Girlfriend/ex girlfriend doesn't want anything to do with me
Asked Jun 14, 2010, 12:43 PM
I have been dating this girl for over 3 years. She has 3 kids, the oldest is from her first boyfriend, the 2 youngest are from her ex husband of 12 years. Everything was good in the beginning we got along great and if we fought we would resolve it. I was friends with her ex husband before I got with her I didn't find out until a few wweks into our relationship that he was her ex. When he found out we were dating he got pissed and would talk about me to her and we almost fought once. From the beginning she said she would just talk to him about the kids but down the line she wanted to be "friends" with him. I could not understand why she wanted this when he burned her car, cheated on her numerous times, she found him in their bed with another girl when she was 9 months pregnant with their youngest child. I questioned her and all she would say was that she wanted to get along which I understood but it got tot the point that he would call her like at 2:30in the morning asking if she could pick him up down the street cause he got in a fight at a party (he is 30 and a gangmember). I got really mad at her for going to pick him up we were in bed asleep and she just got up and went to pick him up. Two weeks after this he called her again and shows up at the house, apperently he was at a party and him and his homies got shot at, they shot his foot. He was limping around the garage bleeding everywhere. Even though we didn't like each other I still tried to help him to stop the bleeding. He stayed for a 15 minutes and then left. I asked her why she kept doing this for this and she said she would help anyone friends or family. I asked her if she wasn't afraid that the people that shot him would follow him to house and then shoot up the house with the kids being there (their room faces the street). She said she hadn't thought of that.
One week later he shows up to her house out of nowhere right after a basketball game we were watching. He showed up with his sister to pick up a car my girl had been storing for one of his friends in the garage (I was mad about that too cause I used to park in the garage). I think that was the last straw for me, I had been drinking and that really made me mad. Wheb my girl came I asked why he just showed up were about to go in the pool she said her phone was off and he tried calling. She got mad that I was questioning her so she told me to leave because it was her house (she just bought a house but we lived together at the previous house for almost 2 years) she would always tell me to leave if we got in argument once she moved into her house and I felt like I was walking on "eggshells" when I was at her house. Anyway... when she told me to leave I just jumped the wall and when I landed I acciedently broke some pipe and water leaked out all night. She called me the next day to tell me and I felt really bad now she won't even speak to me anymore.
I feel like cause although we would fight and argue about dumb stuff I miss not being with her. I got along great with her kids and they would tell me they loved me all I would do the same. I would spend a lot of time with her and her kids even after I moved. I moved out thr e house we were at cause we broke last year but still hung out and did things as a couple even though we had "broken" up.
I spoke with her today cause I had not called her in a few days. She says she doesn't want anything to do with me and she wants to see what's out there. I felt like cause I still have feelings for her. She said she put up with my for too long but the only real problems we had were cause of her ex. She brought up that I promised to take her and the kids somewhere a couple months ago and never did it but it was only because I just started my own business and its not going that good and didn't have the extra money to take them but she didn't want to hear it.
I do not know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.