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Stevywand · Jun 16, 2013, 10:39 PM

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. Things have gotten pretty serious between us to the point to where we want to spend the rest of our life's together and talk about it often. But, just like every relationship, it has its ups and downs. Our relationship started rocky but has been good. I love this girl more than anything and we tell each other stuff like that all the time. But now she wants to break up and forget about all that we are because of something from the past. I'm good to my girlfriend In every way possible. I do all I can for her and more. I'm faithful to the max and do a lot for her. How can I get her to realize that and not want to break up?

Oliver2011 · Jun 17, 2013, 04:50 AM

"because of something from the past."

If you aren't going to tell us what that something is it is going to be difficult for us to help you out. Or are we supposed to guess? If that is the case I will guess: You are Bernie Madoff and you scammed her out of money.

In all seriousness what happened that made her decide this? Is it still happening? Is she flakey on other aspects of the relationship?

Stevywand · Jun 17, 2013, 06:33 AM

The something from the past was that she found out that that I had hung out with my ex, we were not together, a couple of days before we met. Which I had failed to mention before.

Oliver2011 · Jun 17, 2013, 06:47 AM

Oh brother. That is ludicrous. Your time prior to her shouldn't be her concern unless you did something very bad or illegal. Move on - she's a drama queen.

Next time get to know a person well before you dive in head first. If you rush a relationship then you are probably dooming the relationship.

Stevywand · Jun 17, 2013, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Oh brother. That is ludicrous. Your time prior to her shouldn't be her concern unless you did something very bad or illegal. Move on - she's a drama queen.

Next time get to know a person well before you dive in head first. If you rush a relationship then you are probably dooming the relationship.

Nothing bad and nothing illegal, just that I messed up by staying in contact with my ex for the first few weeks e first started talking. But once I realized how stupid I was being and how much I cared for my girlfriend, not my ex, I cut off all communication with my ex

df2014 · Jun 17, 2013, 10:31 AM

Hanging out with your ex early in your relationship. Were you and your ex in an intimate relationship at the same time you were being intimate with your present girlfriend?

If the answer is no, your girlfriend may have trust issues because of something from her past that is making her very caution about being hurt again.

If she insist on being apart, I would only suggest that you plead your case to her and assure her of your faithfulness and love. Then give her some space. Don't continue to push or you may push her further away. And if you really want her back, stay faithful and wait... and stay clear of your ex if at all possible.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 17, 2013, 11:04 AM

I think that is a really silly reason to break off a 1 year relationship that was going well.
When you first started talking to her, were you then exclusively dating her, were your having sex with both her and your ex? If not, what is the big deal.
Give her her space. She sounds like a drama queen. How old are the two of you?

odinn7 · Jun 17, 2013, 11:15 AM

How old are both of you?

This all sounds kind of silly. To go from "Things have gotten pretty serious between us to the point to where we want to spend the rest of our life's together and talk about it often." to breaking up for something like that? She sounds really immature.

Stevywand · Jun 17, 2013, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by df2014

Hanging out with your ex early in your relationship. Were you and your ex in an intimate relationship at the same time you were being intimate with your present girlfriend?

If the answer is no, your girlfriend may have trust issues because of something from her past that is making her very caution about being hurt again.

If she insist on being apart, I would only suggest that you plead your case to her and assure her of your faithfulness and love. Then give her some space. Don't continue to push or you may push her further away. And if you really want her back, stay faithful and wait...and stay clear of your ex if at all possible.

Not hanging out with my ex at all early in our relationship. Just kind of in contact. More of that she was contacting me. And no about being intimate with both. Once I met my girlfriend, nothing else mattered including my ex.

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I think that is a really silly reason to break off a 1 year relationship that was going well.
When you first started talking to her, were you then exclusively dating her, were your having sex with both her and your ex? If not, what is the big deal.
Give her her space. She sounds like a drama queen. How old are the two of you?

Revert to my answer to other question about ex.

And we're in our mid and early 20's

talaniman · Jun 17, 2013, 11:44 AM

I don't see much to convince her about since she is obviously not as serious about staying together as you are so drop the guilt over the past and leave her alone because she truly must convince herself about wanting a future or there is no meaning to staying together.

Bet she has more issues than what you are revealing.

unusedusername · Jun 17, 2013, 11:50 AM

You both have to want it for it to work. If she doesn't.. move on. Love isn't love if you have to fight for it.