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    My girlfriend dumped me 2 years back and now she calls me how should I behave?

    Asked May 23, 2012, 04:07 AM 7 Answers
    My girlfriend dumped me for a guy 2 years back and just three days back I'm getting a call early morning from unknown number and its her finally calling me. We were in no contact for 2 years because she blocked me on FB and even my number. So was helpless to bring her back. Its already late she has fallen for another guy, she wants his new boyfriend back in her life because her new boyfriend has dumped her now.

    So she wants me to forgive her for leaving all of a sudden because she believes its my forgiveness that will cut the curse. Her new boyfriend is doing the same thing to my ex what my ex used to do to me like blocking and not picking up the calls. She's very sad now and she began talking to me with lots of crying. She told me to not wish that she would return back to me and even I do not know that given a chance do I want to get back with her after she left me? I'm not a punisher but more of a forgiver and I forgives her sometimes ago in my mind. She even called me a friend while she was crying and told me she has no friend around her. But I told her "I'm not your friend!" But in reality I do want to become her friend to get her out of this suffering and pain she's getting.

    I don't know what future we hold for each other. So people can you tell me how should I behave in this situation. Should I call her to check how she's feeling? Should I wish her on her birthday? By the way her birthday comes in just 2 days. Need help on this.

    Last edited by talaniman; May 23, 2012 at 12:34 PM.
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    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    May 23, 2012, 04:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mayku View Post
    My girlfriend dumped me for a guy 2 years back and just three days back I'm getting a call early morning from unknown number and its her finally calling me. We were in no contact for 2 years because she blocked me on FB and even my number. So was helpless to bring her back. Its already late she has fallen for another guy, she wants his new boyfriend back in her life because her new boyfriend has dumped her now. So she wants me to forgive her for leaving all of a sudden because she believes its my forgiveness that will cut the curse. Her new boyfriend is doing the same thing to my ex what my ex used to do to me like blocking and not picking up the calls. She's very sad now and she began talking to me with lots of crying. She told me to not wish that she would return back to me and even I do not know that given a chance do I want to get back with her after she left me? I'm not a punisher but more of a forgiver and I forgived her sometimes ago in my mind. She even called me a friend while she was crying and told me she has no friend around her. But I told her "I'm not your friend!" But in reality I do want to become her friend to get her out of this suffering and pain she's getting. I don't know what future we hold for each other. So people can you tell me how should I behave in this situation. Should I call her to check how she's feeling? Should I wish her on her birthday? By the way her birthday comes in just 2 days. Need help on this.

    Hey mayku,

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. There is no wrong in becoming friends with someone you've gone out with, and to be honest, the first step in doing so is forgiveness. If you've truly forgiven her then there is no reason to be ignorant to her. Give her the friend she needs, the shoulder to cry on or the person to talk to. She could probably use it right now.

    However, that it all easy if you have truly forgiven her. If she calls you and you have to ask yourself these questions,

    Should I call her to check how she's feeling? Should I wish her on her birthday? By the way her birthday comes in just 2 days. Need help on this.
    Then maybe you haven't forgiven her, and if you are to become her friend that is what must be done.

    If you can't bring yourself to forgive, friendship is not an option as you will only poison her current state, and make her situation worse.
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    mayku's Avatar
    mayku Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 23, 2012, 11:27 AM
    Hey mate I did called her up yesterday but I think she has switched back to some other sim card. I really want to be friends with her again and yes want to give her the shoulder she needs because I know the pain, can understand what she's going through and don't want her to go through all this suffering. I also want to call and ask her how she feels but she thinks I'm finding a way to get back in her life again. Also to add that we are not in the same place right now. She's 400 Kms away from where I'm right now. That is not a problem reaching to her. Thanks for your reply. Appreciate that.
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    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 1,978, Reputation: 551
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    #4

    May 23, 2012, 11:32 AM
    Go no contact again and move on, no point in reopening old wounds. Her problems are not your problems, don't let her drag you back into that vicious cycle.
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    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #5

    May 23, 2012, 12:22 PM
    Mayku,

    It's good to see that you are in contact, however, if she feels as if you are trying to get back into her life then maybe you should leave her be. You've already showed her that you're there for her, respect her and let her come to you for friendship now.

    Best of luck.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,095, Reputation: 10293
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    #6

    May 23, 2012, 12:41 PM


    Stick with NC my friend as you cannot save her suffering, as much as you would like to. That's up to her as it was up to you to deal with YOUr suffering when she left. Take this as an apology, and an affirmation she hopefully has learned something, and let it go.

    Maybe she found a closer shoulder to cry on, and that's okay. Leave it alone. People who reach out in weak, desperate moments may not have the best intentions, so don't get all wound up over helping her, or her freakin' birthday.
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    mayku's Avatar
    mayku Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 25, 2012, 11:54 PM
    Thank you guys for your replies... got to know some important points from all of you.
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    mrck's Avatar
    mrck Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Nov 3, 2012, 12:44 PM
    I can bet you are a pisces
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