Ive been seeing this girl for 3yrs. Always been there 4 her, do everything 2 make her happy and comfortable (she's a student and I'm a worker) and one day she told me the parents are against the relationship so we should stop seeing each other. I tried convincing her but she wouldn't listen not knowing she's found a new man. She told me i can't force her to marry me and all those stuff. In fact I was shartered and couldn't think straight. I acted like a typical wussbag, begging her to come back, telling how hurt I'm how much i love her, how life will not be the same without her.

I really love and care deeply for her, then I decided to let her go no matter how painful. A few days later she called me and said she missed me and always thinking abt me and that she doesn't love the other guy and wants 2 come back. I said ok then she called again and said she can't forget abt me but can't leave the other guy also (I think she's confused herself abt who to choose). Now I've found someone in her school who I think I really like and wanted to start seeing. They're at the same dorm and same class. Do you guys think it's advisable to start seeing the new girl? If my ex comes back I'll not be able to turn my back to her. Please advise. Thanks

Jac

Start anew. Best medicine. Ever.

fredg

Hi,
Sometimes, it's easier to make up an "excuse" to have some space from a relationship, than just to say it. Your old girlfriend of 3 years, needed some space for awhile. Relationships change, find new ones, and one sometimes never knows what's happening!
Since you have found a new girl you like, stay with her. Find out if you might have a good relationship with her. Eventually, your old girlfriend will let you know how she really feels.
I wouldn't try to start up a "friend" relationship with her. It's going to be hard getting over her, and talking with new girls will help. I suggest keeping on with this new girl, and see what happens.
I do wish you the best of luck.

Fr_Chuck

I would be interested in knowing the ages of the people here, what level in school and the such. But in general you can not make anyone love you and often while it is hard, you must move on with your life.

CaptainForest

Start dating this new girl, move on....your ex has.

Chery

Welcome to the forum. Be aware that you are not the only one in the world going thru this and it will most likely not be the first or last time. But, the good news is that nobody has every died of a broken heart in your age-group. It's just that making choices when not having had the chance to try new things, learn to know new people, and just plain planning what to do with your life is difficult for anyone, especially those of you who are still in school.

I am 55 now, have a daughter and going to have a grandchild soon, who will go through the same strifes in life as you are now, and honestly, I am already getting prepared to try and help that young thing get through life as best as it can.

If you feel you can't talk to your parents or grandparents about your issues or they are too busy to bother with you to give you advice, stay on with us and we will try and help you as much as we can. Remember, you are not alone. Your girlfriend is going through a difficult growing stage too and is probably just as mixed up as you are.

The nice thing about this also is that if you understand each other, and can grow up together, even if not dating anymore, you'll have a good friend and that counts for something too. Be courteous and caring towards each other and help each other out as much as possible and you'll do just fine.

Check the following sites that were suggested by a fellow forum member and see for yourselves that you are not alone and that you'll get help going through this part of your life.

Go to www.askmen.com and read every dating article....every article - including Doc Love.
www.sosuave.com - read everything!!!
www.lovetactics.com - read all the free articles.
www.relationships.blog-city.com - read about how women really are.


Good luck, and keep us posted.

phillysteakandcheese

Most people are under the impression that there is “only one soul mate” for them in this world. I think that is wrong. I think there are many soul mates for every person in this world, and it’s much more a case of you choosing which one you want to spend your life with.

In this case - You are young. You have a future ahead of you. Your ex was great for three years. Now it’s time to venture into the world and meet other people you can be close with and maybe even share your life with.

Perhaps you will cross paths with your ex in the future, and maybe at that time you can see what there is between you. For right now – the world is in front of you.

Wildcat21

Listen to Chery...

That "I want you back call" was a TEST - you were a WUSS again...you should have said no. You really should have never picked up the call. I t was a test because ALL she wanted to do was see if she still had you for her OWN FREAKING EGO. She had no intentions of getting back together. She wanted to see if you were still a Wuss.

"Always been there 4 her, do everything 2 make her happy and comfortable" - there was your 100% problem. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh YUCK!!!!!

prosty

Thank you all for your wonderful advice. It's been very helpful and I think I'm gradually getting over her (though not easy). I've stopped calling her for the past 1 week (not even flashing/buzzing her cell phone). For the past few days, she's been calling me like 5 time a day but I never answered her calls. 2 days ago, she sent a txt message asking if I have travelled and have forgotten about her. Again I didn't reply, she sent another one saying she'll be coming to work place later this week to see me. I want to take some days off so that she won't come and meet me in the office. Any more help from you good people?

scaredgal

Well I agree with the other posters here it is just a test. A lot of people like to do that for some reason. Maybe just to have you on the back burner in case the other guy doesn't work out so she won't have to be single if he turns out to be jerk. It is not because she loves you. If she loves you then she wouldn't have done this to you, she wouldn't have been seeing someone else. Would have never occured to her to leave you..after all you wouldn't have done that to her because you loved her.

I am sure she cares but it is not the love or respect you deserve. Good job on not answering the phone or text messages. If she stops by your work then I would tell her calm and as brief as possible that it is not cool to come by there. Something like " I don't want to hurt your feelings but this is my place of work so it is unprofessional of me to have personal visitors, I don't mean to be harsh but please leave"

Then the most important is WALK AWAY after that don't let her stand there and continue to charm you.

Best of luck to you I am sure you will make it through this and find someone who deserves the devotion you offer to a girl. Date around in the meantime and just enjoy getting to know new people.