..just keep being yourself cos that's what he's interested in you for in the first place. As for signs that he's really into you..guess you can see if he's nervous when talking to you?
Hope I'm making sense and good luck!

chuff

How about arranging group of co-workers to go do something after work is done, such as dinner, bowling, rafting, or anything else. Obviously invite him and if he can make it talk to him outside of work and see what happens then.