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My girlfriend broke up with me but wants to be friends.

Asked Aug 1, 2012, 03:32 AM — 19 Answers
Me and my ex had been together for 2 1/2 years. We just broke it off. She claims I'm not showing her enough attention. I've been here for this girl since day one. She works 12 hour shifts Monday through Friday. I really don't see her until Fridays. But I check on her every day while at work.

But she wants me to be always on her line like I don't have anything to do in my life. I love her a lot would do anything but she just told me that there's someone else she's interested in trying. This person is a friend for 5 years and she hasn’t told her yet that she likes her and wants to get to know her but she is gonna tell her. But she wants us to b friends. I feel she want to hold on to me cause this girl may reject her or it may not work out.

What do I do? Should I be her friend or let it go?

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19 Answers
Amyyforthestars's Avatar
Amyyforthestars Posts: 47, Reputation: 3
Junior Member
  
#2

Aug 1, 2012, 05:01 AM
You can be friends with her, but don't wait for her. Tell her she either wants you or the other girl. It's not fair for you
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monsieurjj's Avatar
monsieurjj Posts: 56, Reputation: 23
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#3

Aug 5, 2012, 08:01 PM
Its the same situation with me bro, the worse thing is we are together for 5 years, she may just say she wants to try this new thing but you have to realize she is just saying this to minimize your pain and the truth is they are already together
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girlygrrl's Avatar
girlygrrl Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#4

Aug 5, 2012, 08:17 PM
I agree with Ammyforthestars, be friends with her but don't wait for her...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyyforthestars View Post
You can be friends with her, but don't wait for her. Tell her she either wants you or the other girl. It's not fair for you
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monsieurjj's Avatar
monsieurjj Posts: 56, Reputation: 23
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#5

Aug 5, 2012, 08:19 PM
yeah that is right, when a girl says she wants to be friends with you after a break up that means she doesnt like talking to you anymore and will only talk to you once in 6-13months hard truth man
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here2assist's Avatar
here2assist Posts: 101, Reputation: 131
Junior Member
  
#6

Aug 7, 2012, 10:55 PM
I'll be honest as someone that has pulled the let's be friends bit. It signifies that she doesn't want to entirely let you go and deal with the pain of a full fledged breakup. I'm ashamed to say I've done it myself as a way to ease the pain of getting out of a relationship. Bad, bad, bad idea. I think it's really difficult to downgrade a relationship into a friendship. Do you really want to hear about her new girlfriend and think about her with someone else? Um not so much.
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monsieurjj's Avatar
monsieurjj Posts: 56, Reputation: 23
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#7

Aug 7, 2012, 11:06 PM
Here2Assist, can you enlighten me with that one, my last ex told me about that but she doesnt contact me and i dont contact her either and i found out she replaced me with someone
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here2assist's Avatar
here2assist Posts: 101, Reputation: 131
Junior Member
  
#8

Aug 8, 2012, 09:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by monsieurjj View Post
Here2Assist, can you enlighten me with that one, my last ex told me about that but she doesnt contact me and i dont contact her either and i found out she replaced me with someone
Effectively it's a crutch to dealing with the breakup. Instead of going cold turkey you put out the friend card. I found it to be a security blanket in that if I ever felt lonely or needed to talk he would be there. Looking back it was just me being weak and selfish. I readily admit that. You know that the door is open but you may not necessarily knock.

Not sure how long after your breakup that she started seeing someone else but if it was soon then this guy is just a rebound and she is using replacement therapy to cope with the breakup.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,320, Reputation: 50351
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#9

Aug 8, 2012, 02:09 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by here2assist View Post
I'll be honest as someone that has pulled the let's be friends bit. It signifies that she doesn't want to entirely let you go and deal with the pain of a full fledged breakup. I'm ashamed to say I've done it myself as a way to ease the pain of getting out of a relationship. Bad, bad, bad idea. I think it's really difficult to downgrade a relationship into a friendship. Do you really want to hear about her new girlfriend and think about her with someone else? Um not so much.
Very excellent response

Quote:
Originally Posted by monsieurjj View Post
Here2Assist, can you enlighten me with that one, my last ex told me about that but she doesnt contact me and i dont contact her either and i found out she replaced me with someone
Quote:
Originally Posted by here2assist
Effectively it's a crutch to dealing with the breakup. Instead of going cold turkey you put out the friend card. I found it to be a security blanket in that if I ever felt lonely or needed to talk he would be there. Looking back it was just me being weak and selfish. I readily admit that. You know that the door is open but you may not necessarily knock.

Not sure how long after your breakup that she started seeing someone else but if it was soon then this guy is just a rebound and she is using replacement therapy to cope with the breakup.
[b]
Quote:
But she wants us to b friends. I feel she want to hold on to me cause this girl may reject her or it may not work out.
Totally agree, or she is letting you down easy. Or relieving her guilt!

Quote:
What do I do? Should I be her friend or let it go?
Disappear from her life, heal and do your own thing. You are free to experiment and explore better options and opportunities on your own. A clean break is the way to go.
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Homegirl 50's Avatar
Homegirl 50 Posts: 8,871, Reputation: 10878
Dating & Teen Expert
  
#10

Aug 8, 2012, 02:17 PM
Let her go and do her thing, and you do yours. Don't ease her guilt or be her backup by hanging around in friend zone.
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