The right words and approach

citylover · #1 Jan 2, 2006, 02:27 PM

I am female and I have a guy who is my best friend for 3 years, whom I have fallen for. We hang out together all the time. We are in our 40's. We have never shared intimacy but lots of flirting & lots of chemistry. We do things together all the time. I would like to ask him about changing the friendship to a relationship. I need some help in choosing the right words and approach. He is taking me out to dinner this week for a post New Year's celebration. I want to know as we start this new year so I can either go forward with him or move on.

Here is some of what I was thinking plse tell me what you think & offer advice & suggestions.
When to say it???
1. approaching the subject at the end of the night once we are saying goodnight in the car so if he says "no" it does not make the whole evening awkard

2. inviting him up at the end of the evening and saying it once we are inside
(hopefully he'll come up but I need an alternative if he does not)

3. saying it at the end of the dinner (but if he says "no" the drive home may be awkard).

What to say???
1. we have a great friemdship and I would like to take it to another level and wanted to know what you think? I would like us to date as a couple?

2. What do you think about changing this relationship & dating?

3. I really enjoy being with you, I respect & appreciate who you are as a person and I miss you when I'm not around you. I'd like to take out friendship to the next level & date. How do you feel about that?

I know he has been hurt a couple of times & is a bit shy.
Suggestions, opinions, please!!!

citylover · Jan 2, 2006, 03:03 PM

I don't want to scare him off. Seems like that would really scare him off.

citylover · Jan 2, 2006, 03:17 PM

Well it's like we are dating..but we are not. We do a lot of thing togthere but there has been no intimacy.

citylover · Jan 2, 2006, 03:25 PM

Well I still think I have to raise the issue and see what response I get so I know for sure where this can go.

talaniman · Jan 2, 2006, 03:28 PM

Anything worth having is worth taking a risk for,I wish you luck and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

citylover · Jan 2, 2006, 03:30 PM

Thanks talaniman.
So do you have any suggestions re the "when & how" on my original question?
Are you male or female?
If you are male what would get your response the most?
If you are feamale which would you do?

manutd4eva · Jan 2, 2006, 03:37 PM

hi i think you should just be yourself and at dinner near the end just say too him.

ill hav my fingers crossed 4 u



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