My girlfriend usually goes out with her friends to a club in our town on Friday evenings. Last few weeks her friend has asked her to a club in the city. She usually always sends a text when she's home just to say she's safe (her suggestion not mine).
I woke up last night and looked at my phone, it was 4:30am and no text. I was concerned so I rang her. She answered and was pretty drunk, I could hear a lot of load music and guys shouting in the background. I asked where she wasn't and she couldn't tell me cos she didn't know, at some guys house with her friend. I said OK well let me know when you get home safe.
Woke up this morning about 11am, nothing.
I get a text at 12:30pm saying I was with sarah at her friend jamies house, I went with her while she had a quicky then we went and stayed at her other friends house natasha, I'm still here now.
I called her up and said who's this guys house and why were you there?
She said she got drunk and got dragged along and didn't want her friend to go alone. I asked what she did while her friend was having sex and she said she hung out in the living room with a few other people who were there and watch TV.
I said OK cool.
She said she'd never go to the clubs in the city with this girl because this girl is wild and always ends back up at random houses and drags my girlfriend along in the past. Well she ended up going and guess what happened this week.
She apologised and said she messed up.
Im not worried that anything happened with her while she's there, we've been dating 1.5 yrs, she's never lied or given any reason for me to distrust her.
what's bothering me is this...
If I went out with a friend 'clubbing' and I ended up going back to a random girls house while my buddy ed her and then staying out all night at another house, I can imagine she'd hit the roof. I asked her this and she even said, she wouldn't be happy if id done it.
What would you do or say in a situation like this.
I spoke to my mum about it and she said my girlfriend hasn't done anything wrong really, all she's done is ended up back at a small house party and stayed out. When I think of it like this, its fine.
Another thing that's bothering is she kept telling me, no no I won't go with her cos Im not sure I'll get home. Well the past 2 weeks the girl was fine, didn't drink too much and went straight home. Week 3 comes around and this happens.
Its hard to not sound controlling in a situation like this, I'm not trying to be controlling, I just don't think its very fair.
I said to her I'd never stay out all night because I know it would just cause and argument and you wouldn't like it if I did. She agreed. I asked ' so why did you do it' and she goes, I just wanted to go out and have a fun time with my friends, I didn't plan it. Its not a crime to go out and have fun.
I feel she disregarded my feelings a little bit.
Can somebody tell me if Im being unreasonable?
ps, I don't drink and when I go out to see friends at a bar, I take my car and Im always home by about 2am latest so she has nothing to worry about.
I want to add, I've never once told her not to go out. I always say, have a fun time.
Ive only ever expressed concern about her going with this girl once, which was 3 weeks ago.
She's trust worthy and it shouldn't matter who's house she spends the night at.
But I'm certainly bothered that she said she'd be mad at me if I did what she did. Yet I wasn't mad at her, I just asked her a couple questions about it.
Last edited by talaniman; Feb 14, 2010 at 08:25 AM.