My heart has been broken and I find comfort reading posts about similar break up stories. I figure I'll post about my own break up story and get some feedback from you guys. Here it is...

My boyfriend (now ex) and I have been dating for 1 and 1/2 year and I thought that he was the love of my life. We were happy together and even though we had our ups and downs, we always found a way to reconcile and be happy again. I felt we were two of the luckiest people because we found love. People who knew us as a couple were always commenting that they're hearing wedding bells. I believed them and started bringing up marriage, kids, etc. We were planning our future together and I thought he was at a point in his life where he was ready too (he's 32, I'm 29).

Well, I'm currently in school and I have to do rotations at another state this year, which means that he and I have to do long distance for about a year. I left him a month ago but we promised each other we'd call everyday and visit often. He cried when he dropped me off at the airport and our farewell was sweet. A month had gone by and LDR is hard but we called everyday and all seemed well. About 2 weeks ago, he was supposed to visit me. He called me an hour before he was supposed to leave to the airport and told me he wasn't coming anymore. He sounded a little panicky. He told me he was breaking up with me because he didn't think it would work out. He told me he's not ready for marriage, and it would be unfair to string me along for another year. He wished me well and told me I should date other people and be with someone who can give me what I want. I was devastated. The call came out of nowhere, when just the day before, everything seemed normal between us. I begged him to come anyway since his plane ticket was set and ready and we could discuss this in person. But he refused, saying that "it will complicate things."

Needless to say, I was shocked, hurt and confused. I called him later that night and asked him to explain his change of heart. He told me it wasn't me; it was him. At first I thought it was just a BS line he was using to spare my feelings. But then he explained more and he told me that he has always gotten cold feet after dating a girl for more than a year (he's had 10 girlfriends before me, each relationship lasting for about a year or two). He knew that the topic of marriage would come up and he'd feel pressured to get married, which he wasn't ready for. His parents are divorced and he told me he didn't want to go through the same thing. He told me I'm the best girlfriend he ever had but he's still not ready to settle down. He told me that he might regret his decision one day because he was letting go the best thing in his life right now.

It's been more than 2 weeks now, and even though the shock has subsided, my heart is still breaking. I still love him and hope he'd change his mind one day. I know it's best to cut all contacts with him at this point but I caved and called him a few times during the first week after our break up. Our conversations had sounded normal, as if we were us again, but he was still resolute in his decision and it hurts me to talk to him when he no longer wants to be with me. So I'm trying really hard not to call anymore and to try to move on with my life. It helps that I'm at a new place and are meeting new friends, but I still miss him terribly and it makes me sad that things ended the way they did. I felt so blindsighted. I didn't know he had so much doubts about our relationship. He has been pretending that he was happy. Either that, or I have been so naïve to not realize he was unhappy and was looking for a way out these past few months.

Thanks for reading... Any pearl of wisdom or suggestion would be greatly appreciated.