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    codeblue01's Avatar
    codeblue01 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 17, 2007, 10:53 PM
    Girlfriend's ex boyfriend won't leave her alone
    My girlfriend of a few months now has a psycho ex-boyfriend that can't get over the fact that she dumped him and he STILL believes they are destined to be together. They dated for two years and were pretty serious. He still calls and has even followed us on a date before to try and talk to her. He is a real jerk. I don't know what to do and it is making me very angry and uncomfortable to know he won't go away. Me and my girlfriend were so meant for each other and we both realize that. We have a VERY strong relationship and we want to keep moving forward. It bothers me that he still talks about her and won't leave her alone. She doesn't like him, yet she won't do anything major to make him go away. She just continues to tell him she's moved on and she is never getting back with him but he doesn't believe it. He is stupid. She tells him to quit calling but he still does. She left him for a reason and she knows she has someone special with me. I thought he would eventually drop it but it still continues. I can't get rid of this mosquito and don't know what to do.
    SBowman's Avatar
    SBowman Posts: 71, Reputation: 6
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    #2

    Feb 17, 2007, 11:22 PM
    Talk to his parents.

    Or better yet, restraining order.
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #3

    Feb 18, 2007, 03:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by codeblue01
    She doesn't like him, yet she won't do anything major to make him go away.
    There is the source of your problem. Until she is willing to solve it you have two choices--put up with it or sit it out until she does solve it. Since she is the target of the harassment, she (or if a minor, her parents) will have to take the necessary legal actions. Please don't buy into what a victim she is of her ex, and don't you volunteer to be her victim either. Sometimes a "call me when you get this cleared up" goes a looooong way for motivation, you know?
    ForeverZero's Avatar
    ForeverZero Posts: 312, Reputation: 82
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    #4

    Feb 18, 2007, 07:11 PM
    I've considered myself fairly desperate for my ex at times, but I have to say, I'd never follow her on a date in an attempt to talk to her. I'd encourage her to do something drastic to end this, starting with changing her number and things like that. How did he know where to find you two when you were dating? I suspect she's doing her fair share of contributing to this problem.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Feb 18, 2007, 07:21 PM
    If she will take no action then leave her alone as she must be as psycho as he is.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Feb 18, 2007, 08:20 PM
    She answers the phone when he calls. She talks to him when he follows you on dates. She won't do anything major to make him go away.

    Sounds to me as though your problem is not necessarily with the ex, but more with your girlfriend. She needs to take some action or in my opinion you need to take the action of moving on!

    I wonder what she says to him on the phone when your not around??
    rolfen's Avatar
    rolfen Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 18, 2008, 05:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by codeblue01
    My girlfriend of a few months now has a psycho ex-boyfriend that can't get over the fact that she dumped him and he STILL believes they are destined to be together. They dated for two years and were pretty serious. He still calls and has even followed us on a date before to try and talk to her. He is a real jerk. I don't know what to do and it is making me very angry and uncomfortable to know he won't go away. Me and my girlfriend were so meant for each other and we both realize that. We have a VERY strong relationship and we want to keep moving forward. It bothers me that he still talks about her and won't leave her alone. She doesn't like him, yet she won't do anything major to make him go away. She just continues to tell him she's moved on and she is never getting back with him but he doesn't believe it. He is stupid. She tells him to quit calling but he still does. She left him for a reason and she knows she has someone special with me. I thought he would eventually drop it but it still continues. I can't get rid of this mosquito and don't know what to do.
    I am tempted to say that you're the jerk here. You're disrespecting that other guy... and he was in your exact position 2 years ago.
    You might be next... who knows... she might also dump you, and then you'll remember that poor guy... there must be a reason for him to follow her like that.. have some compassion.
    busterite's Avatar
    busterite Posts: 156, Reputation: 30
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Aug 19, 2008, 02:53 AM
    I think it is your girlfriend who needs ot deal with this here. There must be a reason why he still has hope. Are you sure she has told him all the stuff you think she has? How long after she dumped him did you guys start dating? I am saying this because I had started going out with my ex 3 months after she had broken up with her ex boyfriend. She never broke contact with the guy and were good friends although we were going out for 3 years and although she knew it made me feel awkward, and I know for a fact that he is still obsessed with her and even after 3 years would want to get back together with her. The bottom line is after 3 years she cheated on me and left me for someone else. I have broken any contact with her because I know that 3 years down the line I don't want to be obsessing with someone that hurt me like that. She is still trying to contact me but I leave her calls and texts unanswered, I know she still wants to keep the door open although she is now going out with the guy she cheated on me with. I am not saying that your girlfriend is like that, Im just saying that you shouldn't be too fast to draw conclusions. Make sure you know the whole story. But at the end of the day she is the one that needs to deal with this.
    RUSThammer's Avatar
    RUSThammer Posts: 5, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #9

