| My G/f of 3 1/2 years cheated on me, but i dont want to leave.
My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years cheated on me. Im so hurt and so disgusted, she did everything we do. He got the love that was supposed to be mine.. But i dont want to leave. See, she was a virgin when we first me, and i took her virginity. I've been wit 5 girls in my life, including her, and these past couple of months we've been talkin about engagement and what we gonna do when she graduates this year. Out of nowhere she begins telling me how its not fair that shes only been with one person and if we get married then itll be just one for the rest of her life. I told her, i told her it doesnt matter how many people u've been with, it only matters if you love the person that u R with. I know its not all her conjouring up this ridiculousness, her slutbag friends put this in her head. Well saturday i was supposed to go down her way for a party but my ride fell through, keep in mind im the love of the life (supposedly) and before she cheated she used to always say "i jus dont understand how u can have sex with somebody and not love them" so i never really worried about her cheating. anyway the ride fell through and she and her friend who was driving wouldnt come get me, so my fone died. Well i got home around 1 and i was callin and callin and her fone was ringing, so i called the friends fone and she was like she dropped her fone in mud and it was off and she didnt have service. So i was like ok, i asked where she was, she told me at her house. Well i was thinkin and i was like "yo if her fone was off why is it still ringin instead of goin str8 to voicemail???" the next day she tells me she stayed the night at one of my homies house and had sex with him. Man it hurt so bad, i threwup i cried, still cryin, didnt eat, im hurt to my core. She says she loves me, but it isnt fair she only had one person, We broke up. She said she didnt want to hurt me but she wanted to do it. She said shes feels horrible for hurting me but not for doing it. I love her with every fiber of my being, but this was wrong, very very wrong. And no matter how much i cry, and hate her. I love her. I dont want to leave, I know she can change becuz i know her, but if she loved me how could she do that, she even gave him head, dude went raw. i feel so sick, but i love her so much. im so confused. She called me yesterday and was like we cant talk becuz im hurtin u when i talk to u and i agreed. But then 4 hours later she called like "i cant do it, i cant not talk to u". I dont want her to think that im ok with this. I know she knows i love her, she doesnt know i dont want to leave and i refuse to tell her becuz she deserves to suffer for this. Is me talkin to her even tho we not together sayin that she can do whatever she wants to me and ill be ok wit it? i dont want her thinkin that. She did something very selfish but she is such an essential part of my life, im such an essential part of her life. She says when he was done he jus rolled ova and went to sleep and she was upset becuz she didnt fall asleep on his chest, not becuz it was him, jus becuz she always does that with me. I told her he doesnt love her and he hasnt even called or texted her since that night. She says she doesnt want to be together right now becuz she cant trust herself. I didnt even ask to get back together with her yet. We havent even talked in person yet. But i know when i see her im goin to cry becuz i love her so much, i would die for this girl, i really think shes just young and confused right now, i think she can change, but i know if she does this again im gone as a friend and as a potential mate. Im so confused, my feelings of hatred flare inside me like a fire in my heart but an hour later after i can cry no longer, the feeling of love blossoms like the flowers of a rose garden. She is so so wrong, but this love, something about it, makes me want to stay. Help me.
 | 
Linear Mode
