He feels smothered

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 06:28 PM

When he say's he smothered, I think he's saying he doesn't have time for you in his life. If you're waiting to become number one, you're wasting your time.

PS. Today's standards are the same as yesterdays

CaptainRich · May 13, 2007, 06:36 PM

Today's standards?!? The only standards are what we want and desire as individuals. Sounds like you want a more stable kind of thing but he's maybe not so ready? How long has he been "single?" He may feel his only "free" space is getting crowded. It can be scary but perhaps a small pause would be ok... I'm no epxert, but sometimes life...

chuff · May 13, 2007, 06:39 PM

[quote=Loulou2468]
From my perspective he has created the

Loulou2468 · May 13, 2007, 06:47 PM

More Info:
I have been single now for 2 years but my divorce & financial settlement has just come through. I've done a lot of soul searching and feel I know who I am.
In no way did I rush this relationship - I absolutely waited for him to call the shots in most aspects as I knew his personal situation and he is worth the wait.
I am happy to give him the time and space that he needs..... Plus hopefully the priviliege of missing me!

Does it sound hopeless?

CaptainRich · May 13, 2007, 06:59 PM

Never hopeless! Always hopeful! You've apparently found some of your center. Show him that and maybe he will find his, too. Show him he can find it with you. Sounds sappy but we use what we have to get us through. Good luck!

AltaVista · May 13, 2007, 07:02 PM

Hopeless? While I don't want to be the one to say 'yes' here, but based upon what I've read it kind of looks like it could be a very long wait for you. His list of priorities certainly doesn't have you in first or second place. You seem to be ready to put a lot more effort into this relationship than he does, and that will probably just lead to more hurt for you.
Regarding your first statement about 'today's standards' - I only wish there were more standards (and higher standards!) about relationships this days. It seems that anything goes and respect for the other person just doesn't count for much.
Just a thought ....
Best of luck,
David

AW805 · May 13, 2007, 07:09 PM

Loulou2468: I think what you meant by saying you weren't sure about today's standards -- if they've changed for women... No, they haven't. Don't settle for anything less than what you think you are worth.
As far as hopeless.. I still stand behind my first post. You're waiting in line. Don't expect much more than that.

talaniman · May 13, 2007, 07:14 PM

He is not ready, and don't know when he will. Give him what he wants, and its always a good idea to have a life that you enjoy without him. Maybe be busy when he calls and his daughters are away. None the less live for you and not him. Lot of interesting mature guys out there waiting to date a nice female like yourself, so be careful tying your star on any one guy for a while. Enjoy being single and FREE

silk_silver · May 2, 2009, 07:58 PM

In my opinion, I think he is starting to loose interest in you because of all the pressure and cirumstances that surrounds him. For some reason, the first thing men tend to let go of is their relationship with their significant other. Most certainly work and the kids are his top priority. Unfortunately, you come in third. I was in that type of relationship before. He had a teenage son that he saw on weekends as well as a job that was just demanding. In the end he got so exhausted he gave up on me. Good luck with finding someone else.

He feels smothered

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