x and I broke up about six months ago after being together three yrs and living with each other for 2. Wasnt a bad break up and have still been good friends. she jumped in anotherr relationship after ours and just broke it off with him. anywayz.... she asked me if i wanted to be friends with benefits(sleep with each other). I want this girl back and i have been giving her plenty of space and been dating alot of others people. I still truely love and care about her. What do I do?

aptdwellers

i am speaking as a woman and as a person who has MANY TIMES been in the "friends with benefits" situation. you stated that you want this girl back. it is not beneficial to you to be a "friend with benefits" if you cannot emotionally handle the disattachment that comes with the role.

have you countered her offer of being friend with benefits by asking her if she would like to pursue a 2nd chance at being in a romantic relationship?

trust me when i say that "friends with benefits" is a very dangerous relationship to be in if you really love and care about a person. it's emotionally trying on YOU, not on the person who wants only the friendship with free sex.

in the end, of course, people do what their heart wants them to do without regard to what their head is telling them, but you will be much better off emotionally and in terms of your personal spiritual evolution if you refrain from her offer and think about what type of relationship would truly make you happy. if you are really searching for true love, 'friends with benefits' is poor tradeoff - you deserve more than that.

good luck to you!

letmetellu

Friends with benifits is not a good thing......you are also having benifits with all the others that she may have had her benifits with

talaniman

Not a healthy relationship this FWB, in that you have an emotional attachment that will get your heart broken, no doubt. She will never come back, so instead leave her alone and heal yourself and build a healthy life doing the things you enjoy, and let her do her thing. Time to get real, and do your own thing with someone who can appreciate who you are, and return what you give to them.

Allheart

Oh Tal,

Had to spread the rep. BINGO!!!!! Chosen, read Tal's advice several times!!!!

Hurty

Friends with benifits
z really a good thing to talk about...
but when we say frndz do we mean real frndz...
or just frndz to give sex...
to be honest i think some times we need this kind of frndship..
but i think we will need it also as a real meaning of frndz..
i know how much z dangerous to be in a relation like this but some ppl thinks when we know what we want nothing will happend but they dont know that sometimes our hearts let us down and make us full in love maybe for the 1st time or again with our (FWB)....
i really dont know how to solve such a prob. but im satying around to know more...

Wildcat21

For get the friends with benefits - if you have feelinsg for this women it will NEVER work.

FWB is really unhealthy.

Saintas

100% agree .Well said .

Tuscany

Going into a FWB relationship with serious feelings is not a good thing. It is a pathway for disaster and heartache. Move on, see other people, be friends. Maybe after time you can be more then FWB.

Wildcat21

Yep leave her alone for now. No contact is the best thing. You will also heal yourself.

Make her miss you. Don't give yourself away.