At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I really have a problem and I really need your help. I was reading through some topics from people that had similar problems, but i think mine is different in a way.
I was with this girl for almost 8 years. We had for 4 years long distance relationship, but we met every summer and Xmas for a month or so. We were really close together, our families met each other, and everything was so perfect.
Three weeks ago, she told me "things are not so weel for us now. I am not showing how much I love you, and we should take a break for a while so that I can decide what I want from my life".
I said ok, but then kept asking her questions and stuff all the time. A week ago, I started to see that she has found someone else. She wasn't sleeping at her house anymore, and she spent a lot of time away. I asked her many times if there is someone else, and she said no. But then i called her, i told her that you are not honest with me, and i want to know the truth.
This happend last wednesday (1 week ago). We talked over the phone, she told me everything, and I was very understanding and nice to her. I was talking not as her ex, but as her friend, giving her advice and stuff. I told her that she is moving too fast with him, sleeping almost everynight and stuff. She told me she doesn't love him, she is not in love with him, and basically she is enjoying what comes up in her world. She is enjoying every single moment of her life.
For two days, she understood that what was going on was wrong. She told me that she will end things up with the guy. So she went to see her, and after 1-2 hours she called me and told me she wanted to break up with ME. The very next day i called the airline and went and spent the weekend with her. Until monday. At first, things were weird, but then we had fun and sex and she showed she had feelings for me. She said things will someday be ok with us (as a couple) but she needs some time now..
Today is Friday. She slept with him on monday, wednsday and last night. She wants to be my friend, and talk to me. She said it feels right with me, but she wants to be sure that i am the one for her.
(she is 23 and i am 26). Yesterday, she told me she has chosen her life (not him). She told me he wants a relationship, but she doesn't. and still, she is sleeping with this guy at his house almost every day.
She told me she knows this guy is not the one for her, she is enjoying her life, and time will show..
Obviously, they are creating a new relationship together. They text each other, call each other, and sleep together almost every night. She made it clear though that she doesn't want a relationship. What the hell?
She loves me, she thinks that she will come back someday, but she needs some time now to think (with him apparently).
What should I do? Should I wait for her? Should I use the NO CONTACT rule? She wants to talk to me like a friend and share any news and stuff..
Can she feel the same about me again? Am i stupid for being so understanding and nice to her even if she sees another man?
Last two days I am trying to avoid her.. keep contacting at a minimum (1-2 minutes every time) and I close all conversations. Yesterday she told me that I was too 'cold' with her, even if we agreed to be close friends for now. I will continue this probably. Shall I keep talking with her as a friend? Or do the NO CONTACT rule? Which one is more effective? Will she ever come back?
Thank you guys..
Some other things I forgot to post:
I asked her a million times if she wants me to move on, forget about her.. she always tells me NO, unless I want to..
She always tryies to contact me.. and sometimes i am ingoring her and she doesn't like that.. she thinks I am cold at her or something..
During last weekend, I saw she had some feelings for me.. but since then, she is sleeping almost everynight with that guy (except one night).
What should I do to get her back? Stay her friend? Or NO CONTACT? Will I ever get her back? I NEED HELP!!!!
<<Last night I was ready to tell her "Goodbye".. She knows that.. She is starting to realize that I am moving on slowly slowly without her.. That I can have life without her.. That I can live without her..
>>
VERY GOOD.
Now , do not talk to her anymore.
NO CONTACT. Let her suffer, she wanted you out of her life as a boyfriend , so give her that!!
Seriously why are you putting yourself through even talking to her?
End the suffering and go FULL NC!
Imagine 10 years from now, will you be thinking about all of this? You will probably be in a much better place in a much happier relationship than you had with this women. I have met lots of people and they seemingly dissapeared from my life for ever, I just look back with fond memories. NO time for regrets.
"Just remember that I will never hate you for anything. The only person I hate is me.. for doing this to you. Take care of yourself always x x x"
I know i have to move on guys. I have to erase all my feelings first, which is the most difficult thing I ever had to do.. I still love her so much.. I have to move on!!!
No i don't think so.. She always tells me to take care of myself always (even before the break)...
I think she really thought about our text messages last night..
She does feel guilty! But I don't really know if she is moving on, or if she has second thoughts now.. It's tricky..
I know she will try to contact me tonight (she has class now).
I told you guys.. I will try to move on, enjoy my life.. find other girls.. and if she decides to come back, then I will talk to her.. I didn't say I will accept her..
I'll let you know tonight if something else happens..
This is the sickest thread I have ever read. Seems like if you keep running into a brick wall at least put on a helmut. I must be sick too for reading this crap. Tester you need profesional help to unstick your mind fella. Can you imagine what you look like to the average person reading all that writing. Get help, and throw away the keyboard.
Linear Mode
