Girlfriend "wants a break" - I dont know what to do

Joe Stevens · Feb 21, 2007, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sypher373

Hello all,

I have read quite a few of the longer discussions which have taken place here, and I hope that you can help me with mine.

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for just shy of 3 years. Last week, she told me that she didn't feel for me as she used to, she just didn't think that she loved me as much as I love her.

Soon after that, she told me she thought it was so stupid, and she made a huge mistake. I took her back, because it was all that I wanted. Now, a week later, she has told me she still has that feeling in the back of her mind, and she can't shake it.

I know the reason she came back to me the first time is because everyone she talked to told her it was a mistake -- including her family and some of her friends. They told her that she would not find someone as good as me, and why would she want to leave me.

Now, she has told me that she wants a break again, and her reason is so that "she can be by herself because she doesn't know what it would be like to live without me". The problem is, I thought we were perfect.

My main concerns are these:

It seems since she has gone to school, she has become more social and this might have something to do with why she wants a break. She told me that the thought of the possibility of being with a specific person has crossed her mind, but also swore to me she couldn't see herself with him. She says she just wants time to hink and be by herself.

Also, this friday night, we were planning on seeing each other, as I was going to go to her school and stay overnight. We still have plans to see each other, though all communication between us until then is at a bare minimum. I don't know what I should do when I see her. I think that if I tell her how I really feel, and break down, she will take me back, though this might be just because she feels bad. I know that shouldn't be waht I want, but I am willing to do anything at this point.

One last troubling part of this whole thing is that I asked her this morning if she was sad, and she told me that sad wasn't the word, it was more confusion. Hearing this almost made me break down in class. For the last week between the first time this happened and now, we seemed perfect. I asked her once "Will you stay with me forever" and she responded, "of course". Thinking back on that now, all I want to do is die, beucase I am so afraid that I won't have that again.

She has promised me that when she sees me friday she will go into with an open mind, and we will try to talk about things then. I know this is only a 2 or 3 day break, but it is my sincere hope that she misses me.

When I see her, should I bring her flowers or do anything to try to win her back? I told her I was planning on bringing her flowers originally (before she told me this) and she said that she didn't want that, bcause it would just make her decisions harder.

I am sorry for writing so much, but I feel like I can't survive.

Somebody please help me

Mate this happened to me I know you still love her I know what it is like its hard to do but leave and forget about it

sypher373 · Feb 21, 2007, 11:40 AM

This is something else that I forgot to mention...

When this has happened before, I had broken down and I could not keep no contact with her. I needed to call her, and I did. I ended up calling her crying at 5am, and I am afraid that had to do with her taking me back.

This time, I made sure that I did not contact her, but what confuses me is that she contacted me this morning. She sent me a message that said "I just want to see how your doing". Should I take this to mean she's thinking about me? Should I play tough and act like nothing is wrong? Should I bear my soul and tell her how I really feel?

Thank you

Suicidal Addiction · Feb 21, 2007, 11:58 AM

I think that maybe if she wants you guys should break up and stay broke up are you sure you didn't do anything wrong lol you can get better than her if she keeps doing that but if you really like her that much and you want her back I think you should still take those flowers and maybe act like what she said never was said or you can act like you don't care and that makes people real mad lol

starsbooty · Feb 21, 2007, 12:59 PM

Not to sound rude, but you sound like you might need her and are a bit clingy, if you really want her act like you don't care and if she comes running back its because you looked like you were fine with out her, I am a girl I am telling you the truth, when guys do that type of stuff it makes us feel unwanted and we want to be wanted again, if she doesn't come running back she didn't care in the first place.. Good luck and act like your not worried about what decision she makes.

LBP · Feb 21, 2007, 01:27 PM

Honestly, this sounds like one of those situations where you need to give her exactly what she wants and not look back. Disappear.

She doesn't want to know how you're doing. She's being selfish. When she asks how your'e doing, give a noncommital answer. You tell her the truth and she'll become disgusted with you - not overwhelmingly so, but she's probably lost a lot of respect for you all ready. Not fair, is it? Yet that's the way it is. For some bizzare reason, young women find sincerity of feeling to be somewhat repulsive, despite what she may otherwise tell you. Basically this is the point in your life where you're going to have to realize that despite what all the songs have said, and what many other women have told you with seeming sincerity, she wants something else. She wants someone who cares about her a lot less than you do - frankly, she finds the fact that you care so much to be a little icky. That you would do anything? Pathetic. That much is clear from her actions. If she really cared, as you did, she wouldn't be doing this to you - she cares about herself more than she cares about you.

I suggest you follow her lead. Doing anything else will just piss her off.

But do what you feel is best...

Wildcat21 · Feb 21, 2007, 01:29 PM

Disappear for a while - 3 months. Leave her alone - be busy.

No wants a needy cry baby - YUCK! Puke!

sypher373 · Feb 21, 2007, 02:29 PM

Thanks for the advice guys,
Im doing my best.

Right now it feels like I can't even get out of bed.
At this point all I want is her to miss me, and for her to think it was a mistake, and it seems in my mind that if I call her, it would make her miss me.

Though the more I think about it, is exactly the opposite true? Should I really try to act like nothing is wrong so that she misses me? If I call her it makes her feel as if I am not really gone?

Thanks

LBP · Feb 21, 2007, 03:05 PM

No, if you call her, it makes her resent you attempting to manipulate her emotions. Do nothing. Stick to yourself - you'll be more happy in the long run.

mastone · Feb 21, 2007, 05:16 PM

I don't know how many of these answers are from females, but I will say - from a woman's point of view- you need to get rid of her. She is not interested in you. As a matter of fact, she's probably dating someone else on the sneak. That's why she's confused. She doesn't want you but her family is telling her she must be crazy because you're such a sweet guy. She's really not interested in what you're doing when she calls and asks you that. She just wants to make sure you're still sitting around wanting to be with her. Just in case it doesn't work out with the other guy. So please, I know it hurts, but you need to pick up the pieces and move on with your life - WITHOUT HER!

Girlfriend "wants a break" - I dont know what to do

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