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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Follow Up to " I need Help. I am simply lost and hurt again" 9/5 post

 
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Old Sep 12, 2006, 10:29 PM
rolljeep
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Follow Up to " I need Help. I am simply lost and hurt again" 9/5 post

First off, I want to thank Val, Philly, and others who posted and gave their honest opinions on this topic.

I was recently in a very bad auto accident and spent nearly a week in the hospital and half of the time in a coma. My sister took my phone and tm'd everybody on my list about my condition and supplied them with daily updates. My Ex was still in my phone list and she got all of the updates and when word came out that I came to, she was one of the first to phone me.

She spilled her guts out to me and explained what was going on and why she broke up the way she did with me. She said that she had wanted to contact me for some time, but was afraid because of the length of time.

The first night we spoke for about 4 hours and we have been in contact with each other about everyday. I don't know what to think because she said she misses me and loves me. She also confessed that she cried everyday since I got into the accident and regrets her decision to "let me go".

I don't know what to think because she still has never told me about her "rebound relationship". What do you think her motives are? How would you proceed in my case? I still have feelings for her, but the only way I would get back together is if she agreed to seek counseling and therapy for her issues. I really do love her, and she is in my thoughts everyday regardless. Do you think I should let her know that I am aware of her current status or play along and see if she will eventually confess?

As always, I prefer straight forward and blunt responses. Don't forget that I was in a coma for 3-4 days and I might not be thinking right.

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Old Sep 13, 2006, 03:44 PM   #11  
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Frankly, I agree with the "straightforward and blunt response" route. Also insisting on therapy and counseling as a condition for getting back with her is a good move if she indicates that she wants to start things up again. Be aware that she may, in a strange sort of way, be feeling guilty for what happened to you regarding the auto accident, maybe aggravated by guilt feelings for having broken up with you, and may be feeling some pity for you right now. You certainly don't want that. You can "feel her out" but take things real slow and easy. And be sure not to give your power away whatever you do.
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Old Sep 13, 2006, 03:46 PM   #12  
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Originally Posted by chuff
Well since she left you for another guy I will be blunt with what I think. If you did not cause this accident and their is a potential lawsuit or settlement in the future I think she sees money. I would tell her that you need to focus on getting better and put her on the back burner for now.

Good point, Chuff. Red flag to beware. Tried to spread the love but couldn't.

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chuff agrees: Thank you.
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Old Sep 14, 2006, 01:31 AM   #13  
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Originally Posted by mysticque
this is completely irrelevant and out of the question. Who knows this girl have other priorities too. It doesn't always concern of another guy. There's so many things to consider when it comes to getting involve with someone especially if that turns out to be successful and more stable. Girls gets scared just like guys do. They are afraid of commitment and what to expect and whatnot. In my opinion, I think she's being truthful. You just have to be careful what's behind her closet. All I'm saying is she might have thought about you so much but afraid of telling you all about her and completely leave herself vulnerable and pretty much open for a firing squad. I'm sure it's hard to make decision especially at this time of your life. Why dont' you just tell her that you would need time and considering of getting back with her soon your health is back to normal? I'm sure any girl can understand that. And if she truly wants you she would be more than willing enough that she would even consider helping you go through this crisis.

How old are you? Did you read that original post? She already left him. Of course she isn't going to say it's for another guy. No woman is going to admit that but generally it is. Then she was afraid to contact him until he was in an accident? Why then? If she really had feelings for him why wouldn't she have tried to make contact before and offer a plan for him on how she's changed.
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Old Sep 14, 2006, 06:50 AM   #14  
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No one really knows what motivates this female so going slow and focusing on your health is the main thing. I would ask her straight up what the deal is with her and if you feel she is keeping secrets then leave her alone. Don't play games, that is such a waste of time so be honest and ask what you want to know.
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