Hi,
Ive been with my girlfriend for 3 years now, we have a great relationship and we have no arguments, I never worry about alot but lately I may ahave been asking a few many wquestions about where the relationship was going. Problem is i am 5 years older than she is. she has just turned 22 and i am 27. She has only slept with 2 guys but from wen i met her she is not the type to sleep around she does not believe in that. She used to go out b4 we met and kiss guys but that was it. When we were first together I took it slow cause thougt that would be best for the long term and to keep her keen.
All of a sudden she just turns up and says I think we should have a break. The last few days have been fine she always rings or msgs at night and says areyou sure im not calling to often i dont want you to go off me. We do not live together but normally see each other 3 or 4 nights a week. She said to me I love you but dont know if its the way im meant to feel about someone forever. She said she thought she would feel like she could not live without that person and says she does not always feel this way about me but im a great guy. She said she is dependent on me to much and just wants to have some time to know she can be by herself before she lets someone into her life.

Maybe its over for me, she said she has been thinking about this for a year and at times contemplates the thoughts of having a future wth me and thought she could but now she really does not want to have to think about the future at this stage in her life and does not want to have to think of someone else, she wants to think about herself

She is in her final year of uni . She was so keen but what should i do???

Makiavelic76

Sounds like shes passing thru a stage of exploration, and the extension of that can only be clearer to you, since you are the one who knows what this gal might go for it or not.
3 years of relationship its quite considerable to take things lightly about the feelings involved in breakup. So, if she's has good heart and decided to take some space, we can assume she's not playing with that. (even tho in my experience some girls wants the break up call just to see how much we fight for them, which is awfully inmature).
If she told you with peace, that this hard decision was on her head for a year, hmm well, it should the question floating: Why doesnt she popped it before, her concern, and the reasons for feeling like that?
I would suggest you to have a calm, very calm chat with her, asking her your why's, not to confront her decision but just for your own mental well being. And then, well, grab your guitar and go to play somewhere else. NC rule and start caring about yourself, let her assume her decision. Set in your mind a time limit to start processing the lost and move on.... Someone else and something else is waiting..

Be well

talaniman

Sorry but you two are in very different worlds right now, and the conflict is she is just seeing the world, and wants to find where she fit, but you are beyond the wondering, and are ready to settle down and live life together. Your looking long term, and she only sees tomorrow.
Of course she has been, wouldn't anyone her age feel the same as she wants to explore and learn, didn't you?? Can't change human nature. Back off and give her space, since she still calls, but leave the relationship talk alone, and start making sure you have a life you enjoy without her for your own well being. Should you wait for her to change her mind an come back??? The problem with that is she may never come back, so honestly let her alone for a week or two, no calls whatsoever. She needs time to think of life without you. So let her think, while you get busy, as she will try to keep you around, since she knows exactly how you feel. After 3 years, can you be friends at this point??? This is a good time to figure what you want now. Either go thru the confusion she is in, or get your life moving in the right direction. Whatever happens you need to be in control of your own life, with or without her.

Stunning07

im going thru the same boat, calling her saying you lover etc... wont do anything show her your not weak and say to your self she wants a break... she'll get one its real tough but you cant die from it, you just have to live with it, give her that break and you should keep busy your self

aaron80

thanks

bushg

aaron this is the best advice you can get...I posted it again so you can absorb it. good luck you sound like a very nice young man

JDOP

I hate to tell you this but I've read and experienced situations very similar to yours. I'd say there's another guy in the game. I know it's hard to even try to believe this but I think you should be very very carefull. If I was you I would walk away now. Let her make up her mind, if she really really wants you then eventually she'll come back.

Stunning07

start nc best thing to do bro

Makiavelic76

If I can add something... you dont need to poison your brain now, with the though of "the other guy if it exist".. I know your brain and sometimes your senses can guide you to that but sometimes we fail too. If someone else exist, and that's the reason for her confusion, well it's just natural selection process. She's not the one!!! and that's it.
Invest your time improving your self, becoming something better and happier by yourself. You will fell powerful then... believe me.
Enjoy

mckenzie134

You cannot contact her. you will have to let her have her space. This is best for now.

Let her see what it is like without you.
goodluck