Girlfriend says she's not sure if she loves me anymore?

That's such an awful thing to hear from someone you love, I can't say how she feels but I can say that I have went through this "phase" too, I get days when I'm wondering do I really love my boyfriend or do I really know what love is? I think everyone goes through this so hopefully it is just a phase, I'm sure its really hard right now waiting and its not very fair on you, you just need to give her that time and keep yourself busy, more than likely she's going to miss you, its been 5years after all, maybe you could do something really romantic? To show her that no matter how long you both are together something romantic can and will always happen every so often, its easy for the first year of a relationship because its the "honey moon" stage, your busy getting to know each other and having fun doing it, then after a year is when you have to "work" at your relationship, you need to be a team and try and keep it fun at times too and try not forget the romance by getting stuck in a rut, keep it fun and mysterious, a little surprise here and there...hopefully you get to show her your new efforts,

Hi , what you need to do is start making more of an effort in the sense of making her feel more appreciated , the reason why she is saying those things is not because she means it , it is because she is feeling under appreciated , this is why people are unfaithful to each other etc because they are trying to gain the feeling of that extra special appreciation that a man has for his woman well before he is used to having sex with her then men tend to start under appreciating them lol it is true! I realise money is tight in these credit crunch times but you can show your appreciation in other ways petals on the bed and a cheap bottle of bubbly in a bucket with ice you get my drift, dress up , have fun, and don't fall into the trap of letting temporary doubts haunt your relationship, just take it as not her saying she doesn't want you any more she just wants things not to be boring are to serious even the longest relationships are successful because they are light hearted and keep the fun and spark in the relationship, good luck

I think what she's doing is very selfish an not very mature, or considerate.

After five years, the 'spark' should have turned into more of a simmering fire. 'Sparks' don't last, love does. Saying it is a 'phase' she's going through, and she's not sure if she loves you anymore, and needs 'space' to figure it all out, is just bullfeathers. Excuses.

She's in, or she's out. There is no in between phase where you need time to decide whether or not you can 'settle' for what you have. She should know, without a doubt, if she loves you or not. There is no question if you love someone, and have built a long relationship over five years.

I would not personally accept what she says, without conditions of my own. There has to be an end to your agony, and you should probably, in my opinion, define the boundaries with her. To allow her to decide your fate, based entirely on her need for space to figure out if she loves you or not, makes you totally dependent upon what she decides, and when she decides it.

As hard as it is, you do know some things. The most important is, she is not sure if she loves you. If she is not sure, then she doesn't love you. Love is not something that is undefined. It is, or it isn't.

Please don't let your life be dictated by how she has redefined the relationship. Think long and hard about how you are being treated, and that it is possible that while you may love her very much, she does not feel the same. Otherwise, she would stay in the relationship and work on the problems.

For your own piece of mind, I would tell her that you are not going to continue to go through this torture for much longer, and give her a time frame. Tell her, that you need to know if she is willing to work on the relationship, and you need to know that if she is, she won't bail on you again because she needs 'space'. Perhaps set a month. If she is still unsure, then I would consider the relationship over.

She can't throw 'love' around and turn your life upside down waiting for her to love you again. If she cannot sort herself out in a month, then I would move on.

hmm forget what i said LOL this hits the nail on the head...well said :)

After 5 years, you would think that the two of you have a better communication system in place.

It's time for you to stand your ground. She's either in or out (like Jake said). You don't need to put up with her indecisiveness. After 5 years, you deserve a definite answer.

That being said, you're just going to have to wait for her to make a decision, but you should definitely let her know that you want more of a definite answer, rather than anymore "I don't knows". You deserve better treatment from her part and keep that in mind when you talk to her. It's not fair to you that she's leaving you hanging in the air.

When they ask for a break, give it to them and disappear from there lives. The red flag to pay attention to, SHE RATHER BREAK UP THAN RESOLVE THE PROBLEMS through HONEST COMMUNICATIONS. .

This always means that she is no longer willing to work with you, and so has changed the program you are use to, without your consent, input, or opinion. Change yours too, and don't wait for her program to work for you, get your own program that works for you, without her being a part of it.

Now you can sit and wonder what she is doing, and waste time, and energy being miserable, and prolong the agony of being hurt, and rejected, and looking for reasons why, or you can leave her alone, and heal, while you regroup, and get your own thing to do. Its your call.

The important thing I think is, she decide without your influence, hence DISAPPEAR! She will let you know when she makes HER decision, and figures things out for herself.

I am going to try the romantic gesture route but to me it seems like I am the only one trying to save this relationship. She seems to avoid me and seems to want to spend more time with our housemates than she does with me.

Thanks for the help everyone, I feel a lot better for getting this issue off my chest!

And please if anyone else has any suggestions, please contribute! I am still not sure on how to deal with this situation and would appreciate the input.

You answered your own problem. It's completely one sided.

Heart says yes, pangs in the tummy say do it .. HEAD SAYS NO!

Listen carefully ......

Why would you try to be romantic with someone that's avoiding you and would rather be around your house mates? Are they guys, or gals?