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Me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost a year now. She is very loveable and a loving person. i have no problems with her except one problem.
I intend to marry her but so far i cannot see what her contribution will be financially to our relationship. We go out all the time, to lunch & Dinner and not once has she ever picked up the tab or even suggest that she picked up the tab or even offer to help pay the tab.
Even when we are home and go to the grocery to get some stuff to cook. i always pretend that i have little money with me or just enough and not once she has said if you don't have enough i have some you can use. This has never happened.
This Worries me and Scares me. She had also asked me for a very expensive Christmas gift. We have not been together for a year and she wanted a gift costing $3000 for Christmas. I don't think this will work out since i work very hard for the money i earn. Its not like i dont have enough cause i earn $220 a day but i need to know somehow what if we get married i have to pay all the bills.
Seems to me a budget would have been worked out before she moved in, but its not to late to have a straight, and honest conversation, about finances, and lay out the budget. Seems to me she is stashing a few bucks away, but you will never know unless you ask. You spoiled her, so unspoil this female. I can't say if she is a keeper or not, that depends on how she reacts to your reigning in of the financial responsibility. One thing to remember, be fair, as females have to shop, for themselves, and family. When my wife stopped working for the kids sake, we had less money, but we shared what was left after bills so we could at least do what we wanted, again a budget. I would say if she goes along with the program, fine, but $3000 for a christmas gift. Heck no! Christmas has its own budget. Keep that ring in your pocket, until all the details are ironed out. Next lecture, BABIES, and the stay at home mom.
My ex boyfrind was the same i paid for everything Mortgage,council tax,gas,electric,water,insurances,food,clothes,sch ool dinners,birthdays he paid for nothing my fault in a way i let it happen let this be a warning do not marry her she wants a easy life and someone to pick up the bill get shut
Every one of us is different. Different believes, cultures, etc....There are men out there that pay for everything. Let her find one that does. Clearly, you are not a match.
I think on this forum everyone always says leave them and the person is always in the wrong and u deserve better etc.. but I feel personally us Americans esp give up way to easy... I think you can try communicating with her about how you feel about finances and talk about ur future.. and then take ur answer from that! Maybe she is just use to a man doing for her.. not necessarily taking advantage!! Come on people give people a chance... We are not born into knowing how to handle a relationship.. it takes some good communication and building. But since in this post your stateing u dont think its going to work out.. those scream out that yes its prob over.
I think on this forum everyone always says leave them and the person is always in the wrong and u deserve better etc.. but I feel personally us Americans esp give up way to easy... I think you can try communicating with her about how you feel about finances and talk about ur future.. and then take ur answer from that! Maybe she is just use to a man doing for her.. not necessarily taking advantage!! Come on people give people a chance... We are not born into knowing how to handle a relationship.. it takes some good communication and building. But since in this post your stateing u dont think its going to work out.. those scream out that yes its prob over.
I Really dont mind speaking to her about it but what i am scared is gonna happen is that she will change for a while and when i get the ring on her finger and she settles into a comfort zone it will all re-appear slowly but surely. I have tried in many ways to get my answer and she fails me everytime. No matter how i test her she always fails
Don't put the ring on her finger until you are absolutely one hundred percent sure that you want to marry her. I don't think you're ready for marriage. If you really wanted to marry this girl then you wouldn't be asking if you should. When the time comes you will know.
We only know what you've told us and from what you said she is a spoiled little princess in search of her rich prince, you either accept her as she is (because she isn't going to change) or you move on and find the person you were meant to be with.
If you have to test someone to see if they will fail you then you don't have a relationship to begin with. Stop testing her and let her go, she'll eventually find the poor sap that will give into her every whim, it doesn't have to be you.
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