    Nov 5, 2008, 04:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by rolfen View Post
    I am tempted to say that you're the jerk here. You're disrespecting that other guy... and he was in your exact position 2 years ago.
    You might be next... who knows... she might also dump you, and then you'll remember that poor guy... there must be a reason for him to follow her like that.. have some compassion.

    I second that!
    I wld have tried to do everythign possible to get my ex back... why not!
    Dude.. u r a jerk!
    I bet u have been going around right after she broke off with him... prolly she broke off with him for u I guess.

    She wld have been telling him to be there and maybe things will be OK... and then to cover her.. she wld tell u a different story all together... u will end up bad.. man...

    What goes around comes around :)
    razr's Avatar
    razr Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Nov 23, 2008, 02:41 AM
    My god and I thought I was the only one! :eek: You won't believe my story. This is the story of two people in love, and a psycho keeping us apart!

    I'm not sure what kind of relationship they had before. I never bothered to ask her and personally it was none of my business. She told me "I'm done with him" and I trusted her. But he just doesn't get it, and for some reason she just won't tell him OFF!

    The problem arises with one of her friends who's very good friends with him. He's been asking her about me and what I do with her, and I think she tells him everything, because he knew WAY too much! I wanted to say something, but I couldn't prove anything and I didn't want to insult her (never blame her friends... or your done!).

    Anyway we've been good friends for about 4/5 months now and I've already mentioned to her how I feel. I was kind of quick no doubt, and was expecting her response to be a 50/50 thing, and that's exactly what I got along with "slow down your going to fast". I understood. She wanted time to understand me. Right? WRONG!

    Now, the fun begins this month when the psycho found out (probably from her friend) that she's "getting close" with someone new. I've given her some advice into dealing with this clown, but have never personally gotten involved. It has nothing to do with me, plus I'm not technically her "boyfriend". Plus, she is quite capable of handling herself, but in this particular situation she seems lost!

    I've been really patient and supportive, but how much longer could this crap keep up? I wanted to move forward but she wouldn't nudge and I began to think it was this issue which was stopping her. She knew who I was, but I think is worried about him or maybe still has feelings for him, god knows.

    As they say patience is a virtue, so I waited... waited until last week!

    What happened last week crossed the line! The psychopath decided not only confront her a few times but also called her up and yelled at her that she was making a mistake with me. He then lied to her that I was cheating on her and spreading lies about her with other people. Total BS!

    What really made my blood boil was that she was trying actually to defend herself saying "he's coming after me...". Who is he in the first place to even answer too was my question! And the sad thing was... she actually believed him too! :mad: That honestly ticked me off and I began thinking that maybe these two are much closer than I had originally thought.

    After the call the psychopath showed up at my flat and tried to fight me in the middle of the night! LITERALLY! Nothing really happened he was trying to instigate a fight and threatened me to stay away. I didn't want to do anything, the urge was there believe me but I didn't fall for his trap.

    I tried to talk to her the next day, but she wouldn't even talk to me! For 3 days I waited and then gave it another try. Eventually I got to her, and after explaining that it was all lies and rumours she finally realized.

    Believe me this isn't over yet, exams are coming up soon too so that's why we've both put this "on hold" but I'm sure this isn't the last I've heard from her or him.

    Right now I'm really confused and angry, I know what I have to do (dump her, and beat him up) but I'm giving it a little more time. I really like her and I'm just that type of guy that won't stop at nothing until I get it (unless she tells me off otherwise).

    My Advice:
    If you find out a clowny EX is following her/him around or harassing her then tell her straight up what she needs to do, otherwise just leave her. Don't make the same mistake I did otherwise you'll also be getting knocks on the door at 3am in the morning.

