At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
This is my first time in these forums...I was hoping some of you could shed some light on my situation ..I have been having some trouble with..I won't get into all the details but I will give you a brief run down.
My girlfriend and I were dating steady for close to 5 months... we were friends before that. Everything was going 100% ... we rarley argued and shared many common interests.... we also got along very well with the parents. I was also very good to her and was always there for her. Until recently she came to me and said she needed to take break from the relationship. She said she needs time to figure things out. Should I avoid all contact with her? Even though there were no problems or we never fought ? But I always showed her respect, she said nobody ever treated her as well as I do...and she doesn't want to put me though any b/s while she figures things out. Before she left we said she loves me very much.
I am confused...at 1st I contacted her now and then via msn and emails...she keeps saying how bad she feels about doing this..but it's something she has to do. I told her I want to give her the space she needs and I respect her decision. I hope things work out for us ....Should I avoid all contact ?? I just find it hard since we talked daily and communicated well.
NO CONTACT. Everyone will tell you exactly the same thing. She has told you EXACTLY what she wants. And that sucks, but she WANTS YOU OUT of her life. So do that.
The thing is, SHE'S ALREADY LEFT YOU. She's gone! You just don't want to ACCEPT it. I know it's so hard. IT IS SO HARD. But you have no other choice.
Plus, if she felt SO BAD, she wouldn't have left. She's taking care of HER NEEDS, HERSELF, not worrying about your needs, or YOU! What you wish for is to be in that, healthy relationship that you THOUGHT you had with her. She WON'T, ISN'T, CAN'T give you that.
She won't give you what you need, and you DIDN'T give her what she needed. IT SUCKS. NO ONE DOUBTS THAT. But talking to her won't do a thing. NOT A THING!
You say you respect her, and want to give her space. You haven't done that yet. And honestly, there is no advice, no guidance, nothing in my opinion that will BRING HER BACK. NOTHING. If that happens, it will happen if she wants it to. And then, YOU have the decision to make, is it worth a 2nd shot?
Just remember, no matter what you were before you dated, SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND NOW!!! Friends don't LEAVE their FRIENDS. She LEFT, she's NOT YOUR FRIEND.
You won't be able to FORGET her now, but stop all contact. People NEVER FORGET, they just distance, and eventually, DISTANCE LEADS TO INDIFFERENCE. And then you have moved on. Step 1, STOP ALL CONTACT.
Trust me, I am hoping INDIFFERENCE towrads my ex is around the corner. I hope it's coming soon. You have to start wanting that too.
Trust me i was in your shoes just about 2 month ago and thank god i came on this forum.
Well to make things short it was another guy and i could still have the bitter taste in my mouth, but non the less, you have to CUT ALL CONTACT. i did and its going well.
I miss her like hell but its only a matter of time till things get better, convince yourself of that and your life will get better a lot quicker..=)
Do not be confused...rather you wait until you both are married and she said ...we need a break...give her that break ...she has broken up with you...it hurts I know...your stomach and your heart are physically in pain...I now... you gave it your all...good guy...but understand this ...if she had broken off with you in a nasty and disrespectful tone...then your relationship was not going that well in the first place...she is still pleasant with you...a nice ending ...now go and find someone else...this one was fine...but there are others out their waiting for a someone like you...say ...I accept the challenge! and then ....run ...baby run...
thanks for all your replys.... I really appreciate the input. I think your all pretty well bang on the money......It's been close to a week with no contact...and I was considering it this morning but held back... Just to say a bit more as well... she also said she felt as if she jumped into our relationship a little too quickly ... after she broke up with her ex... perhaps she isn't over him and is considering going back ? I know he has a better career than I do ...more$$ and such...which bothers me.... if that's why she's going back then that's pretty sad... she broke it off with him becasuse he was neglecting her...and I gave her what she was looking for. She said she may realize breaking with me is the biggest mistake she has ever made.... but I guess I will let her figure that out and move on. I just find it hard that such a sweet girl can turn around and leave like that.... thanks for letting me vent.
Yes , he did ask to get back with her ...this was little while ago and she talked to me about it.... I just have a hard time picturing her with someone else right now ...it kind of makes me boil actually...as far as taking it slow I know your right about that... she was the one always calling me at work and such ..it felt great... I know we got caught up in eachother pretty quickly and kinda of forgot about who we were as individuals.. and talked about it . and gave one another more room. All of this information is making me look at it from a different angle .....yet I am not going to discount the possibility of us getting back together ...I really need to move on... I just hope she won't think of me negatively if I try to forget about her... because I still do care for her...
Linear Mode
