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lola64 · Mar 10, 2009, 11:07 AM

Hi all,
I just was reading a thread on here regarding a jealous boyfriend... which made me have some of my own thoughts.
Let's have a discussion regarding our view points on 'good' vs. 'bad' jealousy.. is there such a thing, or is it all 'bad' or unhealthy? Any opinions?
Much appreciated! Might help us all identify some 'red flags' early on and avoid having to come on here to vent about more breakups! Lol

Romefalls19 · Mar 10, 2009, 11:11 AM

Good jealousy - Occasionally getting a little flustered about something another does to your partner.

Bad jealousy - text terrorism about what they are doing, who they are with, how long they have been there, what they are wearing, if they talked to them, who they talked to, what was said, then asking again later what was said. Throwing a temper tantrum about something little. Pretty much anything where you make an a$$ out of yourself

jmw0713 · Mar 10, 2009, 12:29 PM

A little jealousy goes a loooooooooong way. It can easily get out of hand and be detrimental to the relationship.

My thought is, the less jealousy the better. I know that sometime people play around and act jealous, when they are not. That is different.

kctiger · Mar 10, 2009, 12:53 PM

Bad jealousy: When your feelings of insecurity are turning into controlling behavior... if you let it run your relationship, it is BAD

I wouldn't define jealousy as good, necessarily, but understandable and even expected at certain times.

artlady · Mar 10, 2009, 01:06 PM

We all know how jealously can lead to outrageous behavior.People kill people in jealous rages.Basically I would say it's a useless emotion that should be avoided at all costs.
But and its a big one..
The jealously we feel when we see our loved ones flirting is a different situation.Then we may have a valid reason and that self defense mechanism is doing its job.Making us open our eyes to the possibility of a potential cheating scenario.

akalea10 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:10 PM

Well speaking of jealousy, just broke up with a boyfriend due to it. LOL In my opinion, good jealousy is a response to a situation with a non threatening reactions. For example: if you catch someone looking at your bf/gf and you automatically hold your bf/gf's hand to show they belong to you. I would think this is sweet. A bad jealousy is when you treat your bf/gf as an enemy. LOL remember, he/she should always be on your side. There shouldn't be any threats, accusing or attacking anyone. After all they are your bf/gf and you need to TRUST them.

These are just some examples. Im sure there are more but this what comes to my mind at the moment. =)

mudweiser · Mar 10, 2009, 01:16 PM

Bad jealousy is when your other half resembles the ones on the posts on AMHD =) tehee

MRS.S

makapuu · Jul 5, 2009, 11:41 AM

I used to get really jealous when my boyfriend's ex's would call him. They always called for birthdays and holidays and it seemed they also wanted to know if he was single. I used to hear him say, "we're still together" as a response to whatever they asked. I would then get some hints that they were planning to take him out to lunch for his birthday.
My boyfriend thought nothing of it, until I told him how much it upset me. My boyfriend reassured me that I have nothing to worry about. That's all I needed to make my jealousy go away. I know, and trust my boyfriend. I can't stop his ex's from calling and inviting him out.

Catsmine · Jul 5, 2009, 11:52 AM

Jealousy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jealousy consists of negative reactions to perceptions, actual or imaginary. This is never good. It either leads to or stems from some insecurity within oneself.

s_cianci · Jul 5, 2009, 12:05 PM

Any form of "jealousy" is bad and unhealthy. And having a partner you don't feel you can trust is unhealthy. Jealousy is a by-product of a lack of trust. When you trust someone, there's no need to be jealous. When you don't trust someone, then there's issues that need to be addressed. If the mistrust is unfounded and due simply to your own insecurities, then that's one set of issues. If the mistrust is in fact grounded in reality because the other person has proven him/herself untrustworthy, that's another set of issues. Either way, jealousy is just a symptom, not the actual disease.

dee girl · Feb 19, 2010, 05:15 PM

I think jealousy is a bad thing. I know it by experienced, well everithing happened like this I met this guy since freshman year and like him since then, he liked me too. We decided to tell how we felt about each other on sophomore year. Everything was going really good. But then he started to change I didn't really know what was going on with him. But then I realized it was his jealousy he didn't want me talking to guys nor to my girlfriends he wanted to control me in every way you can think of. That was really affecting me I was getting depressed.