I messed up big time! I slept with him last night. Thought if I slept with him, and he spend the night, he will see the real me, and dumped his “x girlfriend” I honestly don’t know what to do, to stop being so pathetic. He phoned me this morning, and I demanded to know if he wants to be with me or with her. Yeah you guessed it; he wants to try with her!! I hanged up. I texted him, and told him, not to contact me, not to text me, not even look in my direction. My heart is broken, and I know that it is my own fault. The frustrating thing is, I know I’m well balanced, good at my work, I’m a pleasant person, and strong, why do I let these men walk all over me. I’ve read thousands of self help books, about self respect and self love etc… But I don’t stick with all my good intentions. What must I do now? On the one side, I actually want him back. Pathetic I know. On the other side I want to run him over. Please give me some advice?

ilovcali

I think everyone has thoughts of vengence and anger when someone has screwed us over. It's only natural. But in the end, very few ever act upon it. Most people who do, end up finding themselves in more trouble.

Aside from it being crazy, it doesn't solve anything. You'll still feel bad, and you may have some moment of joy seeing one who made you suffer go through hell, but ultimately, if you have a heart, you'll feel even worse.

If you have a conscience or heart, purposely causing pain on someone will undoubtedly make you feel worse in the long run.

kp2171

that made me laugh.

by the way... the greenie thing, if you are ever around here long enough to see the AMHD member discussions on greenies, you'll know most of us think they are a JOKE. so that one was probably over your university-educated. thesis-writing head because you havent seen the "greenie discussions".

BTW, as a person who taught 8 years at university, i can tell you 1) scoring well in a class doesnt mean you understand a thing and 2) common sense just might trump book smarts in some cases... sometimes not.

i missed the screw-with-the-guy-because-hes-screwing-with-you lecture. have to ask the phil prof next time we see each other.

J_9

Okay, I am sure you get the point by now, but, if you sleep with a man so that he will see the real you...Do you really know what he thinks about you then? I will not use any of the names for this, but I am sure you know where it could be going. So, for your reputation, it is best that you not do this again.

I understand that you had a hard time seeing him this weekend and talking to him, but, remember this..... Since he has already had you in bed he will make any excuse to get you back there. He knows you are vulnerable and is willing to take advantage of your vulnerability to get you in the sack again.

To me the story he told you sounds like a big ole SOB story!!

He has no feelings for the so-called ex, YEAH RIGHT!! Wake up and smell the coffee... if he has no feelings for her anymore why was he at the movies with her?

Some men just know how to play our emotions to get what they want. He is trying to take advantage of your softer side and it looks as though it may be working.

Run, don't walk, as far away from him as you can. He is a USER!!!

You certainly can find someone better.

mysticque

how would I know I don't mix solid ingredients to liquid? But I work in the pharma industry. I can at least provide you something. Anyways, this is nonsense. I'll leave this group perhaps I can leave everything to some chemist expert.

aqua@home

I think too many of us find ourselves in this situation. I think the best thing for you to do is move on. Let go of him, let go of the anger, let go of the hurt and forgive yourself. So you made a mistake of which now you can learn from. He was a jerk and you deserve better. Don't text him, call him or anything, just forget him. He has far too much power and you need to take care of you.

All the books in the world can't change our own thinking if we don't let it. I love to learn and read things, but I think books dealing with relationships or anything having to do with people and their psyche are way over-rated. There are many books and it's all just someone's opinion. There are far too many people and far too many opinions. Go with what is in your heart. You actually have to believe that you are worth it. As said by someone before, you deserve more than to be someone's seconds (scraps).

I would go on in my life without him. If he can hurt you now, early in your relationship, he will continue to hurt you later. It doesn't get better.

I hope atleast some of that made sense. (I'm a little rusty.)

talaniman

If I may offer a better solution, focus on helping the Poster as they are the ones with questions. We all have our opinions and we are all different. All our experiences are valuable to pass along to some one who can benefit from them. Please don't take things so personal. We try to help and take it from someone with a masters degree from the college of hard knocks, None of us is perfect.

mysticque

Spare with me not all with MS degree have brilliant mind. depends which study/school you go to.

dancingtwins

FORGET HIM!!!Work on yourself make your self a better person. Make yourself happy, because if you aren't happy with yourself you will never be happy in a relationship! And for god sake stop being one night stands or booty calls