My girlfriend broke up with me, I walked away to save my sanity
Asked Mar 8, 2009, 12:02 PM
I am sure that there are so many posts out there with similar stories but I am going to narrate mine (just in case there is something new or different here).
So, I met this wonderful girl 6 months ago through a common friend. We immediately fell for each other and 5 months had been great. She is far more expressive in emotions as well as physically than I am. I am kind of shy, speak less, don't say sweet nothings too much... I behave a lot like Peter Parker from Spiderman.. If you know what I mean.
To add to the complexity of our story, we are from different countries, and eventually will go back to our own countries. When we were together, I was trying to figure out if she would like to move with me to a different country, (US, Australia, UK depending on where my career takes me.. Forgot to tell you that I work in management position in a big firm so I travel all the time).
Last month, I told her that I might have to wind up from United States and move to a different country, but I would like to give our plan a try and start working on settling down in a 'neutral' country. She said that she needs time to think about it. And from here, things started going downhill.
She started getting pissed at me at everything. If I am in a meeting and can't pick up her phone, she blamed me for ignoring her. Then if I call her, she won't pick up the phone. A few weeks ago, she broke up with me, saying that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, but it is OK to be friends and talk. I accepted that, but I thought that if I meet her in person more often than it might change her mind. (forgot to mention that I get to see her only twice a month because we live in different cities and flight tickets are too expensive to make it every weekend).
So.. I went to meet her last weekend, without telling her that I am coming. I thought I would surprise her. Turned out that my uninvited visit didn't impress her. She had a party to go and she did go ahead with her plans, telling me that I shouldn't have come. Now for those who would say 'you shouldn't have gone without telling', I want to tell you that I have done this in the past, and she loved it.
Anyway, so yeah, I was in my hotel room watching tv all by myself and getting pissed for being treated like this. I met her next day and she was behaving alrite. Later during the evening, I dropped her back to her house and then called her from the airport. AGAIN, she was back to her irate behaviour and didn't talk to me nicely.
With that.. I thought, THIS IS IT.. And after two days of careful delebration, I decided to walk away. So I called her and told her that this situation is sucking happiness out of me, and I would like to get out of it. I am tired of being sad and thinking about 'what is going wrong' all the time. She said 'I understand'. With that, it was over. I have not talked to her, emailed her, txted her, or anything. Neither has she done anything of that sort.
Do I feel good? Hell no, I feel terrible and that's the reason I am here. Could I have changed anything to make it work? I think I can't. I tried everything from taking days off to go on a week vacation with her (which is another aweful thing.. I had to cancel the vacation plans just one week prior to the date).
Just girls out here may call me an for dropping the communication like this .. But ladies.. Please be merciful.. You don't know how it feels when your girl turns into an iceberg and tosses the flowers you carefully chose for her, in the backseat of the car ..
Advice1, stick around and talk to some of the other guys around here...and the girls too. There are a lot of guys that have, and are, going through just what you are. They are really helpful. They give their support, and many of them have even moved on to better relationships, so they can help you through it, or just be there to talk when you want to vent or scream! I know it's hard, but it will get better.
tough it out, until the next girl comes along, she's just a dog, a female dog
Dude.. We broke up..doesn't mean that she is a bad person or something.. She is a very wonderful person. Its just that it didn't work out between us.. Doesn't make her or me a bad person. .. Watch your tongue
So you got over a 7 year old relationship so do the same thing with this 5 month relationship. It is going to be much easier to heal. You have gone through bigger pain before.
The actions she made are really childish and immature.you go to visit her and she says I'm going to a party.ou no man.red flag here.it means disrespect.
About the words that cax11 said. Don't take them personally. Everybody has different ways to express theirself depending on what happened to them. I am saying this because my 3 year relationship with a girl I loved ended because she cheated and started liking another guy. I respected her so much and would never say a bad word for her even if I had a gun pointed in my head but for what she showed in the last moments of our relationship I can say she was a real bit*ch.so let people express theirself.most of them are going into so much pain.
When someone you love suddenly turns into an iceberg(like you said and that's the right word), its very difficult to deal with your emotions.because things changed so rapidly and you have to deal with the shock in the beggining.
But you have a good experience from a 7 year old relationship. I m pretty sure you are going to get over this quickly.
And finally ill say you some words that helped me to heal.....Whatever happened to you was just your destiny and whatever happens to you will be your destiny and you can do nothing to change it. So accept things the way they come and take it easy.
Take care... _someone_
_Someone_, although I agree that everyone has their own crosses to bear, I also think it's reckless for Cax11 to just come here and call this girl a dog..."a female dog". I found that very derogatory, and just plain rude.
This isn't somewhere to come and take out his frustrations on other peoples problems and the the problems they have with their ex's., while giving advice. That is what their own threads are for. His advice was not helpful, as I'm sure you realised. This shouldn't be about bashing women, or men for that matter. If it were, I would have a mouthful that would send your socks flying off your feet.
I know much about liars and cheaters. I've been to that rodeo.
Again, Advice1, I do agree with -Someone-, this was a very short term relationship, and they happen for a reason. Take your time to think about it, and then focus on better things. She was obviously not the one for you. You deserve better, and I'm sure you'll find it, and this will be a distant memory.
That was incredibly cruel of her to do. I know that you are undoubtedly kicking yourself for replying to her, and yes it was just another jab, just to get to you. I'm sorry to say that many women use this tactic just to get the last word in. This is the very reason to go NC. It just hits you right in the gut again.
So I keep coming back here.. Must be a millionth guy doing that..
So of course as I mentioned earlier in my post, I didn't call her back for 2 weeks. But then, I was in town for two weeks (I think I did mention that we don't live in the same city), and I felt aweful just to check out from the town without even saying hello.. So I did call her just to ask how was she doing.. No points for guessing, we decided to meet up for dinner and ended up in my hotel room until late morning..(no didn't have sex.. But came pretty close) ..
Since then she has been very lovey dovey and we have 'kinda' gotten back together.. She still doesn't want to say that we are in a relationship, but its more of a technicality. (e.g. She feels comfortable holding my hands in public or kiss me on my cheek, or stay in my hotel room all night, but doesn't want to make out or have sex)
So now here we stand.. In her heart (at least I think), she wants to come together, but her head is making her not do that.
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