I broke up with over 2 months ago. Things were getting too complicated and serious. He was 27, me 22. I am young to settle down so I backed off. Because I couldn't see this working out this time around. I have told him this all the reason why I am breaking up with him. Which has nothing to do with him but the things I need to face to be with him.
i went overseas and had a rebound relationship for a month. But we still kept in contact nearly daily bases. And some flirty things were said like i told him "i miss him" "i want to kiss him" and he said "wish things worked out" "he keeps checking his phone to see i texted" and "he missed me"
When I came back I knew I wanted him back and learned a greater appreciation for him. First time we met i learnt he has met someone new. Until this point everything was good he was trying very hard to be rational so we can be friends.
I didn't take him dating again very well and became very clingy. Our attempt of being friends went out the window. I asked him back and was rejected.
He asked for 2 weeks of no communication. when that arrived he said he isn't sure and asked for more time, this time undetermined.
a week later he msned be we chatted... than we later i texted him... thinking maybe we can try now. I was wrong i asked him if he wanted more time and he said yes. few days i couldn't take it. I asked him for coffee and he agreed. but before i met him i ask. after the coffee do we go back to not communicating again. his reply. yes, and its going to be a very long time because he can't deal with us just being buddies again. A VERY LONG TIME
i was crushed. never actually went to the coffee and kinda stopped contacting him.
what do i do? i just can't deal with this idea of not communicating with him. he was my best friend as well. i feel like i lost two important ppl in my life. i can't wait a very long time for him. i just can't.
HELP
this was my first proper relationship. I made so many mistakes and learnt so much... and do want this guy to be happy. just can't him go.

N0help4u

Then it seems like you are playing volley ball with him
you want him back when he wants time but when he is ready to discuss it you want time.

flatron

yeah kinda. First he tried really hard to be friends than I ed up and now I am trying really hard to be friends.
The difference if when i have problems I like to go straight to source and try to deal with it.
Him... want the opposite. I am coming terms with it N0help4u. That he does need this time.
its ironic things which makes me happier makes him sadder and vice versa.
I gave him time 1 and half months. i think its time for both us to face reality and not run from it. or is this just pure self-fishiness. isn't not contacting just makes us even more apart?

flatron

Hey guys the problems been resolved. we had a long chat.
and he does want to be friends. and he made clear how me contacting him isn't helping.
so i am just going to stop contacting him and get over him.
i am pretty relieved.

COOKIE MONSTER

good im glad to hear your going to start no contact and get over him its the best thing you can do

flatron

it nearly been a month and i did contact him. once on msn but sure he have me blocked. and once this morning. they were not emotional or clingy so i am letting myself of the hook for them. i haven't been doing to well...
this movin on business is hard.
i though as time passing will help me realize he isn't coming back. But i am so convinced he will... i just keep lingering. i should be moving on... and if he does come back than start thinking of him again. grrrr whats wrong with me!!!

talaniman

Your broken hearted and have a hole in your soul, and it takes time to heal. Other than that.....................................your fine. Be patient with yourself as it will get better.

Sad Soul

You're convinced he's coming back and you will hold on to any signs that may seem like he will, because after a break up, your body and soul need those delusions for survival. The shock of somewhat losing a best friend can be detrimental on our mental health, so we tend to help our healing process by believing that our ex will come back (at least we believe this for a little while).

You're right. Moving on is damn hard. This is why you have to take your medicine, even if it doesn't taste good. You can't skip out on it either, because medication won't work otherwise. That is, you have to maintain "no contact" (your medicine) even if you don't enjoy it... you'll see that it'll work wonders with time.

Are there things you have to do? Books? Money? Looks (health)? Take this time you have in being single and focus on building the best "you" that you can. This breakup could be a blessing in many ways, if it means you actually have time to produce a stronger self. And in the process of improving (becoming happier with yourself and changing your perception on this whole ordeal), you'll be attracting MANY good people into your life. That's because everyone wants to be around happy, healthy and successful people. Trust me. You'll be fine, if you choose to be. Make the best decisions for "you" starting now.

flatron

taking day by day.
he will come back.
but wat kinda guy want to be with clingy person.
i have to move on... if i want any chance with this guy :P

Jiser

No contact, work on yourself. Give it time.

flatron

haha thanks guys.
just reading my previous posts i can see i have changed.
i am alot stronger now.
even though... i still mess things up by contacting.
but even the content of these have changed. I am asking him to chat or eg.
just asking about something he has shown me or thanking him. he didnt reply but i really don't care
i think since my mind is becoming better perhaps i should treat my exterior too.
thinking of joining the gym and doing some volunteer work.