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    Joshcoolblue's Avatar
    Joshcoolblue Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 24, 2012, 10:51 AM
    My girlfriend broke up with me and I am not sure why?
    This just happened all of a sudden out of the blue. Her and I are both 22 yrs old and I work 3rd shift while she works during the day. So we only get to see each other every weekend. For a while she wanted to spend time together even during the week then she seemed to get distant. This past weekend we had talked a little during the week that she would come over for dinner and we would watch a movie. I wanted it to be a surprise so I didn't tell her. Well she made plans to be with her gf's and sister and go to a basketball game. I was so excited I told her brother and her brother freaked out on her. She said why couldn't you talked to me about it instead of talking to my brother.
    So she was mad about the surprise thing.

    Because I saw a Facebook she had posted saying all of these things which I thought she was directing it onto me. But I was wrong I mis-read it and I apologized. She got mad. She didn't want to talk to me the weekend I had the surprise. Ok so I texted her here and there telling her I missed her and yet she doesn't say the same things back. The night before she broke up with me she was like hugs to you have a good night. She wakes up and sends me a text that we need to talk. I said are we breaking up and she saids yes sorry. I don't see this relationship going any further. I was like why what do you mean. Can we work this out?

    She said, I need an ear to listen to me. And I mean hear me, not listen... Honestly hear what I say! Not just be like whatever... Just so I can get stuff off my chest... She said when I tried to talk to you it seemed like you didn't care.

    I don't understand the above. I would bring her lunch on her lunch break, make her brownies, make her cards etc. I would make doodles on my phone and send them to her. When we talked I would just listen and not talk and look in her eyes. So I don't understand how she could say I didn't care because I do. I told her I care about her and I want to be with her. She won't give it a 2nd chance. I asked to be friends and she said yes.

    I wanted to explain to you everything that happened. It doesn't make any sense to me can you help?

    And I have been desperately searching for a new job that will be on days so I can spend more time with her and I told her this.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jan 24, 2012, 11:19 AM
    The reason as to why she broke up with you is not important. Let her feel her decision, cut complete contact with her, keep yourself busy, and move on.

    For your next relationship, I would advice not to jump to any conclusions as to stuff that an ex or current girlfriend puts up on Facebook. In fact, don't jump to conclusions about anything at all, communicate so that mistakes like these don't happen again.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 24, 2012, 01:56 PM
    Getting dumped is shocking and emotional and few of us are immune to it!

    Leave her alone guy as its obvious she was tired of the relationship, and didn't see it going any where. It happens so keep some dignity, and self respect and leave her alone. Break ups suck enough without you making a pest for yourself by seeking closure or explaining things to change her mind.

    ACCEPTANCE that her feelings changed (the reasons don't matter), is the closure you need, and she will not change her mind. Truth be told, its never out of the blue to the dumper, but the one who is dumped is the last to know.

    Why never matters much any way, and she might not know herself why her feelings changed. Let go and let the shock wear off, and the emotional dust settle.

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