Interest Level - The Secret to Creating Attraction
By Bogie62
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You Like Her First... Big Mistake
A common theme in many of the threads in the Lounge goes like this, "I like this girl, how do I get her to like me?" The guy has been smitten by the love bug and now seeks advice on how to win her affections. No matter what advice is provided, the guy is already at a huge disadvantage.
Believe it or not, much of the art of seduction is control. I don't mean rugged male domination, but rather the ability to gain willing compliance. A woman is attracted to a man who is able to control himself and others, specifically her. There is a subtle tug-of-war that occurs between the guy and the girl, each testing the other in an attempt to gain the upper hand of control.
If the girl wins this battle, she'll put the guy in the friend zone and not consider him a potential sexual mate. The reason is simple; if he can't control her, he won't be strong enough to protect her. And protection is the most important attraction trigger in females. All the characteristics that women desire, such as confidence, leadership, etc., are just indicators of the man's ability to protect his mate. In the end, it all boils down to protection. It is hardwired through thousands of years of evolution and no female can change or control it, no matter how much they may deny it.
Why He's At A Disadvantage
He is disadvantaged because he has already lost control of the interaction. His emotional attachment is a powerful tool she will use to gain control over him. She'll make request and he'll jump at the chance to comply. He wants to impress and please her, but he unknowingly is giving her control and destroying his chance of seducing her.
Why do his efforts to impress and please her ultimately turn her off and put him in the friend zone?
If she can quickly and easily seduce his emotions, how resistant can he be to other females? If she chooses him as a sexual mate, she may easily lose his protection to another, more seductive female. If she can easily seduce him, so can other females, therefore he is not a strong potential mate.
This is why a lot of experts on attraction stress the importance of not showing too much interest too early in the seduction process. Your emotional feelings of desire are actually a display of weakness if revealed in the early stages of the seduction.
Her Interest Level Should Seem Higher Than Your Interest Level
If you want to win a girl over, you don't do it by showing how attracted you are to her. In fact, you should display a level of attraction that is slightly less than that shown by the girl. You always want her to perceive that she is slightly more attracted to you than you are to her. She should always believe that she has slightly more emotional investment in the relationship than you do.
This objective accomplishes two important things. rtant things. First, it puts her in a position to take the lead in the seduction. The art of seduction is the ability to get HER to seduce YOU. Once you create a small level of attraction in her, you encourage her to gradually escalate by staying one step behind her in emotional attachment. That is what we mean by YOU becoming the prize she must win. You are the prize because she has the greater investment. Whoever is less emotionally invested has control.
Secondly, her greater emotional investment helps to assure her continued participation in the seduction. If the seduction ends, she loses more than you because she has more invested. She is subconsciously compelled to continue. And the only way the seduction can continue is by escalating. As long as you maintain an emotional level slightly less than hers, she will automatically and subconsciously pull you through the whole process and right into her bed.
Hook A Set - Hook Your Target
There are two important events I look for in my interactions… two important hooks. The first is when I hook a set. When I enter a group of people that includes a girl I want to seduce, my first objective is to hook that set. The hook is the turning point where the group would rather have me there interacting with them than have me leave. In essence, it is the moment I become wanted by the group.
The second important event is when I hook my target. That is the moment when I have created enough interest and attraction in her that she is willing to display that attraction. It is the moment that I become wanted by her, not as a member of the group, but as an individual. Both of these events occur very quickly in the process. The set should be hooked within five minutes and the target should be hooked within fifteen minutes.
Once you have hooked your target, the game is really over unless you make a drastic error. She will lead the seduction from that point forward if you give her the chance. But remember, she will only lead as long as she believes she has more invested than you.
To summarize, if you start the seduction with a higher emotional investment, you begin at a huge disadvantage. Your emotional attachment will be used as weapon against you in the battle for control. Early displays of attraction are viewed as weakness that will usually turn her off, because if she can win you over easily, so can others. Always display a level of attraction that is slightly less than that displayed by your female target. As long as she believes that she has more invested than you, she will remain in the game and even take the lead.
Good Luck!
Bogie62
Good article, men and women just need that extra know-how on the way to tell someone that they like them.
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