I have a bf of 1 year. I met someone. and I cheated!
Okay, so based on my past questions, I'm sure most of you already know me. So I have been going out.. Or have been in a serious relationship with this really NICE guy for a year now. Lately, it has been getting pretty boring (sexually, mentally, etc). We have been fighting more often... Mainly because I keep seeing things in him that are starting to bug me so much. Things that were not such a big deal before - but now, it is really turning me off. (TAKE NOTE: I have been feeling this way even before I cheated) It's a little sensitive, but his family has some financial issues, and as the eldest son, he works and works to provide for his dad & 3 younger sisters. I found it very responsible and nice at first, but now that we're getting serious.. It's starting to really bug me since I do not foresee him to be able to save up for our marriage, our future house, etc at the rate he is going. He is forced to pay the electric bill, the house rent, food, etc because his dead beat Dad keeps spending money elsewhere (we still cannot figure out if the dad has a mistress on the side that he is supporting our what.) Anyways, for months, I have been trying my best to put everything at the back of my mind. I would always keep my mouth shut just so we would not fight about their financial situation and I know that it is a touchy subject. When he would ask me for advice, I tried to give him my 2 cents on the matter - on how I felt his family was abusing him. His two younger sisters already have job, but 90% of the bills/expenses come from my BF's hard earned money. IT’S too much already. They are literally mooching off of him and depending on him for everything. I told him just that, but he got TOTALLY defensive. Ever since then I decided to shut up about it. About 2 months ago, I got re-located to another department, which is like 45 mins away from my original office. Naturally, I was a new face (and may I say I am not at all ugly - or so guys tell me I'm pretty hot -- Hehehe.. Just so you guys get the picture).. So anyways, I was a pretty hot topic and head turner at my new office location. This one guy who I was told was "into me" and was asking about me - was introduced to me by one of new colleagues. This guys kept on trying to make conversation with me by saying "Wow you're doing OVERTIME again?".. But I kept ignoring him politely by saying: "Uh, yeah, I have to.." Eventually, the colleague that introduced us started to tease us PUBLICLY. It sort of got to me in a "high school crush" kind of way since this guy was my type. Please take note that I never cheated on my BF for a whole year. This new guy just knew how to push my buttons. The next thing I know, he was buying me lunch, bringing me snacks, helping me with some word processing stuff that was knew to me, etc. I eventually got to talking with him since we both smoke. We would always have our breaks together. I found out from a common friend that he has a 5 year GF, so I naturally avoided him, since I did not want to step on anyone's toes. He knew I had a BF too. So we just became cool, although, there was still ALOT of chemistry and SEXUAL TENSION. We both knew we liked each other ALOT ALOT, but could not do anything about it. One smoke break -- after about a week of trying to JUST BE FRIENDS, we finally ‘fessed up to each other's feelings. He told me he really enjoyed spending time with me, I felt the same way. I don't usually connect with guys that easy. I am very snobbish, especially when I know that guys are just trying to mack or hit on me. Anyways... In short... One thing led to another.. And now a month later.. We have both been cheating on our BF/GF. HELP! We are both in that stage where in we do not want to hurt all these people (GF/BF, GF/BF's family & friends) Too many people will get hurt. I guess on my end, I want to make sure he will be worth the risk. He is 5 years older than me btw, I am 24 years old. My current bf is 3 years older than me. What should I do?
What you should do i break up with your boyfriend regardless of how this works out with your roomate. You stated youself that you just want to make sure the new crush would be worth the risk. It just shows that you are no longer interested in your current boyfriend so the right thing to do would be to let him go find someone who he will be happy with.
If you care about your bf cut it of now! People fall in and out of love allthe time in relationships. Anything you find annoying in your bf you will find in new guy just different issues. This will just confuse yourfeelimgs for bf and soon u will only remember the bad. Starting over isnot always the best solution.
Any clue as to how the new guy really feels about me? I am still unsure.. I want to be sure. It sounds bad.. But who wants to be alone in the end.. right?.. What if I take the leap, and my new guy DOES not?
I don't think the question is "how does the new guy feel about you", but, instead, "how do you feel about yourself?"
You need to say goodbye to the 'official boyfriend' and 'new guy'. You need to learn who you are and how to make yourself happy. Until you do, you won't find a relationship that gives you anything close to what you want or need.
The new guy is cheating to be with you. If you did end up together, you would then have the trust issue of wondering about any female friends he has and if they are making a play for him or if he is bored and playing around. You are cheating to be with him. Same trust issues in reverse.
Any clue as to how the new guy really feels about me? I am still unsure.. I want to be sure. It sounds bad.. But who wants to be alone in the end.. right?.. What if I take the leap, and my new guy DOES not?
So you won't break up with your boyfriend until the new guy is secured in your clutches?
This may be the problem with your relationships.
Try being single for a while, find yourself, learn to love yourself. Don't rely on someone else to make you happy and make you feel complete.
It's not fair to your boyfriend, your lover or you.
My ex has the same problems, can't be single. It's impossible for her, so she just cheats from guy to guy.
There is no excuse to cheating or lying, it is just wrong. What feels good sometimes is wrong. My opinion, dump that new guy, tell your boyfriend, and let him decide whether he wants to stay with you or not.
I agree with Paxe...dump the new guy and tell your boyfriend whats been going on. The new guy most likely doesnt want a relationship- he just wants his cake and to eat it too. He's using you.
Clearly you are not willing right now to be in a relationship , since you cheated. People say sometimes oh but I don't know what got over me I was to weak , I find those excuses weak, not them. They know exactly whats going on and what they want. Granted people will change and become different with experience and time and I believe you could be one of those, but for now this is what you want and therefore you should be with neither of them because it isn't fair for anyone here
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