how can i get my girlfriend back which we have a daughter, home, vehicle and basically everything together. we have been together for almost 3 years and have been through a lot and recently she said we are not meant for each other. that i dont appreciate her enough or show her enough attention. and no matter what i try to say doesn't budge her, she is almost just cold to me, no emotion when saying we are done. i want to try to fix the problem and show her how i really feel about her. i love her s much and we have so much invested in the relationship to not try to work this out. i want to go to a couple counselor but she refuses.

i have spent all day on the net searching "how to get your ex back" stuff and most says to have distance and stay cool. which in my case is very hard since we still live together in our house and have a daughter together that we take care of.

i also have been thinking of what went wrong and can say i have seen this coming for a while. but have not idea how to fix it. i try to do stuff to make her happy and smile but when i get home from work which is usually around 730pm, she is tired and laying down on the couch. i try to talk to her but doesnt talk a lot. then she watches tv with me in the living room for about an hour then off to bed since she we walk up so early to get our daughter to daycare.

please help me with what i can do to show her i can change and be that guy she first fell in love with all over again. i want to show her i can help spice up our life, if she will ever let me again.

talaniman

Don't talk about the relationship, talk about how your going to untangle the mess you have as you both are financially invested with each other.

Someone has to go, and thats what you need to discuss. That will at least show you the reality of a break up.

You can't walk around in limbo, with a partner that wont talk. And she can't expect you to leave, and help her with everything, thats not fair.

bw1128

why do you suggest that someone has to go? i just started not talking about the relationship because i dont want to lose her forever and she is having family health issues too. so i dont want to keep stressing her out. but we need to work this out, not now but eventually.

amicon

Unless you start communicating as two adults who want to be in a relationship TOGETHER someone has to go.
She,you say doesn't want to talk;how long do you want to keep hoping she'll change her mind?

Altenweg

Someone has to go because she no longer wants a relationship with you. It's not healthy for you two to keep living together, especially since she doesn't want a relationship and you want her back.

Sorry, there's no way to fix this, the ball is in her court and she seems to have made her decision, and that's the end things with you.

Most times we'd tell you to go to no contact, but seeing as you're still living together and have a child together, that's not possible.

She needs to find a new place to live, you need to settle your finances and custody and visitation of the child. Then you have to accept the fact that this is over.

Good luck.

ZoeMarie

Unfortunately, you live and learn. It sounds like communication was a big problem between the two of you. You said you saw this coming for a while. When you saw this coming is when you should have asked about relationship counseling. Sometimes things can't be undone. I'm sorry to be so blunt but there's no sense in giving people false hope.

For her to take you back she has to want to take you back. If you try to convince her you will only push her away. The best advice we can give you is advice on how to cope. Giving advice on how to win back an ex is usually counter-productive. I am very sorry you're going through all this.

kappachino

You dont say how old your daughter is? Maybe it could be PND? Has she changed since the birth? Best of luck....