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I have to stop her from marrying him!

Asked Apr 27, 2010, 10:05 AM — 32 Answers
My friend is in her early 20's. The guy she's been having and on again off again relationship with has been in and out of jail. He is also in his early 20's.

She would cry and tell me how controlling he is, how he put her down. I don't know if there has been any physical abuse, but verbal yes. He's just not a nice guy, he just manipulates her, and she is just so pathetic with him-- she tells me to watch what I say around him... She reminds me of me when I was in that disgusting relationship.

So today I got the big news, they are getting married this fall.

I've been friends with her for ages, I mean we were in diapers together, hearing this made me cry. I need to stop the wedding. I need to get her to realize what a big mistake she's making. The funny and ironic thing about all this is that she did the same thing to me before I married jerk-wad.


Help..

32 Answers
J_9's Avatar
J_9 Posts: 37,059, Reputation: 25665
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#31

Jun 11, 2010, 06:35 AM


Sarah, I am going to admit from the get go that I have not read the entire thread, but just got the gist of it.

It seems as though this is an abusive situation, I don't know about physically, but it sounds as though it may be at least emotionally, verbally, or mentally.

Unfortunately you have done all you can. Let her know that she can talk to you, and that your offer still stands. However, if she does ever take you up on your offer, you have to set some boundaries. Unfortunately, you need to set those boundaries NOW. I know it's hard to do, but it has to be done if she ever decides that she does want help.
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poeticmelody's Avatar
poeticmelody Posts: 23, Reputation: 35
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#32

Jun 11, 2010, 06:43 AM
Why do girls like bad-boys? Really confuddles me :/

Anyway, I think the only thing you can do is to talk to her.
You have to make her see what an idiot he is-would she really want to have children with a man like that one day? How would he be with them?
I suppose, you have to be very careful though because otherwise you may lose your friendship, and that is the last thing we want.
Be gentle but firm, straight forward and honest, and above all, just be there for her.
Friends are forever, well that is the idea anyway.

I hope it all goes well. Good luck and take care x
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J_9's Avatar
J_9 Posts: 37,059, Reputation: 25665
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#33

Jun 11, 2010, 06:46 AM


Quote:
Originally Posted by poeticmelody View Post
Why do girls like bad-boys? Really confuddles me :/

Anyway, I think the only thing you can do is to talk to her.
You have to make her see what an idiot he is-would she really want to have children with a man like that one day? How would he be with them?
I suppose, you have to be very careful though because otherwise you may lose your friendship, and that is the last thing we want.
Be gentle but firm, straight forward and honest, and above all, just be there for her.
Friends are forever, well that is the idea anyway.

I hope it all goes well. Good luck and take care x
Please read the ENTIRE thread before responding. She's already talked to her, your advice is too late.
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