My girlfriend of 4.5 years left me

Hi guys my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years left me 1 month ago and I still feel as bad if not worse as when it happened. We started going out at 18 and have lived together ever since. We have the most awsome relationship and have dog together, and love spending every moment together, although we do go out and do things with our friends alone.

The one problem in the relationship which is my fault is that sometimes I get a violent and have a bad temper and can say and do things I don't mean. This would happen roughly every six months or so. I have never hit her but have grabbed her arm and certain things like this when I'm angry. When we broke up a month ago we had an argument at the bar that lasted less than a minute. She was talking to other guys the whole night and didn't speak to me once or even introduce me. I confonted her about it and she laughed it off and I got angry and grabbed her. MY Fault, I shouldn't have acted that way. She immediately walked off and went to her friends house and I kept calling and she wouldn't answer. The next day I reached her and she said she didn't want to be with me anymore.

I was heartbroken, we have never broken up before. She came over to our apartment that day and she explained she has been thinking about doing this for six months. I'm really confused because to me I thought she was happy and everything was great, we told each other we loved each other everyday and always were having fun and chatting. We were like this till the last day. She says she loves me but because some of the things I have done over the years she can't think of me the same way anymore. A couple of days later she came over and picked up here stuff and took our dog and left and has moved in with her friend who just broke up with her boyfriend who happens to be one of my best mates.

THis situation is crazy. I told her that I wanted to fix my problems and see a counselor about this. I went and got the paperwork filled out and told her I was starting. This didn't seem to change her mind the least.She said it's great but she can't love like that anymore because of what I have done. I thought there might be other factors as well but she refuses there is. She said I'm the perfect guy except for my temper. She says I'm the funnest person to be around and she still finds me attractive. I called her a couple of times in the first week to make up and went down to where she is staying late one night drunk. She says she still loves me but not like she used to.

I made nc for 2 1/2 weeks but called after to see how her holiday was going that she is on. This was booked before the breakup and she is going with one of her friends. She seems to have moved on and doesn't even seem to care. I don't know why she could act so happy until the breakup and never tell me she was unhappy. I miss her so much and want to spend the rest of my life with her. What should I do? I will see her in 2 weeks when she comes to pick the rest of her stuff up from our place. I don't think they're are any other guys involved? I fully trusted her. She says she wants to be friends at a later date but needs her space now. This came out of the blue and just don't know what to say or do. Please help?