Well To Give A Little Heads Up On What Happened... Before We Were Dating She Knew Most Of My Family For A While And Thats How I Met Her. Well We Were Dating For About 6-7 Months And Then Out Of The Blue She Said She Is Getting Too Stressed Out With Her Issues In Her Life And My Insecuritys . Now I Havent Contacted Her At All But She Will Send Me A Text Message Saying Hi And Little Stuff Like That.. Now It Has Been A Week And A Half And Its Now My Birthday And She Called Me And Said That Her, Her Mom And My Family Are All Taking Me Out.. I Was Kinda Shocked To Hear All That And Afterwords I Realized That Its Gonna Be A Little Ackward At Dinner. Do You Think It Would Be Right To Try To Contact Her Before Dinner And Talk About Our Relationship? I Just Wanted To Ask Her If Were Taking A Little Break Or We Are Done, Because I Still Have Alot Of Feelings For Her And Care About Her Alot And It Will Just Twist My Heart To Be Around Her And Not Be With Her. I Dont Think I Could Be Friends With Someone I Was That Close To. Should I Wait Till After Dinner? Any Other Advise I Could Use Before I Go To Dinner And What To Do After The Situation??

Geoffersonairplane

You are actually right in wanting an understanding of what is happening here..You need to know if this is a permanant break or just a temporary split while she has some space to herself to work things out.

Also, I think it is really a good thing that you understand the extreme difficulty in trying to maintain any friendship with someone you care so much for.

She sounds a bit confused and perhaps something is pushing her away. Communication may be key here but also don't smother her too much or put any pressure on her. This will push her further away. Giving her space may be the ingredient that is required here.

I'm not entirely sure about whether you should bring this up before the dinner or after, either way, you are going to have to deal with this. If you ask her before, you might spoil the dinner and if you ask her after, it will just be playing on your mind throughout the dinner and her Mum and your family might suspect something is wrong.

Stick around on here and you will get further advice!

valinors_sorrow

I have a question here.... how did it go from dating to an exclusive relationship with major feelings involved and was this a mutually felt and agreed upon thing? As far as I can see, you were and still are dating..... unless you don't care to date her anymore? As for the dinner, its a group thing so she feels a little safer with you perhaps? If a guy got too heavy too fast just dating a girl, I would advise her to do exactly what she did. Back up and attempt a regroup with some brakes applied.

You may be making uneccessarily heavy going of this when dating isn't about that. And if it was a relationship, well too much too fast is usually fatal, I am sorry to report to you. One only needs to read a few dozen threads here to see that.

ilovcali

Yeah, but it's pretty hard to just "date" someone for 6-7 months don't you think? At least for me, that's a pretty long time for just "dating". Were you guys dating other people at the same time? Then val is right.

Otherwise, I think 6-7 months of exclusive dating requires 2-3 months of no contact once the ball's been dropped. Meaning don't talk about the relationship at all until a couple months at least. And if you can handle seeing her without getting emotional (which is near impossible for most people) then go for it. Otherwise, no contact at all. And especially on your birthday. It's a day you want to enjoy, not end in some dramatic episode with your EX.

Also, this is not the advice others will give you, but in my opinion all relationships are different and each has it's own flow. In some cases you can experience the emtions and intensity in 2 months which may require 2 years or never be felt with someone else. Sometimes a connection is very strong. But in general, it is safe to say that slow is better than fast for relationships. But that does not mean that in certain circumstances fast will not work. Sometimes people just click and keep on clicking. Nothing wrong with that.

That's just me though.

rol

I Would not bring up the relationship at all. Go there have a great time, talk to her family, laugh , make jokes, let her see waht a great guy u are who is not insecure!! and let her wonder why u didn't ask to get back with her!!Leave with a smile on ur face and let her contact u the next time!!!! or wait a month before u contact her.

volcomfox1284

SORRY WE WERE PAST THE DATING THING A WHILE AGO. WE WERE IN THE RELATIONSHIP FOR 6-7 MONTHS

rol

ok so go tonight and be strong, make jokes as i said , tease her, laugh, tell her some exciting things u have been doing this week(mysteriously!!). Let her think "oh he seems so fine without me" then you will have her calling again, i can bet.

Do not in any way ask her whats going on or that u are sad or anything like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that will make her run to the nearest exit!!!!!!!

rol

and dont go there all nervous looking, when you meet her be confident!!!! and happy!!!!!!!

ilovcali

I wouldn't bet on that. Don't expect anything. You'll feel much better without any expectations. Expectation lead to heartache. Personally, I'd avoid here, because you'll always have expectations of her which is normal. And when she doesn't deliver what you expect, you'll just feel unnecessarily bad or angry.

And please remember, the advice here maybe good, but advice is much easier to hear than follow. In the case of emotions, people often times do the worng thing, even when they know what the right thing is. Avoid her, then you won't have to worry about what you're doing or how to act. You shouldn't have to watch your step on your birthday for some girl who DUMPED you which is the reality of it all.

She's being nice and friendly with you, but you still want her as your girlfriend. Those two things at this time cannot mix. I will bet $1000 on this for sure, that she is being NICE, but is not doing this to be your girlfriend again; at least not now.

Wildcat21

NO TOUGH QUESTIONS DUDE!!!! NONE - I am quite sure that's wha thas gotten you in trouble to begin with. NONE!!!

Be the fun guy - go out to dinenr and laugh. Be the guy you were when you first met.

For get those tough questiosn - ALL THEY DO IS PROVIDE PRESURE!!!! WOMEN HATE PRESURE!!!!

iF YU WANT HER BACK - NO TOUGH QUESTIONS EVER. Don't be so available - and quit being so needy - me naren't needy - she never wants needy and insecure.

Go and have fun at diner - LAUGH - no expectatiosn what so ever.