Hiya guys and ladies. First let me say I have been searching countless posts and words cannot explain how much you people help in difficult situations like these, providing a free service with trueful answers and advice, you are all a bloody credit to everyone.

Anyway, I've just decided to sign up so I can explain my situation (although some others are similar) and hopefully get your truthful advice with the experience you people have all had.

So here goes...

I have been with my girlfriend for just 3 months, we were friends before and I know it was wrong but she had a boyfriend who was my friend and me and her had sex under his nose and we were together for a week until he found out. Please from this moment do not judge me in anyway, I know I have done wrong and I have learnt a very very very good lession from this, I was 20 and I just basically fell for this girl, I was single for almost 3 years and I still was a virgin, so I seen this girl as a way out.

Anyway, I started to fall for this girl, I was in love with her, it could have been the fact that I haven't been with a gir for so long but it felt great. We were going everywhere together, different places, sleeping over her place every weekend, having sex when the parents where out, always touching each other, hugging and everythink people in love do. I use to ask her, don't you miss your ex (they were together for 2 years) and she kept saying I don't think about it.

However then we started to argue a little during 2 months in our relationship, we were playing mind games on each other, to see who will ring first, who would apologise first after a argument, although we both always just wanted to pick up the phone and talk but we both were being stubbon. However I think our relationship was doomed from day one by how we met and the ex was always in the picture, I found out 2 months in our relationship that she was talking to her ex and trying to get support that she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, not with him, me, nobody. She asked to be just single and that's it, nothing more.

I found this out of course and asked her repeatly, "whats going on", and she said that we never argues when we were friends and I feel that we may have jumped to quickly in this relationship and she needs time out and think about things and sort her head out.

However I kept asking her, "what have i done......what could have i done better to make you happy?". She said, "you did make me happy, but i feel im too young to think that im going to be with someone forever, and i need to know what i want in a man, not saying your not that man, because you could be, but its because im so confused i dont know what i want".

And I just kept asking countless questions because I felt hurt, (I know, I know I shouldn't but I didn't know all this at the time, I just wanted her back). I even went down to her parents when she was at work (me and her mom got on good together, lol) and asked her what's going on? is their another lad? has she just not attractive to me anymore? was it because of the silly arguments? WHAT!!

She just said that she didn't know what was going through her head and that maybe she just needs some time for herself to understand what she really wants, she's always been in a relationship and she just wants to be single for a while. I asked her, "If she can just tell me that she doesnt want to be with me, or is not interested, then i will be fine and i will go on my way but she issnt saying it, she keeps leading me on, i just want to know, it will make me go forward.

She asked her daughter and her mom phoned me and she said, "That she just wants to be single and sought her head out, and maybe in 6-12 months from now maybe we could get back together".
When we broke up she kept saying in texts "maybe this won't last forever" and "One day we might get close again and that", "maybe we can get back together when I'm not a little girl anymore" and "if you can wait for me long enough until I sort this out, I'll get back with you".

But what's going on, why do women need space and sort things out in their heads? It don't make sense, if you love someone then YOU DO NOT WANT THEM TO GO. PERIOD. I know she doesn't want to get back with the ex because she has told this exactly to him and said I just want to be alone and sort this out.

Im so sorry for this long post, but I just wanted to explain everythink, I just want the truth. Without it I'm just living in fairlyland. Tony.

Before I answer I have to say I disagree with some of your post, that's just me and my stupid morals catching up with me :-)

"if you love someone YOU DO NOT WANT THEM TO GO.PERIOD."
Yes and no. sometimes life gets in the way, and maybe she does need time to figure things out, she cheated on her ex with you, it's the same as anyone in a relationship, when it ends the person needs time to ajust and get used to not having that person in their life anymore, she didn't do that, she jumped straight into things with you. She may love you, but she needs time to think and to be alone and to get over her ex.

Maybe it was all too rushed for her, maybe you came on too strong,maybe she has other plans in life/work/school/study and she doesn't have time for the level of commitment you had after three months together.

You need to give her time, you need to get on with your life in the meantime, meet other people, go out with friends etc, as there is a possibility things may never happen with her, I'm not saying that's the case, I'm saying its possible.

Patience is a vertue...

Thanks.

Well she got mad because the other day I went behind her back and asked her ex boyfriend that, "is she trying to get back with you, i heard rumors that a friend seen you together holding hands". I know its stupid but I guess love turns people into this sometimes.

Its been 2 weeks since we have broken up, we have been chatting since then, online, texts and to reply to her message I just mention was,
"that i shouldnt have contacted him but i did so to just settle our differences and to apologise for a "so called friend" like me did to him. And said that if ever he wanted to get back with her (or visa versa) I wouldn't mind because I won't be here much longer. (I have to go away on the 17th June to pass my royal navy basic training 8 weeks) and now I just want to focus on MY life and MY career.

I hoping to leave her on this note and have NO CONTACT WITH HER while I go away to do my basic training, hopefully she will come round by then but I'm not putting any money on it. Are these good words to end on?

This is stupid! Time to focus on you sailor boy. You might have been simply a rebound for a girl wanting to get out of a boring relationship, you came along and lust took over. But whatever that's all about its over, your going on an eight week training course so concentrate on that, your life, your future. When the time is right, probably after your navy stint is over you will meet someone. Take advantage, you will be seeing the world, having the most amazing experiences, so live your life for now, there's plenty of future left for that special someone to come...

Omg jiser, thanks man. I guess you have knocked some sense into me. I guess being with this girl would ruin my royal navy experience (seeing the world, traveling to different countries, living abroad, etc) I guess she will just be a burden when I'm actually in. But I must admit it is DAMM HARD at the moment to forget about her, I guess as soon as 17th comes I'll be thinking more clearly, Thanks man you kind of gave me that slap in the face that I need to wake me up.

Glad I could help. It will take time to get over her, it does in most breakups long or short. Frankly though I think you'll be to busy concentrating on your new life, your new friends and your training course to be bothered about some girl. The world is your oyster right now, go take from it.

"The world is your oyster right now, go take from it." Powerful words man, I think I should use them in my everyday life. Thanks man.

If you want you can check out my video:

YouTube - Royal Navy Introduction

Its on YouTube explaining what I will be doing shortly in the royal navy.
But anyway thanks jiser, just by saying those little words you have kind of change my thinking, many thanks. Anthony.

Lol good stuff matey! Keep us updated here with your latest videos, Ill be a keen follower. As they say: 'go get them tiger!'

All the best.

Yea jiser I will man,
I have just shortly used this website so I don't know any people, except yourself, so if you want and if you have a YouTube account you can subscribe to me (on youtube) and I will post new videos on my royal navy life. Wow I'm not talking about my ex for a change, its time I look after ME for a change! Cya guys! And best of luck.