A little confused right now, because we've been in a relationship for 4 months now and she is just now saying she doesn't want a serious relationship now, because she doesn't want to have to be completely committed to a relationship 24/7. Saying that she would like to be able to have time to do what she wants to do by herself without having to be committed to giving attention to a relationship. We mainly keep in touch on text, so how it was put was more to the point of 'being able to just ignore my phone for a while if I wanted to or spend time with family' not word for word but general idea.

Problem is she never really has that much free time anymore, her family always has her busy with something and so most of the time she can't reply to her texts very quickly anyway. There have been issues like a lot of arguments over stupid stuff like delays in texts, but all in all we've always been pretty close and gotten along great. She said "it's not your fault" and because I asked if there was anyone else she said "there is definitely not someone else" that she just "wants to be alone for a while and isn't ready for something so serious" and "doesn't want to be in any relationship right now", that she "needs time for herself to be free". The stuff in quotes are word for word quotes.

I don't even know anymore. There were always issues with her family, she never really did tell them about having a boyfriend, she always seemed to want to keep me a secret from them, mainly because of how they are and the whole long distance aspect of things. I guess she didn't think they'd be very supportive of someone she met over the net. It just seems really all the sudden out of the blue which is really odd to me.

She isn't really the type of person who would lie, I don't recall her ever lying about anything. She is religious and lying is considered a sin, and she was very strong on not sinning, so she would be honest. I'm just not sure what to do right now. I'm confused and hurt and don't want to lose her forever, but I also can't see how I can just go back to being friends again, which is what she wanted to do. It's impossible for me to go back to just being friends with someone who means so much more to me than that. In the end it'll end up hurting more because of not being together anymore with the person I love. She said she loves me but is breaking up with me, which makes no sense to me. She also said "love isn't always enough". That confused me too. She said: "I don't want a compromise right now, I don't wanna give in I just wants this time to myself". She also said said: "I don't know what the future brings maybe you'll still be around when i'm ready but I don't wanna take advantage of you because I know I wont be ready for a long time and I don't wanna change my mind because i think i'm right when I say i'm not ready for a relationship and I dont wanna feel pressured into one".

She also doesn't have any privacy anymore, she used to have a bit more privacy but now she has almost no privacy anymore, her family is almost always around. I don't know if that has something to do with it or not either, but it just seems she had no issues being in a serious relationship with me till just now. It's odd because there was one time she wanted to end it because of some differences but we talked through things and fixed the issue entirely. At the time of that near break up I had stopped replying to her messages for a bit and she seemed very frantic and concerned for if I was okay. This time though it is different. She isn't showing so much the same concern as before if I'm okay. Ugh, I'm lost right now, I don't know what to do. She said she still loves me but that won't change her mind about things. She still is texting me at least once a day but she seems to want to go back to just being friends but like I said, that's almost impossible when I feel so strongly toward someone. The fact that she texts me before I text her also makes it hard to just give the silent technique, because I'd have to just completely ignore her in that case. She didn't really have any real relationships before me, she told me I was the first actual boyfriend she's had.

She is just fine, you are not. Unlike other couples, none of you is happy so better end it than staying suffering.

I have just recently been in the same situation with a 3 month relationship. She wanted to take a step back and I agreed but we kept in touch by text which never solved anything.
I have now told her no contact as I still have feelings and need closure. The only way to find out her true feelings and thoughts, is by taking yourself away from her life. She'll then need to make a decision. Just act like you have gotten on with your life and that you don't need her in your life to be happy.
Otherwise, you'll be grieving your loss for a long time and you don't deserve that.

I don't understand why she keeps texting me saying she wants to talk to me later but she said she isn't changing her mind, why does she seem to want to talk to me if it's not to try and compromise? It's just more painful!

Its called, lets spend time together, but not as b/f -g/f
She doesn't want a full time relationship with you, but she still wants you in her life as a friend. Its you who wants more and its you who must accept her decision and decide how your going to get over her and move on. No Contact will work for you.

For some reason she isn't thrilled in your relationship but doesn't want to let you go either because it's better be a little bored than find a jerk.

Hi I am going through same thing, it's there way of saying they don't want anything with you YET because of some other reasons,she still wants to be friends with you or maybe have something in the future, usually they saying this to you now because they don't want to hurt you and its another guy involved in the picture. Don't waste your time, I wasted 4 years to here this come from her mouth lastweek, I'm devastated and heartbroken but you know what, I'm not going to stick around for her to come crawling back when this other guy breaks her heart, fuk that right of. Don't BE USED MAN, there just using you for rebound. I will never trust a female again.

Give me a break! If you are not getting what you deserve, just communicate it. If not happy with the answer, then leave. Plain and simple.

Suffering for 4 years is a choice.

Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you a option in theirs.:eek:

Well little by little I'm getting more of the picture of what is really bothering her. From what I am getting when she is with me she feels too tied down, like she is suffocating. Yet, the thing is, never once has she expressed any of these things to me or told me that I might have been making her feel this way. Had she done so I'd have given her more space within the relationship. Why is it so hard to just communicate that to me? In her words she is getting some of her life back this way. I honestly don't know if she just wants no relationships at all, because she sees them as a burden to her ability to do whatever she wants to do, when she wants to do it, or if she just wanted more space in general with the relationship we had. From what she said it'd imagine she wanted both. Having also mentioned 'I just want to be young and free while I can'

I didn't suffer for 4 years lol what I meant was for her to turn around all of a sudden after 4 years and end it, well those 4 years must have meant nothing to her. Wasted years man
Read my thread and you will understand.

Same with me man there was a lack of communication on her part about what she wanted.