girlfriend trouble is this normal?

cmptitantic · #1 Apr 4, 2007, 06:16 AM

Hi all, "is my girlfriend bored of our relationship?? and how to tell??? "

I have a few issues im trying to get through and would like some sound advice. I am in a relationshipnow for 2 yrs and 4 months. I am 27 and my girlfriend is 21. We do not have a lot in common but we get along good together. My major concern is that I feel that my girlfriend wants to stay with her friends more than anything. We do spend a lot of time together like weekends and weekly but what I noticed is that when shes with me she calls them and talks to them texts them and whens shes with them I hear from her once in a while shell call for a min or 2 and when I call her she answers but keeps it pretty shoty. Now I no this probably sounds childish I just wanted to see what others felts about it if it’s a serious issue or not. She is kinda young and im probably further in life than her “for a lack of better words” butI don’t know should I make this like its not there or will it get worse???? I bring her flowers alot and show effection and i dont feel like i get the same back from her. is this normal with the age differance or could this just be her?

alizeblu · Apr 4, 2007, 09:41 AM

ok ask yourself, do i love this woman?

if yes, then ask yourself, why do i have doubts?

if it was meant to be there should be no doubts whatsoever.

no conflict, no nothing. Problems, but they should be easily solved.

if you are doubting the relationship, and her because she hangs out with her friends more than you, maybe its time to check yourself, and where the relationship is heading.

sit down and talk to her, let her know your true feelings, if she loves you she will do the same, and you 2 should work it out like a normal couple, if she gets defensive because you wanna know where you stand in the relationship,

well then my friend i think you have your answer.

sypher373 · Apr 4, 2007, 10:32 AM

Do you have friends that you can spend time with when shes busy with her friends??

You dont want to become to dependant on her being around to be happy, thats trouble.

When she wants to go out, let her go out and find something to do with your own friends...Maybe she's feeling a little smothered?

You dont need to shower her with gifts, she knows you love her. Back off a little bit and see if she comes around. By trying harder, you will only make the situation worse.

cmptitantic · Apr 4, 2007, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alizeblu

ok ask yourself, do i love this woman?

if yes, then ask yourself, why do i have doubts?

if it was meant to be there should be no doubts whatsoever.

no conflict, no nothing. Problems, but they should be easily solved.

if you are doubting the relationship, and her because she hangs out with her friends more than you, maybe its time to check yourself, and where the relationship is heading.

sit down and talk to her, let her know your true feelings, if she loves you she will do the same, and you 2 should work it out like a normal couple, if she gets defensive because you wanna know where you stand in the relationship,

well then my friend i think you have your answer.

Hey
alizeblu, to be honest im not 100% sure because she does kinda get angry when i try to talk about teh relatioship and how she feels and whats going on. I love her but i do not want that to blind the reality of it. I mean we still do alot she affectionate mostly outside or in from of people. Here is a interesting story last night she called me at 4 in the morning she was at a friends house late since its spring break this week for her. So i see the missed call and called her back at 7am she was sleeping and didnt answeer so she called me at 12 and when i called her back at 12 30 we were talking and i asked why she called me at 4am she said she didnt and it was teh phone again "wich does happen often." so i said i called u by accident also than she said i have to go and hung up. I just feel like she being nasty alot lately. Last weekend we went to her parents house to eat this weekend were going to a b-day for my brothers kid and than sunday to my grandma for easter cause we be doing all this but still not be right??? im soo lost

sypher373 · Apr 4, 2007, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmptitantic

we were talking and i asked why she called me at 4am she said she didnt and it was teh phone again "wich does happen often." so i said i called u by accident also than she said i have to go and hung up.

Im confused....

If I understand that right it sounds like you guys are playing some sort of game with each other.

Maybe you need to sit down and have a good conversation with each other and figure out where you stand. If she isn't willing to set aside time to talk about how your feeling, then she isnt worth it anyway.

alizeblu · Apr 4, 2007, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmptitantic

Hey
alizeblu, to be honest im not 100% sure because she does kinda get angry when i try to talk about teh relatioship and how she feels and whats going on. I love her but i do not want that to blind the reality of it. I mean we still do alot she affectionate mostly outside or in from of people. Here is a interesting story last night she called me at 4 in the morning she was at a friends house late since its spring break this week for her. So i see the missed call and called her back at 7am she was sleeping and didnt answeer so she called me at 12 and when i called her back at 12 30 we were talking and i asked why she called me at 4am she said she didnt and it was teh phone again "wich does happen often." so i said i called u by accident also than she said i have to go and hung up. I just feel like she being nasty alot lately. Last weekend we went to her parents house to eat this weekend were going to a b-day for my brothers kid and than sunday to my grandma for easter cause we be doing all this but still not be right??? im soo lost

shes being defensive, theres your answer, obviously there IS a problem, if she is not mature enough to except that you are trying to benefit the relationship by talking it out with her, shes being childish.

what is your GUT feeling about all this? because that ultimatley, is probably what you have to do.

alizeblu · Apr 4, 2007, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sypher373

Im confused....

If I understand that right it sounds like you guys are playing some sort of game with each other.

Maybe you need to sit down and have a good conversation with each other and figure out where you stand. If she isn't willing to set aside time to talk about how your feeling, then she isnt worth it anyway.

yea thats what he needs to do, we know this, so does he, hes just saying that when he wants to talk she gets mad, and starts being defensive. this is not a good sign.

cmptitantic · Apr 4, 2007, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alizeblu

yea thats what he needs to do, we know this, so does he, hes just saying that when he wants to talk she gets mad, and starts being defensive. this is not a good sign.

here is were i get confused, she just called me back i didnt answer and she sends me a text mssg and starts talking to me like nothing. So I just told her Im buisy since im at work and ill talk to her later. Im not sure if u call it defensive or what but she does get upset and explains that we talked about this allready and there no need to go over it again. She told me im just looking for reason to arguee........

alizeblu · Apr 4, 2007, 11:24 AM

yea thats being defensive, you arent looking for a reason to argue! you just want to talk to her! why is she being like this? this is the questions you need to have answered. you have to talk to her, its called communication, if she doesnt want to communicate, then theres a serious problem here.

cmptitantic · Apr 4, 2007, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alizeblu

yea thats being defensive, you arent looking for a reason to argue! you just want to talk to her! why is she being like this? this is the questions you need to have answered. you have to talk to her, its called communication, if she doesnt want to communicate, then theres a serious problem here.

ya i hear ya. im not sure exactly what to do meaning go with it for a while or try to push the issue more...