Me and my girlfriend have been with each for on an off 2 an half years. We spend a lot of time with each other and share lots of things in common, our relationship bar a few issues was extremely healthy, we both love each other, care for each other, both faithful and have lots of laughs, shes my best friend. we've broken up a few times not for long tho seems almost bipolar, i go through a bad time and dont want to be with her, few days time were together and same with her. We have been on 3 major holidays and enjoyed all of them an got lots of things that remind each other of us. We talked about growing up together and future plans, we talked form the heart an mean it. With her career she may have to move away at the end of the year and thinks its best if we break up. Its a shock and i hate the fact of breaking up. She doens't not love me, and nothing has gone wrong, just she says she wants space thing is, she isnt the srt of person that actaully wants space, i know her. she doenst like breaks and we have boken up i kills me that i have no say other than to try and get along with her decision. it feels like i have lost half of me, i have talked to her but dont want to pester her, she seems strong and serious that it is the right thing. It isnt we're great together. I want to be with her more than anything else. The only thing i think i can do is give her her space. No one else measure up to her, i dont want to be with anyone else. i believe i have found the one but she doenst want to be with me right now.

Can anybody give me some info, cheer me up, give me some stats, some general . psychology, some life experience.

Jesushelper76

First: Break, is a break. That means it is not working.

Second: No one can measure up, you do not know this now. That statement is False.

Third: There are plenty of fish in the sea. You might not find the one right away but there will always be somebody that fits you, might not be the same way but it will happen.

Fourth: On and off, Breaks and so much more. Her being serious. If she says its a break it is a break. That reality has not hit you yet, but you have to face it sometime.

Fifth: You need to get out and live life for yourself. Think about enjoying your life and your time. Do not sit on you butt and let life past you by, because your going to regret later in life.

Sixth: It is up to you if you want to wallow in self pity, but to put her up in a pedestal like that is only going to cause problems. You saying no one else can measure up. Is there not anything you do without this girl?

Seventh: Give her the space. Real space. The no contact rule. Stop hounding her because if you truly want her to miss you and you truly want to have another chanch with this girl then what you need to do is stop calling her, stop emailing her, stop writing her, stop seeing her.

Joe

talaniman

Join the club my friend, nearly everyone here has the same story you do, and it will take time but you will have plenty of that so, GIVE her what she asked for, no calling no email, no phone calls, Get you a life that you enjoy without her.

steve_malibu

she hasnt asked me not to call, email or see her. she said she still loves me just it is the best thing. it is totally unlike her which worries me. i can hold my space that will be okay i think - ill post how i get on but we know each other backwards an it seems like she's flipped an its taking affect on me. she is my rock an really special to me, many ppl may talk jus about another girl on these forums but this was more. im fit good sportsman, still exercisin, got good career good mates behind me, thought everythin was good, really in my comfort zone. As i said she isnt the sort of person that wants space, more to make a point, this seems to far tho??

The best thing to happen to me is that we make up an sort stuff out. she cant deny it is the best thing but she wants space?

Any ideas?

Wildcat21

Yes - cut all contact for 2 months. Give her space. Fix you.

No calls, no returned e-mails nothing.

chuff

She may not have asked, but don't contact her at all.

You are your own rock. This might be hard on you but you still have everything you had before she came into your life and even though you can't see it now, it will be there when the pain wears off.

Sorry Steve, and I speak from someone that's said the exact same things to people when I've just had a break up, saying to others that you can't understand what we had was different. Well I and everybody else here can understand what it's like. But when I've got over the pain I've looked back and realized that it was another woman who would not have lasted a lifetime like I thought she would. Emotions cloud judgement.


But that's just it. Your in a comfort zone. That's why she seemed so perfect. Everything else in your life came together and she happened to be apart of it when it did.


Truthfully it sounds like she's dumping you and doing it in steps. First the "break" which is another word for dumping anyway, then the line coming in the next month or two, "I'm not ready for a relationship now, but I want to remain friends. Really good friends." I think you need to snap out of denial and accept this is over.

ForeverZero

I'll be example number 3409823409204823094. Same story. Don't pester her, let her do her thing and hope for the best. I didn't do that and i lost mine.

s_cianci

Give her the space she says she needs. Move on with your life. Get busy and be involved. I know it seems hard at first but you'll find that there is life outside of her. Others will tell you that a woman is only part of your life, not your life. Putting too much importance in a relationship is a recipe for heartbreak. Do the things that you enjoy. Take up some new interests and "dust off" some old ones. Work on you. You're the most important person in your life. Treat yourself accordingly.

bluehighlighter

i will say i am the type of person who needs their space. to me from what u wrote it doesnt sound like she is breaking up with u. it sounds like she plain and simple needs her space. i say u definately should wait for her to contact you. when she figures things out in her head she will hopefully call and explain everything if she really loves you. if she is dumping u she wont contact u ever, but i believe if u give her the space she needs to think she will appreciate it more than anything and eventually come back.

ForeverZero

Make no mistake, giving her space will not neccesarily bring her back. But there's one thing i've never ever ever ever ever seen in any of these threads, and i've read through about 30 of them on these boards. I'VE NEVER SEEN NAGGING AND PESTERING ACTUALLY BRING THEM BACK.