Girlfriend Left, what do I do.

Her feelings changed and she ain't into you but doesn't know how to express it. Hey it was fun while it lasted, but let it go and accept it and keep your dignity and self respect, by bowing out gracefully. What are you 15 or something? First girlfriend?

Everybody knows that after a proper time to heal, you will find someone, or something else to fill the void. You just have to get over the shock first.

Well to make it more confusing I have asked her what happened. How could those feelings just disappear. And she told me they hadn't. Again with the not how it's supposed to be. Never been one for dignity. Although I do have a bit of pride and honor. And yes. First girlfriend. I know it was almost certain to happen that we broke up. But it still doesn't make any sense. And sorry to disappoint but I'm 17. Always been a little iffy on relationships. Which made this one special. I was going with no relationships before college and I fell for this girl. Hard. Who had apparently had a crush on me for a good half a year. A little slow on the dating game yes. Again, sorry to disappoint, always been the guy that just kind of watches as the drama unfolds. Feel like I don't belong anywhere. But finally found a place.

While it was special to you, it wasn't to her. Of course what goes on in her mind wouldn't make sense to you. But 3 months is plenty of time to decide she had enough. That's why you avoid the confusion, and leave her alone, and not dwell on the whys of a break up. They happen for any reason. Heck half the time none of us knows why our feelings change.

Okay you fell for her pretty hard, but its time to get back up, and get beyond this.

But it was specialto her. I know that. Over Christmas. I went down toflorida with my family. This was only two months into our relationship. I got her a nice bracelet for Christmas but she couldn't figure out what to get me lol. So all the time we where together she would joke how hard it was to find a gift to get me. And then she got an idea. She wouldn't tell me buy she went around and asked a lot of our mutual friends for ideas. So the day that I had to leave I went to her house for a bit, and then she gave me her gift. It was amazing. She had a gift and a handwritten letter for every day that we would be apart. And we talked almost every night. Even though we where a thousand miles apart. I was in two places at once that Christmas eve. With my family. And in her heart. As she was always in mine. Or so she said. It's so hard to move on. It may have been only three months but I saw myself spending a lifetime with this girl. I've noticed other girls yes. But this one has it all, an amazing smile, beautiful humor, a great body, and an amazing talent for making me feel like the happiest guy in the world. I would do anything to see that smile on her face again. And give everything for it to be because of me. I'm whatever she wants. And if that's a friend then that's what I'll be. But I can't get her out of my head. Only thing I want in the world is her

It was special to her for a while. I have to emphasize, until you realize that the special stuff is over, and you are caught up in a trap your feelings have made for you because the past is over, and the reality of NOW, is what counts.

But no worries, you will understand when the shock has past. Break ups do that to you.

I've never been one for reality. Always seems to suck. People murdered every day. Women raped. This world we live in, sometimes I just think it would be better just not dealing with it. Is all the hurt all the pain, the disappointment really worth putting up for the small joy life brings. Not to me at the moment. It's just a waste of my time. I'm the kid that kept to himself his entire life, sat in the corner of the class reading a book cause he didn't fit in with the class. I don't dress. "in" I don't act like the "cool kids" and so I just ignored people. Who cares. Why is a powerful question, ask yourself, why do you do what you do, why do you keep going on, and right now, I've lost my why. I may be seventeen but I know how I feel. How this world makes me feel. It makes me sad to be human. How pathetic people really are. I found something. I gave it my all. During the first month or so of our relationship, I would text her something funny sarcastically and she wouldn't answer for maybe a good 4 hours. And I kind of went, " ahhh I'm sorry" but it happens she just left her phone somewhere. So she made me promise, to trust her, that she wouldn't just leave out of the blue, not going to just let me go. And now I find it hard to trust anyone. To feel the way we did. And then. People don't make sense. And I'm tired of them. I can't do anything without thinking of her. Still love her to death, that really confuses me. People say, it will always get better, you will let go, it will just take time. I'm not sure if I want them to go. These memories. They cause me pain. But are still of the happiest time of my life. She wrote me a note one day, just some of the things she loved about me, when we first started going out. Page long. And I kept it in my wallet. I don't think I'm going to take it out. I don't want to fall for anyone else. I already gave her my heart. Don't want to give it to anyone else.

Sure there is a lot of negative in reality to be seen. But lets not pass over the good. There is a lot of that too. You seem not to be able to see that, and I can understand wanting to hold onto the good that has touched you for a while.

That was only a quick taste of the better things to be had, should you choose to explore it. That is your reality whether you accept it or not, in that you have choices you make within your own reality, and no one else's.

Elloganias,

Listen, most of us know what its like to have to go through a break up. We understand it sucks, and its lonely.

But you are just wasting your time by sitting back and still letting her have control over your life. Get out and do something. You are ticked off about some of the bad things going on in life, so what are YOU DOING to help besides just pointing out how life sucks. Why don't you get off your backside and go help the special needs children to just have a friend, or perhaps volunteer at the either the homeless or woman's shelter, help cooking or yard work or just being there. Why not volunteer to read to the elderly or yet again to the special needs that cannot read.

There is a lot that you can do as a mature 17yro man to assist in making this world a better place to live. There maybe other young people going through the exact pain you are but cannot handle it in a mature way as you, so why not put a ad in school newspaper to get some people together to just be able to talk about what they are going through, it doesn't have to be a break up, maybe its abuse at home, or death of a family member, etc...

Take care

I'm still not really sure what to do about the whole situation. At first she just wanted to not be together but to be really good friends. And I always told her yes I'd love to be good friends atthe very least but I still think we can talk about this. Don't really remember exactly what I said. So after a day or two I left her alone and just didn't talk to her or even try to make eye contact in the hallway. I wasn't sure what to do and my world was in shambles, falling apart in almost every way imaginable. And then a couple days ago. I texted her with "hey how are you" just trying to be friendly. Well that was my intention, not really sure how she took it. Obviously she didn't reply. But I found out later that she had un friended me on Facebook and blocked me. No idea why. Got me thinking. And I tend to over think things a lot, bear with me. I had never before tried to even talk to her over Facebook. So. Was it my message from me or was it just seeing my picture seeing me in general. In my fantasy world it's because she's trying to push me away, because she still really likes me but she's afraid to come back. She doesn't trust herself. But that's just me thinking positive. Then she texted me that same night. With hey. Like... I don't know. Just so confusing. I still don't want to let her go. I feel that if we talk about it we could solve anything. So.. Yeah. I don't know. I've talked to so many of my friends and her friends. And they all answered with.. What? After it happened. Completely unexpected and I'm still hoping it's just a dream. What's reality except for what perceive as reality.