    Stay tuned for more... :rolleyes:
    High Max's Avatar
    High Max Posts: 271, Reputation: 43
    Full Member
     
    #11

    Nov 23, 2008, 04:51 AM

    I had a few punks threatening me saying that they were going to come over to my house after my breakup. Telling them I had my 12 gauge ready for anyone who wanted to come over did the trick nicely and stopped further calls.
    eduman12's Avatar
    eduman12 Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #12

    Aug 20, 2009, 02:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    If she will take no action then leave her alone as she must be as psycho as he is.
    I have to agree completely here. She has been with him for two years and she obviously still cares enough to not make him go away. Maybe she doesn't see your twos relationship the way you do, otherwise she would not be keeping him around. She can easily make him go away and she knows it is bothering you, but its her exes feelings she is protecting. I think she probably talks to him more cool like when you aren't around to heaR.
    leesta92's Avatar
    leesta92 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #13

    Nov 6, 2009, 01:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by razr View Post
    My god and I thought I was the only one! :eek: You won't believe my story. This is the story of two people in love, and a psycho keeping us apart!

    I'm not sure what kind of relationship they had before. I never bothered to ask her and personally it was none of my business. She told me "I'm done with him" and I trusted her. But he just doesn't get it, and for some reason she just won't tell him OFF!

    The problem arises with one of her friends who's very good friends with him. He's been asking her about me and what I do with her, and I think she tells him everything, because he knew WAY too much! I wanted to say something, but I couldn't prove anything and I didn't want to insult her (never blame her friends...or your done!).

    Anyways we've been good friends for about 4/5 months now and I've already mentioned to her how I feel. I was kind of quick no doubt, and was expecting her response to be a 50/50 thing, and that's exactly what I got along with "slow down your going to fast". I understood. She wanted time to understand me. Right? WRONG!

    Now, the fun begins this month when the psycho found out (probably from her friend) that she's "getting close" with someone new. I've given her some advice into dealing with this clown, but have never personally gotten involved. It has nothing to do with me, plus I'm not technically her "boyfriend". Plus, she is quite capable of handling herself, but in this particular situation she seems lost!

    I've been really patient and supportive, but how much longer could this crap keep up? I wanted to move forward but she wouldn't nudge and I began to think it was this issue which was stopping her. She knew who I was, but I think is worried about him or maybe still has feelings for him, god knows.

    As they say patience is a virtue, so I waited...waited until last week!

    What happened last week crossed the line! The psychopath decided not only confront her a few times but also called her up and yelled at her that she was making a mistake with me. He then lied to her that I was cheating on her and spreading lies about her with other people. Total BS!

    What really made my blood boil was that she was trying actually to defend herself saying "he's coming after me...". Who is he in the first place to even answer too was my question! And the sad thing was...she actually believed him too! :mad: That honestly ticked me off and I began thinking that maybe these two are much closer than I had originally thought.

    After the call the psychopath showed up at my flat and tried to fight me in the middle of the night! LITERALLY! Nothing really happened he was trying to instigate a fight and threatened me to stay away. I didn't want to do anything, the urge was there believe me but I didn't fall for his trap.

    I tried to talk to her the next day, but she wouldn't even talk to me! For 3 days I waited and then gave it another try. Eventually I got to her, and after explaining that it was all lies and rumours she finally realized.

    Believe me this isn't over yet, exams are coming up soon too so that's why we've both put this "on hold" but I'm sure this isn't the last I've heard from her or him.

    Right now I'm really confused and angry, I know what I have to do (dump her, and beat him up) but I'm giving it a little more time. I really like her and I'm just that type of guy that won't stop at nothing until I get it (unless she tells me off otherwise).

    My Advice:
    If you find out a clowny EX is following her/him around or harassing her then tell her straight up what she needs to do, otherwise just leave her. Don't make the same mistake I did otherwise you'll also be getting knocks on the door at 3am in the morning.

    Stay tuned for more...:rolleyes:








    Yeah I'm at your story now razr.. just today it was minimum day at school, I came to take her to my house so that she can finish her essay, then... her psycho ex-boyfriend came and just drag her into his car and left.. I'm like hella pissed that he kept taking my girl yes MY GIRL

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