Hello everyone,
My girlfriend and I have been going out for 2.5 years. We started when she was 15 and I was 17 and now I'm a junior in college and she just started her freshman year. We go about a hour n a half drive apart from each other. Weeks before I left for college she kept on teling me how she couldn't wait to be together in college and sleep in the same bed together and not worry about curfues and everything. When she goes to college she acts normal, she goes out and parties for the first time on her first weekend, talks normally and acts normally towards me. The second weekend on a friday we tal kbefor she goes out, perfectly fine, then we talk while she's out and she has drunkin hard liquor for the first time ever. She's really wasted but she loves me and tells me she wishes I was there right now to be with her and she misses me a lot. She calls again before she goes to bed and tells me she threw up and is going to bed and she loves me, all normal stuff for our relationship. Saturday afternoon we talk again and says she doesn't know if she loves me anymore and is curious about what it would be like to have a different kind of boyfriend. I'm stunned, it was like a light switch went off or something. She doesn't break it off then but says she needs time to figure everything out. I call her every night for 3 nights after that and it always ends in her crying and telling me she is confused. After that I try to contact her once at night for the next few days and no answer. She goes out the next weekend and breaks all contact with me. Finally I stop trying for 5 days during the next weekend to give her time to figure everything out. But when I try to make contact again the roommate tells me she ignored my call the night before.(she thinks the way my girlfriend is treating me is horrible). I finally block my number and call her the next day and she answers and tells me she is about to go out and can't talk but she will call me back later no emotion when she talks to me, like a zombie. She never calls. I call the next day zombie responses again, one word answers and I finally say to her I'm trying to have a civilized conversation with her and not tal kabout anything that happened but she's making it difficult and bringing this on herself. A few more days go by and we talk and she says she figured everything out and wants to be single, not a break. She says a break means she's obligated to be with me after and she wants no strings attached, she just wants to be single. I'm once again floored. How could this be happening? The first week she was fine even when she went out and now its a complete turn. The roommate said all she cares about is meeting guys but she is not the type of girl to randomly hook up with anyone and won't cheat, I know that. I try to tell her that she has treated me horribly and if she is looking for my replacement out there that she won't find someone that would put up with everything she has put me through and still want to be with the person they love. She says its not about another guy and she hasn't met anyone that she would consider boyfriend material. I believe her, I asked her this many times over the course of a week and always very firmly states the same answer.
My question is now, is this a phase? If so how long will it last? Should I just ride it out? Currently I'm only calling her every other day to tal kfor 5 minutes just to say hello. The other day I sent her a text saying I gave a tour for my school to this kid from our home town and she responded with emotion for the first time since this happened. I tried to continue the conversation for as long as I could so I can at least talk to her and I got 4 texts from her in the end. The last one I sent was saying if I could help her study for her tests (thats what she said she was doing at the moment) let me know cause I'm pretty good at chemistry but no responce after that. Also she responded to my first text 7 hours after I sent it, her phone is a little weird like that but I don't know if it messed up or if she just read it then or something and didn't respond after I offered to help her. Also when we talked that she wanted to be single I braught up the idea of I would like to try ot be friends with her at least and she said we could try but I would have to get over her first. Honeslty I would love to get back together with her in the future but I don't know if that's possible. Right now I'm trying to call her once every other day just to say hellpo and give her her space she wants right now. After the texts though I have hope cause she showed emotion towards me for the first time in a long time, she hasn't told me she loves me since it happened though. She's also coming over for columbus day weekend to pretty much end it with us(she is not the type of person to do it over the phone) so that's the only thing that has saved me this long. That weekend is in 2 weeks and I'm hoping her emotions will continue to grow for me and when we see each other she won't be able to do it. I also asked her to consider spending 24 hours with me instead of just runing and saying were done to leave to her friends place down the street. She said she didn't know if she could handle that right now but I only want that to have some closure and to experience being together in college cause we have been waiting for that moment for 2.5 years and I know she wants to too but she's pushing me away. I know she has love for me still but she's holding it back. She's always has been curious what it would be like with other kinds of boyfriends (she never says guys always boyfriends). She also told me she was going to take down her relationship status on facebook and she did that and got rid of all her favorite quotes I said , she also took away the picture of us in her picture frame over her computer in her dorm. Its like she's pushing me away and trying to erase every trace of me.

I have spoken to my roomates about the situation, none of which has ever met her but one did almost the same thing for the same reasons to his girlfriend freshman year and said it took about a year for him to be in a relationship again, not with his ex and talks to his ex almost every week as friends now. Another person did the same thing to his girlfriend so he could see what's out there and eventually wanted to get back together after 5 months and now they have been going out for almost 3 years. Everyone I have talked to at home that knows both of us and has seen how we act together (we have never faught, not in 2.5 years of going out) say its all a phase and to ride it out and I will be fine.

Im just hoping either she won't be able to do it when we see each other and it will be a magical weekend or to not tal kto her at all until christmas break and then see if she would want to go to a movie or something which was our usual date and see what happens. Were also big christmas people so I figured between being home, christmas and movies(were big movie people too) that might tip the scales in my favor by the end of the break.

What do you think is happening and what should I do and what should I expect? Sorry I know that's all jumbled up but my mind has been going full speed for 2 weeks now. Any advice would be appreciated.


We haven't seen each other in 3 weeks so that might be part of it

Also when this started her wall posts where very I LOVE YOU I miss you type things but now there back to normal but the roommate said her attidude hasn't changed about anything