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My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years. About early December last year she became very distant and that's when she admitted to me she does not feel anything more me any more. She kept things from me like she went out drinking with her friends one night so I would not get mad at her. Then finals were over and we were back at home for a month as happy as we could be, she said she loved me and we had a great time and everything was normal except for one fight where she freaked out over something stupid. Then we finally get to school again and she does the same routine where she ignores me and does not want to hang out with me/ avoids hanging out with me. Then after a week or so I ask why the hell are you not spending any time with me and ignoring my calls? She apologized crying said she was a bad girlfriend and said she needed to take a break. We took a break for a couple days and were still talking a decent amount, eventually I felt she wanted out so I said do what makes you happy, so I let her break up with me and it took her a while to do it because I was right in front of her and she didn't want to say it. Also mind you when we decided to take a break the first time she once again said she does not love me. But she says she cares about me than almost anyone and that she wants me in her life always. So it has been a week since we broke up, I tried texting her here and there about random things but she says every text msg and every time we talk kills her inside because she knows how much she has hurt me, mind you she has been starving herself and has lost more than 8lbs in the past week or so. There we was night after the break up when we talked on the phone both crying and she says she wants to get back together with me down the road and we both said we miss each other. It has been a week and I have been browsing through these forums and I feel like wow, I thought what me and my girlfriend has was special, she seriously wanted to marry me last year, but I feel like she is the same as every girl out there. So do you people think that this break up is for real and she wants to move on with her life? What should I do? I almost left out the most important part, when she broke up she said no sex with other girls... I mean do you think she said that just because she is hurting now or because she thinks we have a shot down the road? If we break up for good I am not staying as her friend and I will cut her out of my life.
Yeah we kind of subtly agreed not to date other people, because we both really need to be single. She is not mentally fit to handle another relationship now. Even if we were back together we would have the same problems as before, this break up is so we can find out who we are and fix our flaws. Then maybe down the line if we've both changed and are single and still friends, chances are we'll give it a go.
Your original posts sounds like how you really felt and how hurt you were/are, this post on the other hand looks like you copied off of her paper. It doesn't sound at all like you did in the first place. I could be wrong but I don't remember you saying you needed to be single I just remember her saying she doesnt love you anymore.
I hope you're being honest with yourself. If you didnt want the breakup it's ok to admit that.
If you don't want to be friends with her. It's ok to not be.
Alright man, based on your first post Id have to say I feel you. This same stuff happened to my relationship with my ex. For me, we were together for four years. Everything seamed perfect until shortly before winter break. She started to not act like herself but I thought it had to do with finals so I did not worry about it too much. Winter break came and she was fine again, everything seemed perfect.
After we went back to school (she goes to a different college not too far away) she became real distant this time. After week into the first semester she told me that she "needed space." My gut told me there was something wrong, but I loved and trusted her. I asked her if there was anybody else and she told me there was nobody. She always told me how much she loved me and that I was her best friend so I decided I would tough it out. She would call a couple times a week to talk (not about us being together though) but all the signs she was giving me made me feel like we would get back together in the near future.
The curveball is that I found out a couple days ago she has been lying to me the whole time, the day we went on our so called "break" was the day she started going out with another guy. She was lying to me and played me for a fool the whole time. She told me that I was her best friend and that she loves me. She kept me at the perfect distance, not too close, not too far. How could you love somebody and have them be your best friend, then leave them for somebody else? Thats what hurt the most, if she was honest about everything it would have been a lot easier and I would still have high respect for her. She was a coward and made this end on a bad note.
Im telling you this because when I read your story it sounds similar to mine and many others. What has happened to me and many other people on this site is likely the same that is happening to you. You heard of the saying, "you can't eat your cake and have it to." That directly applys to you. You need to have no contact with her. If you keep talking to her, she will have you right where she wants you, as a back up. The other thing that will happen is that you will push her away. Do not burn any bridges by leaving on a bad note, but give her all the space in the world to figure out what she wants. It will be hard, but its the best thing to do. If she loves you she will come back, but in the mean time focus on improving yourself.
Your not the first or the last to go through this. Read through this site and learn from others who have been though this. Think about what Isneezefunny said to you as well. This is my advice on the situation, what you do with it is up to you.
I've seen this situation a lot, engrce. It sounds like to me that she was happy with you and really liked you a lot. Then at college, she met another guy that she felt like she got along with a LOT better than she did/does with you.
So she's probably wanted to break it off with you and go out with this new guy. The problem is that breaking up with you is going to be harder than she originally thought. So she's trying to make it easier. She's the one making the rules that will ALLOW her to move on. It will be a hundred times easier for her if you promise to do what she asks and you don't see anyone new. If you do everything she asks, she'll move on to someone new a lot easier.
I seriously doubt that she wanted to break up with you out of nowhere. It doesn't follow the pattern that I've seen a million times. I'm willing to gamble my first born that this is what's really going on.
Nice on Eura...I agree, you play by their rules, they win every time....You play your game, things will get better for you. You think she isn't out with someone else? You're naive, as was I..but once you hear about it, it cuts like a knife and you're left standing there holding your heart wondering why did I wait around. Get back on the bike, find some new girls and have some fun!
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