Hardest Life Decision i have to make

binx44 · #1 Jan 22, 2007, 06:54 AM

i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. My bf (of almost 6 years) and i have been on and off again for a few months now. and things had just gotten good again we worked on our problems and i was going to move back in in march or april when my lease ran out. Bull S&* got started (some girl said i gave her my number and wanted to um "do her" which never happened and never would to begin with. I was called a liar and a few other words and was told he never wanted to see me again. My things are packed that are still at his apartment. and an offer for a home in Alberta for 6 months has been offered to me. I love the man dearly. more than anything in the world. and our fights are ALWAYS stupid and we almost had everything worked out again so we knew each others feelings and everything. I pretty much decided to go to alberta. Until he called and apologised for saying what he said. that he shouldnt have said it at all but he was just that mad. I want to stay and work out things between us but at the same time i think we need some space for a while to see what we really want in life. So i dont know what to do.. My other problem that is embedded in that is that If I stay here in NS i can finish my schooling at Collage for free And if i go to alberta i have to be working to survive..

I dont know what to do and it hurts
I have until tonight at 4:30 to decide if i want to go. i've thought about it alot but i'm still utterly lost

Jesushelper76 · Jan 22, 2007, 07:06 AM

You yourself can only make that decision. I could tell you what I think I would do. Best thing is write a least of cons and pros for going and staying. Good way to make up your mind.
The question is are you willing to struggle a bit for moving to alberta? Like you said finishing your schooling at college in Nova Scotia is free. So why not take advantage of that. The opportunity for a move in the future is always possible. If there is a deadline, and they need a rushed decision, I personally think it is not a good idea.

Now about the boyfriend. If its always stupid fights and kicking you out and being messed up all the time. This time make a point that you need your own space and own time right now. You do not have to go to another province to avoid or have your own space without your boyfriend causing trouble.

Just some thoughts for you to consider and I hope everything works out for you no matter what decision you make.

Joe

Megg · Jan 22, 2007, 07:06 AM

Well id say stay there and try to work it out. Ppl make mistakes and say things when their mad. Thus is life. So, if he loves you and you him, stay. Why be away from someone you love? Also, if i heard that my lover was cheating or w/e id get pissed too. So, bare with him. It was a misuderstanding. Schooling is another important thing. Make sure you finish. Anyway, if he is abusive in any way leave in that case. If he put's you down also leave or give yourself some space. However, if everything is alright other than his being mad bout this, just forget it and stay. Hell i say stuff to my fiance once and awhile, doesn't mean i dont love him. I'm human i make mistake's. If anyone trys to tell you that you guys need space tell them to bugger off. I mean, only YOU know that baseed on your life together.

binx44 · Jan 22, 2007, 07:09 AM

he said he couldnt trust me any more because of it. he said if i didnt just tell the truth then it was most likely that i gave my number out to a bunch of ppl for sex.. i dont know if it was the anger thats making him say it or what.

Hes not abusive but he sure can be a at times

Jesushelper76 · Jan 22, 2007, 07:15 AM

Focus on the schooling. You are getting it free through college, I think you should take advantage of that.

As far as the way your boyfriend talks to you that is emotional abuse. You know what they say the people who are the most paranoid and accuses about cheating all the time are probably cheaters themselves and just trying to take attention a way from themselves.

I did not say it, but Tal did. Kick this guy to the curb. He is not worth it.

Joe

binx44 · Jan 22, 2007, 07:18 AM

*sighs* why does it all seem so complicated from my point of view. why is life so hard like this

Megg · Jan 22, 2007, 07:26 AM

well like i said ppl say crap when there mad. Ppl make mistakes. My relationship is just fine, but i say crap and so does he once and a while. We say things when were mad. He said sorry what more do u want? It's honestly not a hard choce. Where your heart is is where your home is. Just b/c things get hard or confussing your going to run away? NO...if ya do that you'll never be happy. So w/e...lol i mean ive done a lot of crap but i still am in a good relationship b/c im human and im working on it. So yall shoud do the same, or else you may be alone in misery for your life. He could be the one ur ment to be with, but b/c he messed up ur gunna say bye bye?? I dont get it...

Jesushelper76 · Jan 22, 2007, 07:28 AM

That is why it is good to get an opinion from an outside person. A third view. It is important because others are able to see things so much more clearly because we are so objective when it comes to looking at somebody elses situation.

We are trying to help and guide you so that until your thinking more clearly you will be guided to do what is best for you and your future.

Life is not hard, It is only hard if you make it that way.

Joe

binx44 · Jan 22, 2007, 07:35 AM

no i dont want to just say good bye. its just i feel like he needs his space.. and so do i.. and the reason i was considering alberta is because i am a certified bartender and its been so rough getting a job out here to save up money so we can do things with out lives.. i dont want to say good bye to him but at the same time i cant handle being dumped and kicked out and then asked back just to have him do it again.... I want to be with him but so many ups and downs are getting hard. he says he loves me, and i do love him with all my heart. just back deep down inside i feel like maybe we rushed into too much too quick. we met when i was 14 turning 15 i am 20 now. our 6th anniversary would have been in april. Besides the last 4 months we lived together for 3 of those years.. i just cant help but feel i pushed things too quick for bolth of us or something along those lines



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