hey im 26 mynow ex girlfriend is 24we were together for eight years 5 days ago she said she wanted to break up and wanted me to move out said that we are no longer compatable and that we both need to make changes in our lifes also that we are to comfortable with each other and it is not healthy at such a young age. i feel lost i cant sleep or eat im am a mess. we just moved in together finally about 8 months ago i am confused as the first two days it was as if we were broken up she did not stay here and we were apart the third day she did stop in we did talked a little bit about changing bills over to her name for utilities that sort of thing as im moving and she was crying saying she needed me in her life as a friend and that if there is anything i need to call her and said she will be looking forward to seeing me the next night then the next two nights we slept together in the same bed and cuddled and she was crying saying she will miss me but this is something that needs to happen clearly she still loves me but maybe she is not in love with me anymore? she did mention she doesnt know how to be her and us and has never had the chance to be her as she was always her parents daughter and then my girlfriend also she said she wants to meet people and experiance new things and she doenst know how to do that with me. Its just dont know how to go about this situation as i do love her and want her back it is just now sinking in that its really over as i moved out and we havent spoke in about a week 8yrs is such a long time and for me to just move out not take time apart and work on things just end it does not make sense. it has been a week since i moved out and i dont know if i should call her or wait for her to call me the last thing she said to me was she does love me and we will talk soon any advice or help would be appreciated
You do not call, she broke up with you and it's not clear to you yet. She's giving you mixed signals, comforting HERSELF by using you to cuddle and what-not. She wants to leave and not be with you anymore, sorry to say.
The best thing for you to do now, is to try and move on. Any way that is, it's definitely not keeping in contact with her...that will only make your life miserable. Keep up the NC and you'll see the light ahead...we've all been there.
From the way you've explained it, I would do some digging on this girl's background. It seems as though maybe there's a little guilt showing up here. From what you've said (and clearly, I don't know the whole story, i'm going by what i've read here...)it's possible that she had other relations while you were together and that's why she wants to "meet new people." It seems as though she was possibly (keyword: possibly) lying to you, which is why she is so hysterical about leaving. I don't know, it just seems as though she feels guilty to me.
8 years is a long time, but a break up is a break up, it hurts and it sucks (been there). Trust me we all felt the pain, it's horrible (diarrhea, loss of hair, hair turned white due to shock... you name it). Since it has been a long time, it looks like it is over between you and her.
You have 2 options, cling to false hope or move on. Read the stickies, take care of your life, move on. Be selfish, go to the gym, start doing the things you want alone. Being single can be the greatest thing that ever happened to you, it just depends how you do it.
Don't forget to post here how you are doing and how you are coping, we'll help you every step of the way.
ya it just doesnt make sense if your that hurt and upset when you break up with someone why do it it idont think i can do nc i will wait a few more days if she doesnt call ima try calling her and then that will tell i guess if nc is really the best its just so confusing
I totally agree with ajGambino. Your gf has had time to work through this in her head and heart, whereas it's a shock to you. You two cannot be "just friends" now after eight years as a couple and finally living together.
Like aj said, NO CONTACT. Make yourself the center of your life.
ya it just doesnt make sense if your that hurt and upset when you break up with someone why do it it idont think i can do nc i will wait a few more days if she doesnt call ima try calling her and then that will tell i guess if nc is really the best its just so confusing
Exactly, you are confused and in shock so you cannot make decisions. You are trying to understand why she broke up and you are over analyzing everything. As hard as it is, you have to go completely NC, or you WILL be in pain for a very long time.
Whatever answer you will get, will give you some comfort and it will make you stay by her side. That will comfort her and you will be her security blanket. She is weak and it is horrible that breaker do this to the breakee, but I rarely heard of someone who didn't pass by that.
Trust me, we passed by the pain and suffering so that we can help others in their paths. We are here to teach you from our own mistakes, and so that you don't do the same. NC is what you need to apply ASAP.
i will prrolly stay by her side no matter what i spent eight years with this women i love her, it does seem like NC is good advice for the time being everyone i talk to seems its a good idea she did call today and we chatted for a bit it almost didnt really bother me as long as she is happy and in my life even as a friend who knows its really not even a week i could really still be in shock but for NC should i be ignoring her calls as she was the one who contacted me first seems kinda cold to ignore her calls aftter all we have both been civil through this whole thing
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