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    Hepburn11_'s Avatar
    Hepburn11_ Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 18, 2014, 02:31 AM
    I hate my boyfriend!
    Okay so acouple of weeks ago in class my boyfriend started flirting tlking with a girl.THis girl always tries it on him and he like a dog' alwayss replys.if he truly loved me he wldnt have made eye contact and replied to her.I know tons of boys who blanked me in the past.

    When I asked him he lied.now I let it go.but then we went shopping today in westfields.we wnt to see a movie as we came out he was looking at this sknny girl with a butt in a maxi dress.he wnted to go toilets and he forgot his way because he was too busy stareing at her.urghhhhh!I confronted him on the spot:) but then he shouted at me and squeezed my hand and said fid I look at her fffs he got really angry.then we got outside the mall and. He let go off my arm and literally 2 boys just starreed:(! I was so upsett I just cried on the spot I cldnt help it and there were literally loadss of people going past us and in front of us.he madee me cry in front of everyone.he didn't even hug me and told mee to stfu or going to call my parents house phone.bcz they don't know anything!

    I literally feel so heartbroken. He didn't buy me anything for my birthday on the 13 April. And I spent my birthday money on his clothes and glasses.

    He got his loan money in his account and I picked stuff out and he wasn't even happy to pay for it.I didn't even want them clothes anymore.he shouted urghhh lets just buy them alll!

    (This was bfre the Argumrnt)so yh that upsetted me even more. Probhaly why I cried? :/:(

    What do you guys think I shld do?. sorry about my spelling I am using my iPhone and the screen is cracked.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Apr 18, 2014, 02:40 AM
    Sorry to be mean, but you both sound about 12. I don't think either one of you is ready for a relationship.
    Jealousy is poison. Petty arguments and hurt over gifts and how money is spent is no way to prepare for real adulthood, when finances are literally a matter of a place to live and food on the table, versus being homeless.
    Learn how to talk to each other in sensible, caring, adult ways, or go your separate ways. 'Hate' and 'boyfriend' are mutually exclusive.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #3

    Apr 18, 2014, 05:26 AM
    Agreed. Blah to the drama. To have drama for drama's sake in a relationship is mind boggling. And since you two are in middle school you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.

    NOTE - if you aren't in middle school you two sure act like it.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #4

    Apr 18, 2014, 05:49 AM
    So, let me see if I get this right.

    He's in a relationship with you, but he can't make eye contact with another girl.

    He's in a relationship with you, so he must put blinders on and not even look at another girl.

    Is that right so far?

    Oh the DRAMA of middle school. So happy my 12 year old is more mature than this!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #5

    Apr 18, 2014, 05:50 AM
    I agree with what has been posted in reply so far.

    If you and your boyfriend were both 25, and doing the things you describe in your post, you would be described as needy, insecure, and dependent. His behavior toward you is a result of your behavior and expectations toward him. It is a toxic, unhealthy relationship when so much drama results in extremes, such as the meltdown at the mall. His immaturity and selfishness, does not indicate in any way, love, or a loving relationship, with you.

    See this as an example of the shortcomings of both of you, in entering a relationship together, that neither of you are ready for. You are simply too young, and do not have the life experience to even see what is happening.

    It is not a mark of success to have a boyfriend at your age. In fact, you fail at even seeing that spending your birthday money to make him happy, was a dumb thing to do. It didn't change him, or make him 'love' you more, or be more respectful, and your expectations of him (ignoring other girls) because you tried to buy him, didn't work either.

    Maturity means a couple has some measure of equality, respect, and the ability to be honest, self-assured, and confident while at the same time, trusting your partner, and him you.

    You are not yet old enough to even be out of the starting gate, let alone understand or have the ability to build a solid foundation, in order for a relationship to work.

    This will come with time. Switching boyfriends and having the same behavior as you do now, is a dangerous road to take. If all you know is what you ad (have), you are in for some serious trouble. Learn from this relationship that as you mature, your expectations will change, and relationships will be based not on jealousy and anger, but respect and independence.

    Stop with dating. Give yourself time to grow up, and not miss out on what should be a time for friends and fun. There will be, eventually, men in your future, not boys, and life will be very different.

    Learn from your mistakes, and this relationship, is nothing but a mistake. Cut your losses, and move on.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #6

    Apr 18, 2014, 06:16 AM
    He knows how to push all of your buttons apparently, and they work, so he may be just a tad more experienced (?) playing this game then you are. I can actually see his smirk, and his buddies can too and they know what he is doing because they have seen him in action before. He has perfected his game with the opposite sex.

    What should you do? Well, you sound quite young and judging from your reactions, not altogether ready to jump into the relationship game yet. Focus on the things you can handle for now like your school work, mingling with your friends and observing how others carry on.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Apr 18, 2014, 06:23 AM
    Cripes... this sounds more like grade school play acting than middle school.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #8

    Apr 18, 2014, 09:43 AM
    You both should break up and go your own way. This whole thing sounds like a mess.
    Anoni Mouse's Avatar
    Anoni Mouse Posts: 15, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Apr 18, 2014, 11:32 AM
    I have to agree: dump this guy pronto. Clearly he doesn't deserve you; you should never be with a guy who tells you to "stfu." That is simply unacceptable.

    In the future, perhaps it would be wise to let some things slide. Everyone flirts; it's human nature to know that you are still desirable. Obviously there is a huge line between flirting and cheating, and while cheating is never acceptable, flirting is pretty innocent.

    Also, the girl who is flirting with him is probably doing this to push your buttons, and she may even be jealous. The best way to get her back, and to get her to stop, is to act like you don't care and that you aren't threatened by her.

    I agree with Tickle, concentrate on your school work and yourself. If you build a respectable image for yourself, and in turn grow to respect yourself and hold yourself to high standards, you will attract higher quality guys who will treat you right.

    In the meantime, dump this loser and be selfish. Work on yourself and the things that matter, like getting good grades and developing a career for yourself.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #10

    Apr 18, 2014, 02:26 PM
    This will probably seem harsh to you.

    I think you are leaving a lot out of this story such as why he should be happy to pay for things you picked out. His loan money may have already been earmarked for things such as school or whatever he took the loan out for. Did he at any point say he was paying or did you assume that he was without talking to him? It was your choice to buy the clothes and glasses.

    Like the others, I see a lot of drama and I don't think he is the cause. It seems to me from what little you have said that he is responding to you. If you don't want the drama, don't create it.

    What you see as flirting may not be. Making eye contact may be frowned upon in some cultures but in others it is being an interested listener. Being friendly and talking to people is not necessarily flirting or looking for more than friendship. People can be friends even if they aren't of the same gender.

    If he got distracted by a rear-end in tight pants, so what? You could have said something later but you didn't. You confronted him and he reacted. What did you expect when you started an argument in a public place? I am going to guess that he tried to ask you to calm down before he got angry and you didn't. You started it and didn't like where it ended up because suddenly you weren't making a spectacle out him for looking a woman's rear-end. Instead you were the one being stared at.

    If you honestly hate him, let him go. If you want the relationship to work look at your own actions, see where you can improve and learn how to effectively communicate with him.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Apr 18, 2014, 03:13 PM
    Your title says it all. Cat and others said the rest.

    I won't get into your drama, and childish ways, that's already been covered.

    I'm focusing only on the title of your thread, which is "I hate my boyfriend". So what's to discuss? You hate him, so leave him. Why would you even have to ask what to do?

    Hate is a strong word. It's a word most people reserve for the worst of the worst of human beings. I hate Nazies, I hate bigots, I hate racists, I hate pedophiles. I'd never date someone I hate. Why are you ?

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