At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
for 2 weeks...is this "break" simply a pre curser to break up? Been a week today and I am not handling it very well...could use some advice. She started a new job/career several months ago and it is very demanding with a lot of travel...and our together time has dropped to nearly nothing...then last Saturday she asked for the "break", said we had been getting on each others nerves lately and maybe this would help. Said she still loves me, and has contacted be a couple of times this week, but sense the beginning of the end...relationships need work, not abandonment...I am using an aternative form of no contact, in that I'm waiting for her to contact me...is this the right approach? If we were indeed breaking up, I know what to do, but in this case...I don't know.
Sounds as if you have learned much from this situation. Its funny how we learn more about ourselves in times of despair rather than joy. I suspect there is something to learn from every situation we humans may encounter, good on you for identifying this one, I beleive whatever happens with your current relationship this knowledge will go far.
I'm happy to hear that things are going well. It was a smart move on the part of your girlfriend to see a counselor. I wish more people did that before calling it quits, it might save some of us a lot of the grief that comes with a break-up.
I know this is probably redundant to most of you, but it seems to be somewhat theraputic for me, so I will continue with this update on my Sunday nite meeting turned phone call.
My girlfriend called last nite and we went over again, why she wanted this break and the same stuff we talked about Thursday. She reaffirmed that we were NOT broke up, just on a break. We talked a little about missing each other and in the end, "I love you"..."me too".
It has been 2 full weeks. I asked her how long was this going to last? She told me she just didn't know. I started, last week, concentrating on me and finding a little self esteem and self respect for myself again...moving on actually. So each day seems a tiny bit better for me...any advice for me? I could have ended it last nite.
Been a while since I took talaniman's most recent advice. It has been NC since on my part and in return NC from her end either. This is not easy, each day is filled with different emotions. I am aware of them but try and keep them at arm's length and not always successful. There are good days, but the bad ones still out number the former. I have stayed busy at work, increased my time at the gym and am looking into a tai chi class...
Still not easy today, but getting by. then...today she texts me. 'Hoping that I am okay and letting me know how busy she has been at work'. A simple enough text under normal circumstances...this one knocked the wind out me. Why?
I am only going to guess at it, but because you still hold out hope for the two of you. So naturally you see any contact from her as a good thing. Which it very well could be, but also could be her way of keeping you on the line.
You are going to have good days and bad days. I still have them and it's been 3 months for me. I still have thoughts of my ex but they are less frequent, so things do get better. If you read my posts from when I first started on here, they were pathetic. I put my ex on the highest possible point. Continue with NC and just "let it roll" whatever happens, happens for a reason. We have NO control over what events come into our life.
Whatever her reasons, stick with no contact. Your supposed to wonder about why she texts, and what it means, as your still very fresh into this. That you have good days, and bad is normal, as we all go thru this period. It is important to realize that her feelings, and motivations, are irrelevant, at this point in time. Your coping, and getting emotionally sound, is the only objective that means anything, and its your time, NOT hers. Don't forget that during the chaos, and confusion. Put your own interests first.
I am only going to guess at it, but because you still hold out hope for the two of you. So naturally you see any contact from her as a good thing. Which it very well could be, but also could be her way of keeping you on the line.
You are going to have good days and bad days. I still have them and it's been 3 months for me. I still have thoughts of my ex but they are less frequent, so things do get better. If you read my posts from when I first started on here, they were pathetic. I put my ex on the highest possible point. Continue with NC and just "let it roll" whatever happens, happens for a reason. We have NO control over what events come into our life.
Rome makes a good point. You'll have some good days and plenty of bad days. I haven't talked to my ex-girlfriend in 3 months. I see her every now and then but we never talk. You just gotta hold your head up high and keep moving forward.
Linear Mode
