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Girlfriend Thinks I'm Playing Mind Games Blew $170,000 on her
Hey everyone,
I have this situation. I just broke up with my girfriend of almost 3 years (this september) and she thinks that I am playing mind games that everytime I am around her I get text messages or a phone call in the middle of the night as we still hang out with each other. She thinks that I am doing this to cause "suspicion" which is totally crazy because when we were together these things happened although not as much.
So now monday was the last day i spoke with her as I am trying to start no contact. So she finally called this morning and said I was playing games by not contacting her because she felt that I thought it was to get her to call me. I actually was trying to get past her.
We had been living together and after my father died i blew almost $170,000 (an inheritance) in this relationship and when the money runs dry we started having all kind of problems. She would show put her bills on the fridge sometime for me to see, and always would say i was selfish. What really put the icing on the cake was this one phone number kept calling in the middle of the night and she wouild lie and say its the wrong number. Howvever after I checked the phone while she was in the shower, it was a boy's number saved under a girls name, as that person had sent him a text SAYING her name.
So finally after 4 weeks of pressing this issue, she wouldnt tell me who it was, where she met this person, how they met, she would just say "I dont have to tell you that. You dont know all my friends" but i think that was bull. What caused the suspicion is that she had a line on my phone and i could see all the numbers dialed on the phone bill. This ONE number was brand new and the calls were lik 50mins long during the day. Had no consideration for the phone bill and now its at $1,500. Her excuse for not helping with the bill was that I never showed her the bill. I payed all the rent. as she said she was struggling which was $965 a month. So after all tyhe questioning about this number she decides to hop up, AND GET HER OWN PLACE without telling me until AFTER she signed the lease on the same day. She said I was being emotionally abusive by not trusting her which is a QUACK. Its funny now she can afford $650 a month on her own, but coulnt afford $300 a month which was all i was having her pay. She is now struggling (go figure) and is mad at me cuz i wont help out. But we still have sex and hold hands etc until last week when my phone started ringing a lot and i was texting to my friends which caused her to think i was playing mind games. THIS is why i stopped talking to her as of Monday, ALTHOUGH WE HAVE BEEN BROKEN UP SINCE JUNE 5, 2007. It really didnt seem like it. I am REALLY trying to get over this. I keep tosing and turning thinking about if she is having sex with someone at the moment or what she is doing and it is KILLING ME. I want to contact her and i get a STRONG URGE even today but I want her to realize the mistake she made.
If you guys could help with advice, please assist....................thanks guys and girls
It sounds like there were two things going on here - You probably wanted to "buy her love" while you had the money, and she let let you by using your money to prop up her lifestyle.
She's playing games with you, probably becuase of her guilt over using you for your money.
You ARE playing games - A game of "who has the power" in this relationship. Even though you feel you should have power - given the enormous amount of money you spent, your behaviour has given the power... You won't get it back by playing games, so be clear with her and cut all contact.
i blew almost $170,000 (an inheritance) in this relationship
Ain't that much love in the world, to make a guy blow his money, and she moves out, and YOU still see the chick??? This isn't love, and tell her ADIOS.
well i didnt tell her not to contact me you are right. I still answer her calls when she calls. I just don't call her. I let her call me. I dont get how that is playng mind games. I don't want to be needy by contacting her, thats why i let her contact me. what do you think
Do you guys think its playing a gam when you dont call her, but let her call you. Now if i dont call her, im starting to think maybe she will think I don't care about her
I think you've learned some hard lessons here. You should have done no contact from the get-go. Do it now and don't let her manipulate you. Change your number if you have to. Don't respond to any of her e-mails, texts or IMs. Use your software filters to block her screen names. The longer you wait to do this, the harder it's going to be.
She should make the money on her own!! It's a shame she is so depend on you! Money can't buy love, she needs to grow up and be a reasonable woman! I am sorry for that, but I think you need to tell her that she needs to better herself, she really needs to do it NOW!
She's spoilt. You may have spoilt her, or she may have been spoilt already, but you certainly didn't help. Tell her not to contact you, tell her you won't contact her. Get her out of your life and move on.
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