I had a breakup about 7 months ago. We were together for 3 years. Ended out of the blue, just said " he didnt want to be with me anymore" and other things. I mean really, it was not out of the blue because he had to be thinking about it for some time. IN any case, we fought alot after, and did not talk for maybe 2 months, he started to contact me again online, just regular chat, which i was ok with, as long as we didn't get into detailed conversation. He was mean to be for months and afte that break of not talking, he was actually very pleasant to me. He came to my city last night and asked me to go out with him and his best friend. I felt alittle weird about it, but I felt I was over it, and I could see him just as friends. It was a nice time, laughing and stuff. There were also other people there. Some guy who likes me was talking to me for a little while, and my ex was just staring. I felt that i could not do that even though he broke my heart, I did not want to give the impression it was for jealousy, so I went and was With my ex and his friend the whole night. He was nice to me, hugging me and stuff. He went to stay at his friends house at night, and in the morning we went to breakfast. Me and him it was really nice, like when were together but no kissing or anything. He was talking about some else in a relationship and said " well its hard to get over someone you love when you don't have anyone else". I do not know if he was refering to me or myself. There was alot of eye contact and nice coversation. He gave me a huge hug when we left also. I think i am just confused about him wanting to see me, and being nice to me and everything? I am not sure if I feel that way but its confusing, any opinions? thanks.

Chery

You asked for ideas and opinions, here's mine. He was stroking his EGO big time. After yelling at you and breaking up, which gave him the feeling of power, then when you were at dinner, he gave you looks when you saw a guy you liked, he's still in the power chair and he knows it. Some people get off by being like this, pulling themselves up when others are down. He also had to have a witness to the fact. This is my opinion and if I were you I'd not contact him or let him contact you again. He was not being nice to you, he was being nice to himself and proving that you still cared....All the other comments he made proved to him that he thought you had no one and were still willing to give him another chance, which stroked his EGO again. Email him one more time, telling him thanks for the show of power and that you did not appreciate it at all, that you were testing him to see if he had grown up (even if this was not your idea) and he proved that he did not grow one iota, therefore to strike you out of his 'contact list' forever. I know this will hurt you but you'll be better off without people like him. There are enough people in the world that pull themselves up from pain of others and you don't need that type at all. There is nothing you did wrong, and you don't deserve a person like that, so start over with someone who gives you more respect. Believe me, there is a lid for every pot, but he's not the one for you. You will find the right one in due time. Until then enjoy a good book, friends, movies, comedy by all means, and learn some self-respect back. Good Luck to you and keep us posted.

s_cianci

Just continue to play it cool and don't develop any specific hopes or expectations. You've pretty much been doing everything right so far so just keep at it. Only one thing ; don't avoid talking to people you genuinely like in his presence for fear of making him jealous. If your intentions with the other person are honorable then you're not acting out of malice or spite. If he gets jealous then that's his problem. After all, he broke up with you, right? He made his choices and all choices have consequences. He's got to deal with the consequences of his choices just the same as everyone else.

one_life

Hey, about the comment he made that is hard to get over someone because he has no one at the moment is crazy. So basicly what he saying is that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence so he wants to hop back.
I personly believe that this whole thing about showing attention to your ex(after he or she dumbed you), is about control. I hate to say it, but some dumpers do feel the rush and power out of dumping you. They get this sudden feel knowing that they cause you the pain.

Some dumpers come back for the exact some reason, they want to if they still have control over you. It is not because they want to rekindle the relationship. They toy and play with you. Be careful on this one. Walk on ege shells. We do not want to see you get hurt again. It will be hard, but thread lightly on this on ok.