I'll just start off with some background of myself and her and get into what is happening, that way you have the full story.

This girl that i have been dating for 2 1/2 months is 18. She only had 1 other boyfriend other then myself and he ended up using her to go out with her friend. She also takes things slow.

I'm 19 and have been in 2 other relationships and 1 that almost happened but i got played pretty hard. My last girlfriend ended up cheating on me.

Now here is what is happening. When we first went out, we used to talk all the time and say that we miss eachother and everything...really couldn't of been any better. Now it's like...when we do things...things are awsome, but on the phone or internet she seems distracted or not even interested in me anymore. Doesn't give me the "i miss you" deal or any type of affection and i usually have to start any conversation. I don't know if this is because she lost interest in me, or possibly just playing games, i don't have a clue. This is a pretty conservative girl so doing things with another guy and all that stuff is pretty much out of the question. I dunno what's going on and maybe i'm just taking it wrong.

turtlegirl

There are a lot of possibilities here...
1) She really is just taking things slow
2) She's cautious because now that she's let you in she's afraid of getting hurt again
3) She's better at conversation in person
4) She's playing games
OR...
5) She is less interested in you now that she has you. Are you coming off all needy and available? Try the less is more approach for a week or two. Wait for her to call. See how that goes for a bit.
Good luck!

sphyncx

yeah i was acting a little needy the past week or so. I actually thought that might be a possibility so i was just gonna keep things up to her...she can call me...she can ask me to do things together...etc.

Wildcat21

Ok Pal - tough love here.....

You can't be saying stuff like that to a gal - "I miss you" all the time. Yuck - woman don't want nice. You sound like her girlfirend. You sound like you're in Jr. High. I REALLY don't think she misses you - HOW COULD she, you're smothering her. You are annoying her to death. Fewer compliments.

You can't call her every day, 10 times a day, QUIT IM and texting - woman initially like it - BUT always get annoyed by it. Use the phone - couple times a week. HAVE HER CALL YOU! This gal is an adult - treat her for the most part like your friends - BUST HER CHOPS, TEASE HER ALL THE TIME.

This Gal isn't your life - only a small part of it. Don't put on a pedestal. You sound too needy-clingy - BACK OFF HER and maybe she will like more - LESS IS MORE!

IF you act too anxious to make a relationship work, even if the other person initially seemed to be the one who wanted it, they will become turned off and start looking for the exits. Next time you decide you really want somebody, play your cards close to your chest. Don’t let on how excited you’ve become. Slowly over many months of time you can eventually show more commitment on your part, but do so incrementally, remaining alert to equal signs of commitment back. If at any point your devotion is more than an equal share, back off and give the other person a chance to catch up before proceeding further.

It is their perception, rightly or wrongly, that someone nice must be desperately needy. The neediness or dependent characteristics exhibited by a person are actually what is repulsive.

It's time grow up....learn about ADULT relationships, HOW WOMAN work, become a man.

Go to these sites and red EVERY article on dating - every article:

www.askmen.com

www.sosuave.com

See - you're being too nice - adult woman don't want a 'nice guy' - at this gals age she is actually about to hit her Bad Boy stage. Learn about bad boys/jerks - don't become one - but learn what they do to create attraction.

Wildcat21

When you start dating a woman that you really LIKE, your fear of abandonment and your need for approval kick in. What you want more than anything is for her to like you, to like you as much as you like her. What you fear the most is that you may disappoint or upset her somehow so that she won't want to be with you. So you cater to her whims and you don't set healthy boundaries. To you Psych majors, he always let's her get her way.
The irony is that all these things that you do to get her to like you and to try to insure that she won't leave you are actually the very things that make her withdraw from you. Unfortunately, either out of denial or ignorance, you keep repeating the same behavior with each new woman that you like.
So what's the way out of this trap? Awareness and insight are the first steps, which are what I'm providing you with now.

Next, you must have a fierce determination to do whatever it takes, however uncomfortable, to clean up your act.

Remember: when you like her a lot, act like you don't.

Put yourself first. Women like pricks a lot better than nice guys.

sphyncx

Thanks much. But what do you suggest i do now since i already did things that i shouldn't have? Just sit back for now and just chill out?

Wildcat21

Yes - - give her space.....don't call for a while.

If you're still dating - call her Monday and see how her weekend was - IF you don't here from her.

No presure on this gal - zero - keep everything FUN! Bust on her - tease her.

Wildcat21

AND learn about woman! They do not think like us - this isn't logic. We think we we should do all this nice things for them, and be all nice and agreeable...

They just want to hang out and be your friend. They want FUN! Not some love sick puppy who can't get enough of her.

turtlegirl

Yes, exactly. Sit back and chill out. Wildcat gives great advice, although he's coming on a little strong here. Don't act like a jerk; women don't actually like pricks. Just don't be needy. Be a good version of who you are, just don't be so available. Be busy. That way you'll have more to talk about when you do talk to her, she'll be curious about what you're up to, and you'll both have more interesting lives. See?

Wildcat21

Yes - I do come on strong, but I want him to change now - today. He will be so much happier.

Meaning Prick - learn to take on some jerk like tendencies - NEVER treat a woman rudely, poorly, badly etc. NEVER!

Turtle: I love that: "That way you'll have more to talk about when you do talk to her, she'll be curious about what you're up to, and you'll both have more interesting lives." - that is exactly it. When your first dating - first 6 months - you don't need to know where they are every minute - what they are doing etc.