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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   He is asking me not to communicate with him.

 
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Old Apr 12, 2008, 03:17 AM
flatron
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He is asking me not to communicate with him.

I broke up with over 2 months ago. Things were getting too complicated and serious. He was 27, me 22. I am young to settle down so I backed off. Because I couldn't see this working out this time around. I have told him this all the reason why I am breaking up with him. Which has nothing to do with him but the things I need to face to be with him.
i went overseas and had a rebound relationship for a month. But we still kept in contact nearly daily bases. And some flirty things were said like i told him "i miss him" "i want to kiss him" and he said "wish things worked out" "he keeps checking his phone to see i texted" and "he missed me"
When I came back I knew I wanted him back and learned a greater appreciation for him. First time we met i learnt he has met someone new. Until this point everything was good he was trying very hard to be rational so we can be friends.
I didn't take him dating again very well and became very clingy. Our attempt of being friends went out the window. I asked him back and was rejected.
He asked for 2 weeks of no communication. when that arrived he said he isn't sure and asked for more time, this time undetermined.
a week later he msned be we chatted... than we later i texted him... thinking maybe we can try now. I was wrong i asked him if he wanted more time and he said yes. few days i couldn't take it. I asked him for coffee and he agreed. but before i met him i ask. after the coffee do we go back to not communicating again. his reply. yes, and its going to be a very long time because he can't deal with us just being buddies again. A VERY LONG TIME
i was crushed. never actually went to the coffee and kinda stopped contacting him.
what do i do? i just can't deal with this idea of not communicating with him. he was my best friend as well. i feel like i lost two important ppl in my life. i can't wait a very long time for him. i just can't.
HELP
this was my first proper relationship. I made so many mistakes and learnt so much... and do want this guy to be happy. just can't him go.

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Old Apr 12, 2008, 09:32 PM   #11  
Jesushelper76
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I think it is stop contacting him. Get over it and move on. You are the one that broke it off, along with other decisions. Can not blame the guy.
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Old Apr 12, 2008, 09:43 PM   #12  
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yeah definitely its a lesson i need to learn.
we broke up in good terms. I told him I am not ready for him and I do still like him very much. I know he isn't trying to hurt me or anything. He is genuinely a nice guy.
I have learnt I the rational reasons for which i have broke up with him was silly and should have listened to my emotions. it was a mutual break up. I brought it up and he agreed. it really was a nice break up. Chatting to each other straight after and on. Until I got angry with him for moving on. And i realized there maybe no future for us. Stupidly this only hit me than. Yes I have to face the consequences but he never said we can never be together again. He just said he didn't know.
I don't blame the guy. I don't think he didn't anything wrong. I just want the guy back.
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 05:08 AM   #13  
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Quote:
I just want the guy back.
He doesn't want to come back though.
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 05:10 AM   #14  
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She's not on the same planet as us i don't think

she cant get the hint that he doesn't want her i wish he would just bloody tell her n put her out her misery

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s_cianci agrees: I think he has told her.
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 06:17 AM   #15  
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lol..this is the reason I rarely revisit a post. I advise and move on if the post chooses to follow the advise is beyond me. I get the feeling some people already make the bad decision and they just want someone to reinforce it.
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 06:30 AM   #16  
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Kevin_s agrees: I think this is good for the beginning, but she doesn't need to put the work in for him to know she is going to be there for him. He needs to be the one to want that, not her.

She doesn't need to and should not put any work in. Just a simple last sentence so he knows she is doing NC on good terms.

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flatron agrees: i agree. but easy said than done lol.
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 03:22 PM   #17  
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nc?
Hmm advises are getting kinda attacking. Thank you cookie monster for your time but i don't really want to hear from you.
i can get hints when someone doesn't want me. The situation is little different. We did talk about getting back together in the future. We remained friends. And even after the breakup all he has done is trying to make things easy for me.

What i want at the moment isn't a relationship with him. I am trying to become friends with him. He is in a relationship and I need to respect that.
Like I said we were friends straight after for a month or so until he started dating again. I just want to go back to then. for now.
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 03:26 PM   #18  
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nc means no contact
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 03:30 PM   #19  
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she says they are getting back together.
she thinks we are attacking her with no contact.
Wonder how serious he is about getting back together since she says they now are getting back together.
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Old Apr 13, 2008, 03:34 PM   #20  
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actually i appreciated your comment N0help4u.
and no we aren't getting back together now.
and yes, i told him i need time to think about what he said and will back to him when i am ready. my last few contacts were:
1) few questions that i wanted him to think about, for his benefits.
2) a link that he would be interested in.

my plan is to not contact for a month or so. and see how things have changed.
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