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Girlfriend Wants Space/Break - Is it too late?

Asked Apr 5, 2007, 11:19 AM — 416 Answers
I know this seems like an (un)popular subject but here goes-
I've been together with my girl for a little over a year and a haf and this last week had THE TALK. She says that she doesn't have the spark/chemistry in our relationship and that she loves me but isn't in love. That she know I'm the only one she's ever been comfortable with and she knows that she can count on me for anything. There were a lot of things we discussed during the talk, she feels like I'm too secretative when it comes to financial issues (which I have been) and that she doesn't have her own identity - which I agree with. No true friends of her own. I'm pretty much all she really identifies with. But from the beginning of our dating SHE was always the one who was needy and kind of controlling. Anyway I asked that we try to pull back on our relationship instead of just ending it, and that the space/break would be good. She agreed. But here's the rub, she still calls me and we had to meet the other day just briefly and she hugged and kissed me and sometimes says I love you. All this after she said that she doesn't know what our status is and for me to not wait for her. To complicate matters she has a ton of her personal stuff at my apartment (because we we're looking into living together - again something she always wanted more). Is she just confused? She's younger than me 14 years but has always been more mature for her age. I'm at a loss. I don't want to just not call her back when she calls me- I'm not about games. Please help - suggestions?

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416 Answers
sypher373's Avatar
sypher373 Posts: 360, Reputation: 201
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#111

May 10, 2007, 08:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
I am listening - and I'm not contacting her and I am trying to move on but I also think every relationship is unique. My EX has no friends, I am her best friend and it hurts to think that she doesn't have anyone now even though she pushed me away.
I understand this exactly. My ex had no friends. For the three years we were together, she hung out with me, and pretty much that was it. Part of the reason we broke up was that she moved away and had new friends, that she had never had before. She wanted to enjoy that, and she didn't want me there at the same time.

Im just trying to save you from what I went through. We broke up 3 months ago, and I'm still deep in the confusion, and it still hurts...but I'm getting better. A few weeks after the breakup, she said things to me which are similar to what you hear. I can remember specifically one time when she called me crying and said "I feel like I can't live without you." Well, nothing came from that. She was confused, having a bad day, and knew I would be there to comfort her.

I understand all relationships are different, I just wanted to give you some insight on what happened with me, and hopefully it won't happen with you.

Good luck my friend.
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Righthearted's Avatar
Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 23
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#112

May 10, 2007, 08:43 PM
Thank you.
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mckenzie134's Avatar
mckenzie134 Posts: 652, Reputation: 450
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#113

May 10, 2007, 08:47 PM
My girlfriend broke up with me two months ago just like sypher she did the same thing to me called me up after three weeks and got me to go over she slerpt with me and said she never felt better and was glad I was there! Well that was it hasn't spoke to me since. Its all bull they just want you there to feel a bit better and that's it... Forget her and wait to she calls you and if she does then you may be a chance but don't rush and jumop on her! Make her chase you back your the busy guy now.
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Righthearted's Avatar
Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 23
Junior Member
  
#114

May 12, 2007, 11:00 AM
How would I know if my ex girlfriend wanted to get back together?
If she feels like I'm moving on by doing no contact, which I've been doing - and then she feels like she should move on as well because I'm not reaching out to her - I don't want to be the "one that got away". What to do?
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MissMod2006's Avatar
MissMod2006 Posts: 13, Reputation: -1
New Member
  
#115

May 12, 2007, 11:05 AM
Start talking to her?
mckenzie134 (May 15, 2007 08:18 PM): Totally wrong she said she wanted a break, she didnt say lets have a chat!!! Did you even read the script. I   Source:
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sypher373's Avatar
sypher373 Posts: 360, Reputation: 201
Full Member
  
#116

May 12, 2007, 11:05 AM
If she broke up with you, and your giving her space - if she decides that she wants to be back together, she will let you know. I'm sure that if she realized it was a mistake, or wanted to be back together, she would let you know....

Put yourself in her position: If you dumped someone, then a few months later you realized it was a mistake, would you just assume that she is moved on and let her go? No, you would make sure she knows how you feel, then you would be at the mercy of her decision. Don't worry about what isn't happening now, if it does happen you'll know
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kkentucky's Avatar
kkentucky Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#117

May 12, 2007, 11:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Righthearted
If she feels like I'm moving on by doing no contact, which I've been doing - and then she feels like she should move on as well because I'm not reaching out to her - I don't want to be the "one that got away". What to do?
Has she given you any indication she wants to get back together?
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Righthearted's Avatar
Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 23
Junior Member
  
#118

May 12, 2007, 11:12 AM
She called me upset and wanting to hear my voice a week ago (she was missing me), then she emailed me the night after asking me if it was alright that she did. THEN she went out of her way to run into me at a gas station this last week and gave me a hug.
Now I find out she's babysitting for some friends of mine in a couple of weeks.
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Jiser's Avatar
Jiser Posts: 1,247, Reputation: 1401
Ultra Member
  
#119

May 12, 2007, 12:13 PM
Light contact! However it is healthier to get over each other first before reconciliation. Best to enjoy life being single for a while. Learn from the past and use that experience. If an ex wanted you back I am sure they would let you know. Let them do the chasing, they broke up with you! If they don't come back then there will be someone else in time/...
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Righthearted's Avatar
Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 23
Junior Member
  
#120

May 12, 2007, 12:59 PM
Will they chase if they think I've moved on - which I obviously haven't. I feel like I don't want her to forget about me.
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