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well it has been a while since if been on this site, but i guess i need it again.
So my Gf and i split about 5 and a half months ago now, and i cant seem to get my life back on track.
ive gone through phazes where everything is fine, but without fail, everynight before i go to bed she pops into my head again, i just cant help it, its driving me nuts.
i have been NC for over 3 months, but i still think about her.
sometimes (like tonight) it gets to the point where i just dont want to go to bed at night, because i know as soon as i turn the light off she's there... thats why i am posting this at 2:10am...
so anyway i guess i just need some advice as to how i can get on with my life, i want to be happy again...
this is so common after a break up Believe me you are not alone (just go through the dating forums!!). Everyone has good days and then a bad day. Sometimes you are feeling awesome and hey i never needed that person anyway then you hear a song or something reminds you of them and bam you feel like you are back at square one. we have all been there and man is it rotten.
keep going no contact that is the only path to healing. just keep plugging along it will eventually get easier and in no time you will be able to look back on the relationship fondly but without the emotional attachment.
Are you finding other things to do? Have you tossed yourself into hobbies, friends and family? I always find thats the best after a breakup. I would just completely get absorbed so that I would have no time to think about him. I even started a ton of new hobbies and began dating again - that was actually a big helper it made me see there are other people out there and I will find someone else.
yeah i hear ya
the no contact thing is no problem, i do not have any feeling for her anymore whatsoever, i know that it is over and has been for a long time
ive done all of the above but cant seem to shake the thoughts, and sometimes dreams of her.
i wanna get back into the dating scene, but its so hard to find someone with substance at nightclubs... plus im so outta practice i dunno how to 'play the field' anymore!
i just have ta keep pluggin away....
Hello my friend, It's been 6.5 months since my ex fiance broke up with me again. And it's been about 3 months also for me with NC. I am not as bad as you because I have come to terms with her out of my life for ever but as Glinda said everyone has good and bad days. I went probally 2 weeks feeling very good about myself, then my dad mentioned he saw my ex at a car show. He didn't talk to her but when he brought her name up a week ago I have been thinking alot about her. You are not alone, but think possitive and stay busy that seems to work the best.
I actually avoided the bar and nightclub scene like the plague. Instead I found I was meeting quality people through friends and through activities. Open your eyes surely there is someone cute around.
Meet and date new people. Take up a new skill or hobby (or dust off an old one.) Go to a gym and work out. Join a club. Take a vacation. Do things to keep your time and mind occupied. That's the best way to get on with your life and be happy.
i have come to terms with this, but i still feel crap... maybe its the loneliness, i dunno
Although I have come to terms sometimes I feel like crap too. And I kind of agree with you, I think it is loneliness, and maybe that why I been thinking of her more.
The loneliness is cruel. So you are over her during the day?
You could try staying out all night, and just before sunrise, go to bed - only if you are super tired. You probably won't dream about her then. Of course, if you work the next day it will be difficult. Try it on a weekend when you don't have to work - just exhaust the heck out of yourself to where you cannot think.
If this sounds too drastic, try staying so active normally, that you go to bed too tired to 'ponder' on things.
Find something or someone to help you take your mind off completely.
Exercising and being around people who pursue interests similiar to yours, is a good way to meet new people and the people they know. Be open to new things, and do some research as to the activities and functions in your area. I think once you get into a comfortable lifestyle, and make friends and find your own happiness, you will attract those like yourself, and share that happiness. Volunteer work is still the best way to forget about your own problems, and doing for others that can't do for themselves, will give the ego a blast and the self esteem a boost. After a while the dreams and thoughts of the ex will lose their power over you.
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