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My girlfriend wants to take a break! What should I do?

Asked Jun 14, 2012, 08:14 AM — 17 Answers
First of all I want you guys to know that I am a junior in college. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost a year now. Most of it was amazing, but this last month we have been fighting a lot. She finally came to the conclusion that she needs to take a break. She said she just wants to try someone else to see if she's really meant to be with me. We talked about it and she said she only wants to take one for a couple days and he said she only wants to kiss a guy and see of there are sparks. The thing is she already has the time and the guy she wants to kiss planne out! She denied planning it but I know she has. When I confronted her on that she said she has thought he was "cute" for a while now but she has never planned anything with him. So I guess my question is, does she really need a break or is she just using this as an excuse to cheat on me and not get in trouble?

P.s. She says stuff like "I won't take a break if you don't want me to." But I do want her to take one. If its for the right reasons...

P.p.s. She also says stuff like "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you" and "It sucks that I'm having these feelings. I wish I wasn't!" and "Please promise to take me back afterwards"

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17 Answers
Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,418, Reputation: 24188
Jobs & Parenting Expert
  
#2

Jun 14, 2012, 08:19 AM


"Taking a break" is the "easy" let-down to breaking up permanently. Mature, committed couples don't "take a break" from each other. They work out the problem together.
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Tallyman29's Avatar
Tallyman29 Posts: 22, Reputation: 45
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#3

Jun 14, 2012, 08:51 AM
Sounds like your her backup plan in case this other guy she's interested in doesn't respond to her in kind. Don't be the backup guy, don't be taken for granted, get out of it now.
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Zorro44's Avatar
Zorro44 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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#4

Jun 14, 2012, 09:22 AM
I really don't think I'm her backup plan though.... She said that even if she does feel sparks with this guy she is just going to take it as a sign that we need to do something to work on our relationship, and come back to me no matter what.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,418, Reputation: 24188
Jobs & Parenting Expert
  
#5

Jun 14, 2012, 09:26 AM


That was a very comforting thing for her to say to you, very placating. Of course, the story isn't over yet. (You really think she isn't going to check out what those sparks mean?)
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Zorro44's Avatar
Zorro44 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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#6

Jun 14, 2012, 09:41 AM
That's exactly what I'm worried about. She will feel sparks an come back to me, and maybe we will work things out and be together forever. Bu I'm afraid she will always have that person in the back of her mind and always wonder what could have been with him.

She says she just wants to be sure... But if she does get sparks with this guy, wouldn't that just give her more doubts?
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,418, Reputation: 24188
Jobs & Parenting Expert
  
#7

Jun 14, 2012, 09:53 AM


Yes, it will give her more doubts and she will want to find out what those sparks mean. Or like you said, will regret it forever if she doesn't check it out.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,376, Reputation: 50376
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#8

Jun 14, 2012, 12:55 PM
Quote:
or is she just using this as an excuse to cheat on me and not get in trouble?
Dead on the money, the rest of her rap is sweet BS!!! Let her go, don't look back, because you can do better.
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slapshot_oi's Avatar
slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 3064
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#9

Jun 14, 2012, 01:21 PM
Fact: Love is a numbers game. Ostensibly, your girlfriend is realizing that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorro44 View Post
... she only wants to kiss a guy and see of there are sparks. The thing is she already has the time and the guy she wants to kiss planne out!
That's the silliest thing I've read on here in months; a planned kiss?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorro44 View Post
P.s. She says stuff like "I won't take a break if you don't want me to." But I do want her to take one. If its for the right reasons...
Are you serious? You're okay with this? Here's what will happen: she will kiss this guy, but, there won't be any sparks because she had set her expectations too high. Then she'll realize "Hey! There are plenty of other guys out there that I can kiss and might connect with! I need to tell Zorro44 that I want an extension on my break." And soon you'll find yourself answering her phone calls to listen to her thoughts on dates she had with other guys.

It's glaringly obvious that your girlfriend's maturity level is really low. So low that she's not ready for a serious relationship. Break up with her, stop contacting her and let her do her thing.
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Zorro44's Avatar
Zorro44 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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#10

Jun 14, 2012, 09:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by slapshot_oi View Post
Fact: Here's what will happen: she will kiss this guy, but, there won't be any sparks because she had set her expectations too high. Then she'll realize "Hey! There are plenty of other guys out there that I can kiss and might connect with! I need to tell Zorro44 that I want an extension on my break." And soon you'll find yourself answering her phone calls to listen to her thoughts on dates she had with other guys.
I'm hoping there will be no sparks and she will realize "Hey, there's nothing special out there. What I have right now is the best!" or something along those lines..
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