Hi,

this is my first post - I don't know where to turn....

So, I've gone through my girlf's phone (she does it to me) and I've found a text from a bloke saying "Friday sounds great - see you then"!

Our relationship has been rubbish for a while with her threatening to leave, feeling unloved, shouting at me loads, there has been fights too.

We've got a beautiful daughter - she's one year old.

But I think this secret meeting is the straw that broke the camels back.

What do you think? Should I end this relationship?

Wildcat21

Yes. And tell her why. EXACTLY! Tell her you have caught her.

As I always say - TRUST and RESPECT - always or end it.

She takes you 1000% for granted.

Cheating is horrible - I feel 1000% that once a cheater, alway a cheater.

A.J.R

You just can't asume from the fighting and the one text that you happened to read is someone else. You might want to sit down with her and ask her what is really going on before you jump to any conclusions. How do you know she isn't going through something too stressful to be able to speak with you about. Sit down with her and let her know how you feel and let her know you two have something very beautiful that binds you, your beautiful daughter. I guessed I used to be like that and it got me no where. My ex-husband started acting the same way after a year of marriage. At the time my son was about a year old and I was pregnant with twins and suspected but never made it too obvious. Well in the end I gave up and stop harrassing him about another woman. I gave him my full trust again. He let me down. One night he decided to not to come home. Well come to find out he told everyone that if I could have stopped the screaming and acusing a little bit sooner he probably would have loved me the same, but because of my nagging him all the time and then trying to give him space he said he lost all love for me. Just try to sit with her before you get into another fight. You don't want her to just leave completely, especially if you have such a beautiful daughter as you say you do. I was lucky enough to find someone who loves me and my children, but then again there are people out there who will not except you as a partner if you have kids from a previous marriage. Just try to work things out before blowing things out of porportion. Good luck and God Bless.

Wildcat21

Yes - you do need to talk with her - but it sounds like the communications have been broken for sometime? and you found a smoking gun - also she turned to someone else as you turned her off.

s_cianci

Definitely end this relationship. There seems to be a lot of mistrust (going through each other's phones) and she obviously isn't devoted to you since she's seeing this other "bloke" and who knows how many others there have been? You'll have some legal battles ahead of you concerning your daughter regarding chid support, custody and the like. Try to keep a cool head and come to as much agreement on as many things as you can with her ; court time makes the attorneys' fees soar. Start with a simple consultation which, relatively speaking, won't cost all that much. Your attorney can advise you as to drafting up an agreement. Try to document any financial support you've provided to her and your daughter thus far so that you don't get hit with back child support or anything like that. Seek joint custody as this will result in your having to pay the least amount of child support.